Signs.

Have you listened to Taylor Swift's [fairly] new song, exile yet?

I can play that song on repeat a trillion times a day, and it tears me up every time. 

Signs. 

They're so interesting, aren't they? 

We see them in retrospect. We blink, and they appear, often too late. 

And then we get stuck. 

Like a hamster on a wheel.

Replaying and replaying.

Each and every sign. 

We find ourselves wishing.

Thinking.

Hoping. 

Rewinding. 

But we can't.

We can't rewind. 

Not magically. 

Not really.

We can't see the signs that were there before he left.

We can't see the signs that were there before we lost her. 

We can't see the signs that were there all along.

We want to say we can't imagine they were there and we missed them.

And yet.

We did.

We do. 

We miss the signs. 

But what becomes most important - SO VERY IMPORTANT.

To each and every one of us. 

Is that we let them go.

We cannot stay there. 

Stuck.

Tripping over the signs that are behind us. 

We just can't.

So. Friends.

Let them go.

Those signs. 

They're irrelevant now.

They don't matter.

They mean nothing.

We can't change what happened.

It was not our fault.

We just didn't know.

We didn't see.

We skipped over the signs.

And we need to let them go. 

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Can We Please Not Judge?

Y'all really have your own thoughts about things, don't you?

You know what you need for your family to survive for the next 14+ days and you've made those purchases accordingly.

And maybe you got some extra toilet paper. Good on you. As long as you didn't knock someone over the head for it, I'm cool with that.

Honestly, I don't care if you ordered six dozen mega-packs of toilet paper from Amazon if it made you feel better.

And I don't care if you piled your shopping cart with about ten bottles of wine if you're so inclined.

You're a grown-up. You do you.

And I'll do the same.

But can you not judge me for my choices?

And if you're thinking, but what, Andrea, I didn't say anything to you about what you did or didn't buy when you went to the store two times this last week. What's the problem?

No. Maybe you didn't.

But did you, when you were buying your "essentials" - did you find yourself looking at the cart of the person next to you and thinking, what the heck do they need THAT for?

Did you look at how many blue boxes of macaroni and cheese they purchased and roll your eyes?

Did you count their cartons of eggs, and the number of boxes of cake mix?

Did you think, what on earth does someone need four jars of pickles for?

Did you look through their items and wonder why they didn't have berries and apples and avocados in their stockpiling stashes?

Did you consider that they didn't need that stuff because they get two produce deliveries every week so they can support local farmers and buy rejected fruits and veggies so they don't end up in the landfill?

Did you think about how their toddler ONLY eats the mac-n-cheese from the BLUE box, no matter how hard they've tried to get them to eat something else?

Did you count the number of bags of frozen chicken nuggets in comparison to packages of fresh chicken breasts and thighs? And if you did - did you realize that this was the third store they'd been to this morning and every single one of them was out of poultry?

Please, friends.

We are in the middle of a freaking PANDEMIC.

Hello. A PANDEMIC.

Definition from Merriam-Webster.

occurring over a wide geographic area and affecting an exceptionally high proportion of the population

an outbreak of a disease that occurs over a wide geographic area and affects an exceptionally high proportion of the population : a pandemic outbreak of a disease

Can we please stop with the judging?

Can we please remind ourselves that what we're just trying to get through this as best we can? And that we've each got our own concerns in the midst of it all? 

Because the last thing we need is to feel like someone is looking at us with an 'I've got it all together' kind of look. You know the one. The one that makes you feel like crap and makes you wish you could crawl into a hole. Or the freezer section at the local supermarket. Or maybe the beer section. And I don't even drink beer. 

I'm always telling people to cut themselves some slack. 

To give themselves a bit of grace. 

To remind themselves that, hey, we're all - each one of us - human. 

Now I'll take a moment to remind each of us of something else. 

The importance of doing the same for others. 

Cut them some slack. 

Give them some grace. 

Extend a bit of heart beyond your own circle. 

If you wouldn't say it to a friend, or want a friend to say it to you? 

