Talk To Your Kids About Lockdown Drills.

If you haven't had this conversation before?

Have it now.

It's impossible to avoid it.

Many of us in the south have started school already.

My daughter had her first fire drill today.

My first question after she told me that was ...

Did you have a lockdown drill yet?

She said no.

But it's coming.

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We Move Forward.

When?

When will it end?

How many lives need to be cut short before we see change?

How many people need to check in with their loved ones to report that they are safe?

That they were 'far from' the latest incident of domestic terror?

That's what this all is, you know?

Domestic.

Terrorism.

What do we do?

We move forward.

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5 Ways I Save Money Online

It's not always easy to save money.

It just isn't.

It's frustrating and can take way more effort than simply saving your coins for a rainy day.

Although I still do that.

It's actually been a while since I've carried the coins into the grocery store and clogged up the ole Coinstar machine. So. I'm definitely overdue there.

But I figured I'd share a few ways I've been saving money this year.

And yes, there are affiliate and referral links throughout this post. They help me earn a little bit of extra money towards the things I didn't expect to need. Please use them to enroll or look into any of these recommendations that might be interesting or brand new to you.

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When I Grow Up

I'm a big girl today.

I just had a new washer delivered all by myself.

I thought in advance about certain things and took care of them as needed.

I'm a big girl today.

I didn't let my emotions run me over while finding my way.

I'm not sure what else I'll need to do to maintain this feeling.

Some days I feel like I'm all alone - floating with no anchor.

Other days I feel grounded.

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I Have A Voice

It's been a heck of a week (and then some) in our country.

One loss after another and my heart continued to break a little every day.

This past weekend my husband and daughter and I took a drive to Virginia and on the way he and I started talking about all the things that had happened.

My husband had only JUST heard about Philando Castile the day before. This was the 8th. It happened on the 6th. I just assumed he had heard, but sometimes when you're working so many hours you miss things in the news.

The night of the Dallas shootings he had just come home after midnight, maybe closer to 1AM, and I woke up, looked at my phone and felt sick. I remember whispering it to him, forgetting that as it was officially the next day it was his birthday. So instead of happy birthday, honey - he got - omg - police officers shot after snipers shot into peaceful protesters in Dallas.

Nighttime whispers.

Not the kind they should be.

And so, bringing you back to our Saturday morning car ride, we spoke for a bit and something struck me. And then? I broke.

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Sunday Free Write: Because It's Okay

This post isn't going to be pinterest-worthy. It's not going to have beautiful images or links or anything fancy like that.

It's just going to be me.

Sitting down at my laptop on a Sunday night - writing.

I'm writing because I need to.

And because I believe that the world needs me to.

And because you should be writing, also. If you're so moved.

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One Match.

I have so many things I should be writing about - and a handful of book reviews I need to get done - and yet, I can't seem to think about anything else but the people in my world who move me.

The people in my world who move mountains.

I have friends. Family members. Sisters. Loved ones.

Each of them creates their own story.

Each lives through the highs and faces the lows.

Fights the good fight.

Parents their child(ren) with full hearts and minds.

Loves their partner with their whole being.

Recognizes that how they identify themselves impacts their child(ren) - today, tomorrow and in years to come.

These friends - these people - they are amazing. Powerful. Strong.

They're family. Friends. Loved ones.

They're people who move me beyond words. And yet - with these words - I try to describe the feeling anyway.

These are the people in my world who need but one match to make the change they're hoping for. They speak freely. They host conferences. Speak at them. Discuss business. Blogging. Health. Wellness. Emotions. Mental health. Pregnancy. Loss. Love. Grief.

These individuals in my world make up an entity I'm blessed to be a part of.

For I, too, might only have one match.

But I can make an explosion.

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Advocate2Vaccinate: World Immunization Week

Today marks the last day of World Immunization Week. And as part of that, we're wrapping up Advocate2Vaccinate with Shot@Life.

I had the opportunity to attend the Shot@Life Champions Summit in March of 2014. It was a life-changing experience. Besides all of the information I learned, which was a LOT, I also stormed the Hill with friends to advocate for what was important to us and so many. Yes, Capital Hill. Stay with me and I'll show you some pictures from the trip.

But more importantly let's talk vaccinations.

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Time apart.

For the first time in my daughter's entire life she has spent many many consecutive days away from us.

So many days that there have actually been days where I did not hear her voice.

And ALL the days that I have not seen her face.

It's really really strange.

Bizarre.

Panic-inducing.

The first day that I realized I had not spoken to her was really weird.

It was almost midnight and my heart exploded.

