Where Can We Go?

It's the guns.

A shopping mall.

It's the guns.

Kids playing hide and seek.

It's the guns.

Ringing the wrong doorbell.

It's the guns.

Turning around in someone's driveway.

And again. 

One neighbor asking another to consider their sleeping baby.

Still.

Playing basketball in our own yard.

Yet again.

Accidentally opening the door to a car that isn't ours.

Every.

The grocery store.

Single.

Our schools.

Time.

Churches. Synagogues. Mosques.

It's the guns.

Where can we go?

Is anywhere safe?

What's the possibility of someone we love not returning home?

How can we do anything anymore while living in this fear our elected officials do nothing about? 

The heart breaks. 

But anger prevails. 

Vote them out.

We. Must.

Vote them out. 

Because it's the guns.

Always. The. Guns. 

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This Is Exhausting.

Everyone, hi.

Hi, hello, all the greetings. 

I've been missing for months. 

Only I have been right here. 

Exactly here. 

Exactly where most of us have been for all the days since March. 

March 13th, to be precise. 

March 13th was the last normal-ish day. 

I went to my doctor.

I went to the grocery store. 

I picked up my daughter from school.

And then. 

Everything changed. 

For all the f*ckers out there who don't think anything has changed?

You. I have issues with you. 

For anyone who is confused as to what my life has been like all these days, weeks, months?

It's been quiet.

And different.

And yet, a new normal. 

One nobody wants to accept.

And yet, I do. 

I accept it.

Because I have concerns and I think it's important to acknowledge that.

And because I think it's important to remind ourselves that not everyone is living their normal life.

Because.

This.

Is. 

Exhausting. 

Friends. 

We're STILL in a pandemic.

We're still wearing masks. 

Many of our children are still in school at home.

Many of us grown-ups are still not returning to our offices. 

Me?

I always work from home.

It's something I've answered repeatedly since March.

Yes. 

Yes. 

I have worked from home for over seven (SEVEN!) years.

Y'all.

Guess what, though?

I could leave my house after my work day.

I did the school transport back and forth.

I lived in Lyfts.

I went on dates (don't gasp, there were so very few).

I went to Starbucks (I miss you so!).

I went to dinner with friends (I miss y'all more!).

Weekends were busy. 

We did things.

We saw people.

I lived a normal life. 

We lived a normal life. 

And now?

This?

This new normal?

This.

Is. 

Exhausting. 

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This Is Not Homeschooling.

Friends.

I see so so very many of you talking about the new normal.

You're parents. And your children are now home with you for all the days.

Your school-aged children.

Let me tell you something.

This is not homeschooling.

First of all.

Homeschooling parents make a CHOICE to homeschool.

They decide. They know that this is what is best for their child(ren).

You? You have been given no choice in this so-called decision making process.

This is not homeschooling.

Homeschooling parents also have communities.

Did you not know any homeschooling parents before today? (Okay, this week, or two.)

They do not sit in their homes and just teach their child(ren) all the things.

Sure. They have days where they are home. Working on lessons and the like.

But they do so so much more than that.

You? You have been confined to your houses with your child(ren).

You are not allowed to go to the museum. The zoo. The play place. The library.

This is not homeschooling.

You (hopefully!) have some guidance from your school, your teachers, your child(ren)'s support teams. You (hopefully!) have access to efforts they have taken for you to utilize to help you teach your kids.

Homeschooling parents create their own lesson plans.

Sure - they might use an online program, they may purchase some workbooks, but they create it all. The whole syllabus. Schedule. Everything.

The main purpose of my clarification here is to remind you - as mom or dad or grandparent - that you are not required to do it all right now. This is brand new to you. This was not something you planned or decided on or researched in any way.

YOU ARE DOING THE BEST THAT YOU CAN.

WE ARE ALL DOING THE BEST THAT WE CAN.