Don't say it about anyone you don't know. 

Please. 

Please don't judge. 

* If you're struggling, I've offered some tips on how to find a bit of calm in the midst of the current chaos.

* If you're concerned about your community and the impact that closing schools will have on those families who are managing food insecurity? I have shared information on how to Donate to Your Local Food Bank. 

Read it to find ways to help.

Because helping feels so much better than judging, my friends. 

And I know you have it in you. It's why I love and respect you so. 

Important Disclaimer: 

If you're buying all the medical supplies and things that our friends' lives depend on, but yours does not? I will judge you. DO NOT PUT THE LIVES OF OTHERS AT RISK for your stockpiling purposes. Please. Just don't do it. You don't need fifteen bottles of distilled water. But your friend who needs a CPAP machine to BREATHE while they sleep? DOES. Thank you.

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Don't Step Out of Your Comfort Zone.

You know the saying, step out of your comfort zone.

Try new things.

You can do it!

You've got this!

All of that is true. Certainly.

You CAN do it.

And no doubt, at some point?

You WILL get it.

But what happens if stepping outside of your comfort zone causes you so much anxiety that you simply freeze?

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Super Simple Cauliflower Soup

This cauliflower soup recipe will change your life.

I'm not kidding.

You're going to be so surprised at how easy it is to make that you're going to start making it from scratch all the time.

I promise.

p.s. a few links throughout this post will bring you to amazon.com and enable you to shop while supporting good girl gone redneck.

You CAN make this soup with just three ingredients if you want to.

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Ch-ch-changes.

There's only so much in one person's life that remains consistent.

There's only so much in one person's life that remains exactly the same all the time.

Yes. Those two sentences mean the same thing.

Kinda sorta.

Consistent does not necessarily mean exactly the same, although in some definitions you'll find that it means "the same way all the time" and in others it means, well, not exactly the same but similarly.

/shrug/

Life has ups and downs (and overs and outs) and we all go along for the ride.

Many a person has lost their life to these ups and downs.

Many a person has lost their will to face the downs, or the repeated cycle of up-down-up-down.

Me?

Not me.

I'm riding it to the end, my friends.

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so•ca cocina latina

This was my drink. It was called Little Mendoza.
It was a pretty little cocktail with a way not little punch. 

This week was one of the longest weeks in creation.

Seriously.

So. Very. Long.

But fortunately for me, I had a night out with a friend at the delicious so•ca restaurant in Raleigh.

The food at so•ca was delicious. And the atmosphere was fantastic.

It was a weeknight, so it wasn't horribly crowded. And although the temperatures were mellowing out, we decided it would be more comfortable to eat inside.

Actually, I deferred to the host and he suggested inside. We agreed. Comfort over outdoor seating. North Carolina seems to have glossed over spring and it has to be much later in the evening to enjoy an outdoor meal. This is unfortunate, as I love the cooler temps.

Even last night on my way home from dinner (different meal) I opened the window in the Uber and enjoyed the breeze, then looked at the temperature and it was still 80 degrees. What on earth?

But back to so•ca.

We decided to start with a small plate, choosing the Colombian Pan de Yuca.

This picture doesn't do it justice. It was these buttery garlicky cheesy bread bursts with pickled onions. And I probably could have eaten several more servings of it - maybe they'll add an unlimited version to the menu just for me? (A girl can dream.)

I think that the next time I go I'll be ordering several little plates so I can leave room for dessert. Because the dessert options and beverages looked amazing, but I was too full to eat anything else just then.

I ordered the Pollo a la Brasa for dinner. It was beautiful. And delicious. Which matters more, certainly, but still. Look at how pretty it was plated.

The chicken was amazing. So well-cooked. And the avocado and tomatillos? Yum. I will let you know that the green stuff? Salsa verde. A little bit of an unexpected kick for me - the spice wimp - so if you order it and can't do spicy? Be warned. But get it anyway. I'm sure they'll help accommodate your taste needs.

so•ca offers a variety of options for your meal, and I've already decided that I really want to get back there for brunch sometime, because, omg, yum.