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Amazing Reads: The 1/24 Edition

I'm really enjoying this "series" I've started.

I'm also enjoying making the time to read blogs. It's important. It's a huge part of who I am, ya know?

And so, here we have a few posts that struck me as important to share with you all this week.

My friend Amy is amazingly talented and absolutely beautiful. She always looks so completely put together to me. I bet she didn't know that I think that, and I kick myself for waiting til now to tell her. But you know what? She's human, too. She wrote a bit of a letter to the person in line before her at Starbucks who taught her to pay it forward and brightened her day some. And she shared real and raw words with us. Check it out over at Somebody's Parents. You'll be thankful for the reminder that you're not alone. I know I was.

And speaking of raw and real, Erin has opened up and shared an experience that led to her flashing back, recognizing memories hurt and pain from her youth. Having her eyes opened to the reminder that she isn't responsible for all the bad things, all the "stuff," as she puts it is a reminder to us all that we didn't cause all the pains of our youth. So many things happened TO us. But didn't happen because of things we did. We were kids. How could we place that blame on an innocent child? We'd never do it now. We'd never let it happen to our children. It's time we shift that blame and place it where it belongs. Join Erin as she does that in The Blame Game.

More honesty this week comes from Fadra over at All Things Fadra. As soon as I saw the title of her post I had to go read it. As I Get Older is an open, honest account of things that she's started noticing about herself in her, ehem, not quite younger years. I'm right there with her and I totally feel it. I mean, I know I am not exactly twelve anymore, though I often say I "look" it. I mean, I do - don't I? No? Yeah. Maybe not. But I'm still all about the selfie. * Have you checked out my 2013 selfie summary yet? No? You totally should. Go on, I'll wait. Anyway, selfies aside, Fadra is another tell it like it is mama. And I like that. A lot.

I've decided that during my weekly Amazing Reads segments I'll be sharing a little bit of old school me from previous posts. I've got one this week that sort of sums me up in 400 words. Check it out. Challenge yourself to write something similar. It's kind of cool. I promise.

See you next week! And if you have an Amazing Read to share, let me know.

Maybe I'll feature you next!

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The words won't come.

They just won't.

I'm posting to remind myself that I am here.

That I have this space.

So much to say. So many thoughts.

The tears come and go as they please.

I don't expect them to stop.

I'm not sure I want them to.

But man, this hurts.

It's hell.

My heart is shattered.

Every day my daughter talks to my father.

Every single day.

And every day she reminds me to do it, too.

And so I do.

And he hears us.

I know he does.

But I want him to be here.

I want him to answer.

And he can't.

He won't.

Not now. Possibly not ever.

And it's not fair.

It sucks, truly.

I'm not one to mince words. That much you know.

And so - here I am - trying to find my words again.

Will there ever be anything else to write about?

Do I care?

No. I want my daddy back.

Can my words do that for me?

In my heart, I suppose, a little bit.

But not truly.

Not nearly in the way I am hoping for.

Missing you, Daddy. Still. And always. Forever.

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I'm sorry. #ForMiriam

An open letter to Miriam Carey. #forMiriam

Miriam,

Oh, how I wish I knew what you were experiencing. I wish I knew who failed you.

I feel like it might have been me.

No matter how hard I advocate. How hard I push. I see women like you whose lives end too soon. And it triggers me. It brings me back to the realization that it's not enough. It's never enough.

What were you going through?

Was it actually a postpartum mood disorder? Were you severely anxious? Did you realize what you were doing? Did you know your baby was in the car with you? Did you mean to risk your life? And your child's?

Where was your mind taking you?

We know it was your mind that led you to those gates. Those barricades. Your mind had you put that car into drive and go.

How far did you travel to get to where you were going?

What were you thinking along the way?

Were you thinking at all?

So many women. So many mommas. Their lives end too soon.

They appear okay. Seem to be getting help.

From people like me. I'm a therapist. I meed to be working. I need to be out there supporting women like you. I am not all the way out there yet, but I do my share as best I can.

I volunteer for organizations to support moms in need. Like Postpartum Education and Support, Moms Supporting Moms - a local organization that lets me show I'm there and flex my supportive muscles via email and phone. I write posts about postpartum mental health, posts about women like you, and I try to clarify. Try to explain that not every woman experiencing postpartum depression and/or anxiety wants to harm their child(ren).

I support moms at every point of motherhood in communities like Mama's Comfort Camp, created by Yael Saar to remind women everywhere that they are not ever alone.

I spread the word about communities like #PPDChat, created by Lauren Hale of My Postpartum Voice.