And it's also a reminder, the next time you hear someone mention a homeschooled child and you find yourself thinking, I wonder how they're going to get on in the world without socialization (come on, you know you've thought it, or certainly HEARD it, at least ONCE!), you also remember that their parents have considered that. And they've made sure that their child(ren) gets to experience all the things. And their so-called lack of socialization? Is an unnecessary concern.

And, sure, there may be the homeschooling parent who only works from their home and doesn't offer their child(ren) the opportunities others do. For whatever reasons. It's not our place to judge. But most? Do not. They're out there. Teaching and learning and engaging with others. Ensuring their kids have the best of everything.

And it's a lot more than what you're suddenly finding yourself doing.

Because. My friends.

This is not homeschooling.

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Ask Her.

There has been a lot of chatter about maternal mental health this last week or so.

That said, it has not all been heartwarming or supportive.

Why is that, you may wonder?

Well, because Her Royal Highness, The Duchess of Sussex, has made some statements about being vulnerable. And about not being okay.

And the internet world, as it so often does, has torn into her beyond words.

Meghan. I see you.

I see you. And in seeing you I recognize the strong possibility that you are living with a Perinatal Mood and Anxiety Disorder (PMAD). *

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Talk To Your Kids About Lockdown Drills.

If you haven't had this conversation before?

Have it now.

It's impossible to avoid it.

Many of us in the south have started school already.

My daughter had her first fire drill today.

My first question after she told me that was ...

Did you have a lockdown drill yet?

She said no.

But it's coming.

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For The Single Parent: Children and Transitions

When parents and child(ren) live together in one home they're a family unit.

Regardless of how the day plays out, the child(ren) knows that they will return home to that family unit - together - whether they go to work, school, travel, whatever they are out and about doing, that child will - at some point - be under the same roof with his / her parents. Two parents. Whatever the combination of parents that may be.

When couples divorce, it's a brand new world for them. And for their children.

Brand. New.

These kids, they're learning that what they trusted. What they expected. What they thought would last their entire lifetime and beyond? Is no longer there.

And boy, it hurts. It stings. It's freaking confusing. Painful. Head-shaking.

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Parenting: You're Their Safe Place

Good day, friends. I've got some valuable information here for you. I hope you'll take a few moments to read, and possibly share, if you think it will benefit others, as well.

This piece is the first part of a new series (possible multiple posts hopefully = a series) that I'm writing about parenting. What you are about to read is related to the really young ones. Children of grade school age, and younger. I'm not being age-specific because our children develop differently, only you can determine if I'm referring to your child when you read my words. But I remind you that there are many other aspects of parenting where parents - maybe one - maybe both - maybe other adults in our children's lives - represent the safe place for them. Stay with me and I'll be sharing more on those scenarios, too. Soon.

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Explore.

I have never done a word for the year before.

I often thought about it. Figured, what better way than to pick a word to focus on as I faced a brand new year? Different than resolutions. More flexible. More relaxed. Just one simple word.

But nope.

Never happened.

And then this year came along.

At the end of 2018 I found myself making plans for 2019.

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Community.

This morning I was catching up on Instagram Stories.

I like to see what my friends are up to, and yes, some of these people I watch and check up on I do consider friends. Not just blogging boos or celebs that I keep an eye on, or expert chefs and the like.

And I caught some clips of Kita in the Dark with my friend It's Really Kita.

She was talking about community.

I told her that I thought she just gave me the prompt for my next blog post.

And so here I am.

The part of her story that jumped out at me first was the mention of the dreaded ole' emergency contact.

Goodness.

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Voices.

image from Pixabay

I'm sitting here watching The Voice, and it's interesting that the title for my post is Voices.

I'm sticking with the one word titles for November. Though I'm obviously off the daily posting thing.

So.

Voices.

They represent so much.

What voice do you use when you speak?

How many voices do you have?

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Is There Anybody Out There?

Hello, dear friends.

Remember me?

Oh, how quickly they forget.

I'm Andrea.

Good Girl Gone Redneck.