Have a look at these huevos rancheros from their Instagram feed? I mean, seriously.

Hello, so•ca brunch, here I come.

View this post on Instagram

Saturday! We are HERE for these huevos rancheros! #stafffavorite #saturdaybrunch

A post shared by so•ca raleigh (@socaraleigh) on May 18, 2019 at 9:31am PDT

So if you're looking for somewhere new to try and can't decide where to go? I highly recommend so•ca. I think you'll find whatever you're looking for and more. And I hope you enjoy it!

* This is not a sponsored post. I went to dinner at so•ca and thought I'd share some info about it with you. I had a wonderful experience and the staff is great, so why not spread the word, right? I hope you decide to go and do let me know how your meal goes. * 

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Morgan Street Food Hall - Raleigh, NC

I have been to Morgan Street Food Hall in Raleigh more than a handful of times.

It has quickly become one of my favorite places to eat.

Whether you're in the mood for empanadas, tacos, pizza, hummus, salad or lobster (yes, you're reading this correctly, I did say lobster), the food hall has you covered!

After attending a press event there and then going back repeatedly with my friend Kate of Life of a Ginger, she and I recently went back to the Food Hall to attended a hosted brunch event with our fellow Triangle bloggers and influencers.

But we were far from the star of the show at this event, y'all.

The vendors and businesses there were incredible. We had so many options to choose from, I likely won't get to spotlight them all, but I would love to introduce you to a few.

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Depleting.

Divorce is depleting.

Someone in a group I am in said that this morning, not in those exact words, but more along the lines of when someone reacted to something divorce related - how depleting that was.

Is.

Feels.

Depleting.

Damn.

That is the G-d's honest truth.

Divorce is exhausting.

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Emotions.

Emotions are tricky, aren't they?

We go through days.

Moments.

Feel as though we're flying high.

On top of the world.

We rely on others.

Feed off of them.

Our emotions often echo those of the people around us.

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Shopping Small With Two Of My Favorite Creators

image obtained for free from Pixabay

We all know what holiday shopping is like. We head to the malls and the big box stores and find ourselves exhausted and wishing we could pick up some Starbucks and head home to snuggle up on the couch and binge watch our favorite shows.

Just me?

I have been doing much of my shopping online for years. And every year I try to support small businesses, not just for Shop Small Saturday, or whatever it's actually called. But because I love supporting people as best I can - especially when they're friends!

Many of my friends have incredible talents. I'm sharing two of them with you here to help you support small businesses this holiday season.

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What You Need For Your Whole30

If you have been reading my blog for a while you are likely familiar with the fact that I have completed several rounds of Whole30. And while I've tried to find my way back to it a few times in 2017, I'll admit that emotional upheaval has kept me from giving up my carbs and left me still focusing on labels and the like when it comes to hidden ingredients, but also left me wishing sometimes that I'd go back to eating the things that filled me up in the right ways.

So. I have decided to share a few ideas with you all - and I've decided to start a Whole30 today. I'm not sure what round this is for me, but I'll try to figure that out later on.

I'm starting another round in hopes that I'll continue to remind myself that when I follow certain eating habits it represents positive changes that give me and my body the boost I'm searching for. It's not restrictions or limitations, but a way to see exactly how my body does best.

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Motherhood: They Hit The Soft Spots

Kids.

They hit the soft spots.

They don't mean to.

And yet. They. Just. Do.

They say these things and just hit exactly where it hurts - with no ill intentions - just the innocence of children.

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It Comes Again

I am a girl without a father.

Father's Day is tomorrow and I am, currently, a girl without a father.

A woman, sure. But when I think of my dad I am and will always be a girl.

A young girl at that.

I had a father.

Don't get me wrong.

I had him for forty-one years of my life.

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Introducing Harvest Time Foods Gluten Free Products

* This post is brought to you by the NC Department of Agriculture and Consumer Services. All opinions are strictly my own. * 

Wishing you could enjoy a taste of home like you used to but finding that your dietary restrictions don't allow it?