I talk about Postpartum International. I remind people that help is out there. I encourage people to get help, for themselves, their friends and loved ones.

I write posts about all of the amazing bloggers out there who are available to support, love and remind you you're not alone. These women who have been places that were similar to where you were and come back from the brink of it.

And still, it's not enough.

This is not about me. This should not be about me.

It's about you. And those like you.

But I want to shout anyway. I want to be HEARD. By those who failed you. Those who have failed so many others. I want to say COME ON, ALREADY!!!

How many women have to suffer before we figure this out? How many women have to leave their children motherless? Leave their families without a daughter, a sister, a wife? How many?

We don't know. We can't know.

And honestly, I have no idea if any of this even applies to you. Perhaps I'm being too stereotypical and jumping on the bandwagon that says you must have had some sort of postpartum mood disorder to do what you did. Maybe the small words from your mom or your boyfriend or your former boss or whomever said them led me and many down this path we shouldn't be taking, but I'm going to stand on the path, lace up my sneakers and RUN LIKE HELL. Shouting the whole way through.

Let's help these women. These moms. They need us. They need the support and love and people to trust. When they go for psychiatric care, therapy, help - we need to be there. Clinicians and physicians, OB-gyns, pediatricians, psychiatrists, I don't care who you are - what professional label you wear. If you know that a woman has just had a baby it's your responsibility to ask if she is okay. It's your JOB, your oath, your whatever the hell you want to call it - but do NOT let these women slip through the cracks. Please. I appeal to you, those out there, and beg of you - check in with your patients. Your clients. Make sure they are okay. And if they're not? Get them the help they need. If you are not capable of doing it, find them someone who can. Please. I implore you.

Please.

Do it.

Do it for them. For yourself. For the children. The loved ones.

Do it for Miriam.

And Miriam ... I'm sorry. I'm so sorry that your life had to end the way it did. There are so many if only-s. If only you hadn't turned the car around. Led the police to take chase. If only you hadn't driven there to begin with. If only.

If only you knew there was someone out there like me. Waiting to open my arms to you and hug you. So many someones who know what you were going through. And who got through to the other side.

If only.

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When I let myself think.

Sometimes I just lack ideas.

I try to brainstorm and my mind freezes. Which reminds me that the cup of coffee I was letting cool down so I could ice it? Probably lukewarm by now.

Be right back ...

There we go. It's a damp and rainy morning, and I think I'll make something in the crockpot for dinner. But my point was I should have opted for hot coffee instead of iced today, but yesterday was nicer and I iced some which got me back in an iced coffee kind of mood.

Which is also impacted by the horrible problem of Amazon Prime not getting me my coffee. A few days late is one thing, but we're closing in on a week here, which is unusual. I was blaming it on Sandy, because, let's face it - that's probably what it's from. And then I do that and think to myself, what a problem I have. I'm running out of coffee when people back in New York - my home state - city - home - have no power to even begin to plug in their coffee makers. Is coffeemaker one word or two? Looks right either way, no?

Please know that I was being sarcastic with the use of "horrible problem" up there. It's so totally not.

I'm all over the place these days, so this post will be kind of like a word association. Free flowing thought. I do that often, but this weekend I tried to start posts on Saturday and Sunday and they just didn't come. It's cool, though, because this is MY space and I can do whatever (within reason) I'd like here.

And I say within reason because things that go public are important and I have respect for myself and my family and so I'd be ridiculous to go extremely overboard, ya know?

There have been so many things happening in our world of late. Between the election and the hurricane, the loss of lives and so much. The people who are still in need of help. Power. Any sign that they might someday return to a normal way of life.

How does that happen?

I mean, I know we as a country experienced Katrina. And it was AWFUL. But I wasn't seeing it as first-hand. I hate to say it hits closer to home now, but it does. It does because New York is in my blood. And the loss might be the same, but I know the places this time. Same as someone from New Orleans would have felt after Katrina, right?

What's sad is that I am sure that so many there are still suffering, still working to find their way back. And that's years of time gone by.

What will New York look like when I go home again?

Where my parents and family live not much was physically affected, thank G-d. But so many areas nearby, hit so hard. Why am I not doing more? What more CAN I do?

I'm a mother. A wife. Can I just run up there and help hands on? I would if I could - isn't that what everyone thinks? So we send things. Money. Items. Support. Spread the word.

I'm going to ultimately try to do that here with loads of links and see if that makes me feel like I made a move. Did SOMEthing. (It'll be a separate post. I don't want it to get lost in my mind's ramblings here.)