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Sweet Sixteen

This post was written a week ago, on a date that mattered to me once and will always hold a spot in my heart as one of the reasons I am who I am today. Join me as I look back for a bit, and look forward for always.

I'm quite reflective in my space these days.

I'm coming to a turning point in my life - or I've already turned several corners - and in doing so I've felt some storms a-brewin' inside of me.

I've noticed the intensity with which I absorb other people's stories.

I've always been a listener. In fact, a little over a year ago I had been listening and listening and supporting so many. I'd been writing, too.

Finding words to remind people that they would, WE would, move forward.

That we would grow.

That we would do so very much - with or without those around us. With or without an organization and individuals we had felt represented so much of who we were. Who we are.

And then, within a week or so, I found myself having to dig deep and think those same things, same words, just.for.me.

I'm still me.

I still grow.

I still feel the intensity I've always felt.

I'm still passionate about things that matter.

I'm still who I am and who I want to be.

I'm changing, growing, thriving - all the time.

Even in the moments that I find myself looking around and feel as though I have been standing still for 365+ days.

Sweet sixteen.

Sixteen years ago today I changed my life by saying a few words.

Signing some papers.

In the coming months I will change my life again.

By thinking some words.

By signing some papers.

Sixteen years.

I was determined today, to not really think about the date.

I didn't focus on it. Think too hard.

Facebook reminded me of anniversaries gone by, but other than that I was shown love and support by two people I receive it from unconditionally. Always.

And then, the day went on.

No flashbacks.

Photographs.

Laughter.

Tears.

Just me.

Me and my daughter.

And that's when I reminded myself.

Sixteen is just a number.

Just like 44. And 45.

Like 29. Like 34.

Like 14. And 15.

Like 10. And 11.

Numbers can just be numbers.

You don't always have to do the math.

Sixteen.

The number 16 is a karmic number, and people under its influence need to keep their feet on the path of higher learning. They must cultivate their personal willpower, independence and initiative action to enable them to overcome obstacles that come into their life experiences. 
Number 16 denotes that many will experience trials and defeats throughout their lives. 

- - From Numerology - The Vibration and Meaning of Numbers

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Falling Short.

I used this term with a friend tonight and got asked what I'm comparing myself to.

Or who against.

And she's so damned right.

And yet. I do it anyway.

Why do we do this?

This comparison thing?

It's not a game.

There's no winning or losing.

Who are we up against?

Who are we standing side-by-side with?

Aren't they our friends?

Our loved ones?

Those who support us and encourage us and listen to us with their entire hearts?

Aren't these the people in our lives?

So - falling short.

Why is it even a thing?

Because we've spent so many years comparing ourselves.

We - especially women - and I say this because it's what I know and who I am ...

We compare ourselves to those around us.

To those we know.

To those we don't.

Especially to those on social media.

We say to ourselves, I want to be like her when I grow up.

And suddenly, we look around and realize we ARE grown up.

But how can that be possible?

We're not there yet.

Where is there, anyway?

If I'm being honest - I'm not sure.

My "there" is in my own head.

Especially now.

Today.

This week.

This month.

This year.

Oh. This year.

I've fallen short more times than I can count.

More times than I can explain.

I don't always know why.

Or what causes it.

But I've felt it.

Lived it.

Breathed it.

Falling short stings.

It stings so badly.

Maybe even more when you have no idea who you're comparing yourself to.

Is it easier when you do?

I'm not sure.

I'm still trying to figure that out.

I'm still here.

Falling short.

All the while telling my friends that they're amazing.

Incredible.

And above all - or in spite of it - human.

We're all human.

So.

Who are we comparing ourselves to, exactly?

And how is it possible that we're falling short at all?

Isn't it just that we're being ourselves?

Living our lives?

Finding our way?

And then.

When we do.

We'll see we were there all along.

Where we were supposed to be.

Never short.

Never behind.

Never beneath.

Just.