I have some incredible news! Harvest Time Food has a gluten free line that you're going to devour, especially when it comes to those incredibly delicious Anne's dumplings. That's right - you can make yourself some chicken and dumplings and not worry about a thing.

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9 Fun Mugs You'll Want For Yourself

Sometimes I think I'm a mug fanatic.

I love buying them as gifts, but I rarely do. Not sure why. Just tend not to.

I love buying them for myself even more. Don't do that often enough, either.

But I thought I'd round up some of my favorites in case you or someone you know (or maybe you want to buy me one?) is in need of some cheer while you sip your coffee or tea in the coming weeks.

* Affiliate links are provided throughout this post to facilitate your shopping experience. * 

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Managing Emotions

I'm an emotional person.

This has been a given. Know me, know I'm emotional.

And it's interesting what sort of control we're supposed to have over our emotions, isn't it?

That we're supposed to bite back the howls and the hollers.

Let the tears fall silently and wipe them away when nobody is looking.

I haven't written in over a week.

Maybe longer.

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Empty

I wrote this post yesterday. Or maybe more like over the past few days. There has been a lot of rewriting and a lot of adding more words to it. I'm lacking words, and yet I have oh-so-many. Where to begin? Our country is struggling. The cracks in the foundation are shifting in visible ways. My words may not be enough, but I need to say them and share them anyway.

Facebook tells me this morning that today is the International Day of Peace, or something like that.

Facebook obviously has not been paying attention to the news.

Or my wall.

Or much of my feed.

Or anything at all, maybe.

Because there's no peace happening.

Not internationally. Not nationally.

It's just. Not. Happening.

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8 Simple Ways To Reduce Stress

We all know what it's like to find ourselves stressed. Stress is a part of everyday life. It's a constant. Even people who don't think they're stressed probably are in some way. And the best way to move forward is to figure out ways to manage it. We need to find the best ways to shelve it and ensure that we're functioning at our fullest potential, as only we can. 

I'm not saying that's going to be easy, but I am saying that it can be done. And though I'm not always the best example, I do definitely have the right ideas. So - here are a few ways you can reduce your stress - consider which ones will work for you.

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Writing Outside My Safe Space

I've written a few pieces in recent days that I'd love you to have a look at.

This past weekend I was over at Her View From Home. 

I wrote about The Importance of Matzo Ball Soup. 

If you know my history you know I lost my dad a few years ago. And it's been quite the struggle to find my way through my grief. There are so many thoughts, so much to process. It's a rough road, but I do the best I can. And then the holidays come and there are so many reminders. So many memories - moments lost - never to be recaptured. Only my memories and my heart can hold him close. And so I've shared a bit of that with you and the Her View From Home readers. I hope you'll stop by. I'd truly appreciate the support.

And lastly, my other recent piece was over on the Postpartum Support International blog. I wrote about motherhood - and why there are good and not-so-good moments, but why motherhood is who I am. Motherhood is Me.  I have been posting there pretty regularly and you can find a list of my submissions, along with any other posts I've done outside of this blog on my Where To Find Me page. I hope you'll do some digging and have a look at what I've been up to. And stop over to PSI - consider sharing some of the posts with moms in your life. Moms in need of support and a reminder that they're not ever alone.

As always, my friends, thank you for the support. I obviously love my home here - but it's also pretty cool to be submitting elsewhere and to find people who enjoy my words. I'll keep doing that, and I hope you'll keep on reading.

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Lowcountry Livin'

I had the opportunity of a lifetime this past weekend - to spend some time in the Lowcountry. My first true visit to South Carolina gave me an opportunity to connect with some incredible women.

Let me go back a bit ...

I won a chance to attend a girls' weekend getaway for me and a guest hosted by the lovely and gracious Kim Boykin. Kim is an author who you're going to want to introduce yourself to, and not just cause I say so. Her southern hospitality knew no bounds this past weekend, as she welcomed a group of us into her Isle of Palms home.

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