So much to think about. So much color lost in the lives of so many.

I've taken to trying to add some pictures to my posts, and the only one I can think of to add right now is a beautiful spot of color in an otherwise dreary day.

Color and beauty with hopes to take flight.

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Type-A Reflections ... the people

It's like they say on Toot and Puddle: 

We saw great sights, We made great friends

And now our journey has to end.

Or something like that. It could be wrong, but whatever. It's all good. 

Either way - it's not the end. It's a cool journey on a conference weekend and though I think this was quite a different experience for me this year over last, I made new friends this time around, too. And reconnected with old ones. I'm happy to say these are people I think will stick around in my world. And I'm all the better for it. And for that - I thank them. Each and every one!

Me and the Lovely Lisa from Two Bears Farm! She was my roommate last year, and though we didn't room together this time around, she STILL brought me baked goods. Can you believe it? We were lucky enough to get in some quiet dinner time just the two of us and I'm thankful to be able to call her a friend. 

I was truly lucky to meet the incredible Nicole of Cute Culture Chick and Beauty and the Bypass and we clicked. I mean I seriously clicked with this woman. Thank goodness for Type-A. I may never have met her otherwise!

psst. By the way, this perfect picture was taken by the incredibly talented Sarah from Water Water Everywhere. I got a chance to get to know her on the drive to Charlotte and as you can tell - she's one killer of a photographer.

Do you know Mama.Mommy.Mom yet? No?
Go meet her. Jamie is my unlikely friend. 
When you meet someone once and rarely get a chance to talk you don't expect such a connection.
And then suddenly ... BAM! We started interacting via Twitter and our blogs. Friendship say wha? 
She also took this picture which I love. Crimped hair and all. 

Jennifer of MommyBKnowsBest is one of my favorite peeps that I met last year at Type-A.
We connected and somehow wound up roommates this time around, which was pure luck.
Love this chick. She's adorable (and we oddly look like we could be related in this picture - which is really a compliment to me) and totally real. I puffy heart her. Also? 
She can dance. Like shorty can move. For realz. /wink wink!

There are so many more pictures to share, and so much to say about the things I've learned, the places I ate (best.guacamole.ever), the people I connected with, but I have to stop here before I turn this into a tribute to each and every person I spent some time talking to. Sadly I don't have pictures with them all (I'm looking at you, Adrianna! - next time, I promise!).

I *think* I'll be writing up one more post about the conference ~ after all, last year I wrote three, too ~ and will try to cover the primary points of the sessions I attended, and what I actually LEARNED. Although, as you can tell by now, for me, this weekend was all about the people. 

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Coffee Talk ...

Please do not click on any of these links if you are not of legal age ...

So, let's talk.

I've decided that my post today will be a combination informative post and GIVEAWAY. I don't do that many giveaways, but when I spoke to someone over at EdenFantasys and they said I could give my code to someone else after I submitted my post, I figured, how fun! It's post-Valentine's Day, but we all know how that holiday can be SUCH a letdown, right?

So why not spice up your life a little bit?

Have you not checked out the EdenFantasys website yet?

If not, you really should.

What? Those kinds of things don't interest you? No? I get that. I'm not a frequenter of those erotica shoppes, myself.

But this is different. You can find some cute stuff there. Stuff you and your partner can enjoy. Or, hey, let's be honest, just you.

Take this massage candle (and if you win you'll have enough money on your Love Card to actually BUY this!) here: Shunga Massage Candle ... it just seems like a nice, calming and relaxing treat. Even better if you have someone to share it with, but I could certainly make do by rubbing my own feet if I HAD to.

Shunga apparently also make massage creams, and get this! They're edible. You could actually purchase two of these with the love card you can win here in my 'hood.

So, what are you waiting for? Just respond and let me know what you think you'd want to buy with your giftcard (likely amount to be $30, to be determined at a later date) to enter.

And should you want one extra entry, feel free to tweet about this with this example or whatever you come up with:

I entered to win an #EdenFantasys Love Card with @goodgirlgonered here http://bit.ly/gt3gJl

And provide the link for me and you're all set.

Thanks for playing! And hope you win and find something you'll truly enjoy.

Giveaway end date has not yet been determined. I will wait until I have the Love Card code in-hand to announce end date.

**I have not been compensated in any way for this post at this time. EdenFantasys has promised me a gift card code for $25-$30 once I have completed this post, and I have decided to pass that along to one of my lucky readers**

A winner was chosen today, Wednesday, March 9th as per Random.org:
Comment #2 is our winner! Congratulations, Crystal! I'll be emailing you shortly!

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