There.

And isn't it possible.

Likely, even.

That that's exactly where I am, too?

Right there.

Right next to you.

Standing tall.

Even me, my 5' 2" self.

Tall.

And not really falling short at all.


If you need a woman in your life like my friend Dani you can find her at Ok, Dani and talk to her about the opportunities she has for you to hire her as your coach. This girl motivates and inspires like nobody's business. Or however the saying goes. Reach out to her. You'll thank me when you do.

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Finally.

I finally did it.

It's almost been an entire year.

It's time.

I think so, anyway.

Beyond time, if I'm being truthful.

And so.

I finally did it.

I shifted.

Moved.

Recognized what I'd ignored all along.

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Motherhood Is ...

Good morning, y'all.

It's barely 7:30 and I'm ready for a nap.

My morning was, for lack of a better and more gentle word, interesting.

My morning was motherhood.

And if you're not this mom you may be wondering - what exactly does she mean?

Allow me to share this morning's definition of motherhood with you.

Motherhood is ...

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A Brand New Year

I'm sitting on my couch with my daughter.

She is playing a video game.

I'm on the computer.

That last part is obvious - no?

This really isn't that much different than last year.

My daughter and I welcomed in 2017 with her asleep on the couch. I even recorded the moment the year changed on Snapchat and their year in review popped up with a reminder that made me giggle.

She fell asleep and just missed it. This year she is determined to stay awake.

So.

That's different.

We've got a new cat we're snuggling with.

We had a new one last year, too.

Last year we had two dogs, this year we had to say goodbye to one.

July ended with lots of weeping and sadness.

We knew it was coming - but couldn't prepare for it - how can you prepare to say goodbye to such an unconditional love?

It broke our hearts.

We miss him terribly.

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6 Graphic Novels For Your Grade-Schooler

image via pixabay

My daughter is currently in fifth grade.

Over the last few years she has developed an affinity for graphic novels.

There are so many cute ones out there right now for kids of all ages.

I'm going to share a list below of some of her favorites - with the hopes that maybe a child you know might enjoy them, too. For your shopping convenience you'll find affiliate links throughout this post.

Recommended age range and grade levels shared from Amazon, but as always, use your judgment based on your child's maturity level and reading ability.

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And The Award For The Worst Mom Ever Goes To ...

You guessed it.

Me.

It's been a hell of a day here in my house.

It started first thing this morning.

I'm not living large right now.

Not loving life.

I probably wouldn't even be posting right now if it weren't for NaBloPoMo.

National Blog Posting Month.

Yep.

Every November.

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To All The Single Moms

Confession time: I've been holding this post in my drafts for a bit. I've been looking for other places to submit it to. I've been thinking, well, is it going to start something w. people when I just want to WRITE and don't want to start anything? And so, I let it simmer. And tonight? While trying to figure out what's for dinner? I've decided to hit publish. Because this is my reality right now - and in sharing it it might help someone else - same as the words of others have helped me. 

I've often been the kind of person who mentioned solo-momming it when my spouse was away for work.

That's not even remotely close to being a single mom.

I'm pretty sure I never indicated that it was, but whether I did or didn't, I'd like to clarify, it's not.

Not at all.

I've seen the mommy wars, watched them unfold online. I've experienced firsthand what it's like to be stuck in a word battle with women you don't even know.

They suck. I'm not here to encourage them. I'm not here to enforce any "laws".

I'm here to speak. To write. To share.

To use my space in ways that I need to.

When you're in a partnership and your partner is traveling for work and you're the only one dealing with all the things?

You're not a single mom.

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When I Grow Up

I'm a big girl today.

I just had a new washer delivered all by myself.

I thought in advance about certain things and took care of them as needed.

I'm a big girl today.

I didn't let my emotions run me over while finding my way.

I'm not sure what else I'll need to do to maintain this feeling.

Some days I feel like I'm all alone - floating with no anchor.

Other days I feel grounded.

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