We Need Each Other.

Do you talk about mental health with the people in your life?

Do you tell them if you're struggling?

Do you ask them if THEY are struggling?

Mental health matters. It matters to me. It should matter to you.

Over the years it has been so easy to use words like nuts, crazy, whacko, insane.

I used to use them. I shouldn't have - but I did.

That isn't to say that I never do. I still describe myself as a little crazy now and then.

What is a little crazy, anyway?

Do we really know?

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Ask Her.

There has been a lot of chatter about maternal mental health this last week or so.

That said, it has not all been heartwarming or supportive.

Why is that, you may wonder?

Well, because Her Royal Highness, The Duchess of Sussex, has made some statements about being vulnerable. And about not being okay.

And the internet world, as it so often does, has torn into her beyond words.

Meghan. I see you.

I see you. And in seeing you I recognize the strong possibility that you are living with a Perinatal Mood and Anxiety Disorder (PMAD). *

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Mental Health: Suicide in the News

I wrote a post this morning on my Facebook page.

I explained the importance of paying attention to what we share about loss of life to suicide, especially when it's all over the news.

I explained how triggering these types of shares can be for the general public. General, every day people in our lives who read these things, watch the commentary and think to themselves, wow.

My own feed was full of speculation, judgment, biased observation, and links to articles filled with much of the same. And me, a therapist who has not experienced thoughts of taking my own life in any manner, has not experienced this kind of pain, *I* found it quite triggering. Painful, even.

I shook my head a lot.

Thought of my clients, people I've worked with over the years, who have experienced thoughts of harming themselves. Thoughts of ending things.

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Adventures With Postpartum Depression with Courtney Henning Novak

Today I'm going to introduce you to my friend Courtney.

Courtney is a postpartum warrior who has recently written a book, Adventures With Postpartum Depression, (there are affiliate links in this post) about her experience as a new mom. She is fierce. She is powerful. She is a survivor. I'm beyond excited that she was open to joining me here in my space to share a little bit about her life, her book, and motherhood. Please join me in welcoming Courtney!

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My Anxiety Does Not Own Me

This post was written two years ago for another website, but the words, the feelings, the thoughts, the heart? All me. All mine. Please note, you will see an indication that my daughter is eight - but she is ten now. These feelings still resonate. 

When I found out I was pregnant, I was over the moon excited. Beyond thrilled. And, if I’m being honest, a little bit shocked.

As someone submerged in the mental health field, I was on the ball. I knew what to look for. I knew what could happen.

I knew about postpartum depression. I knew about maternal mental health. I knew from anxiety. I experienced it in my regular life.

Pre-motherhood. Regular. You know? The basic days of work and school, caring for pets, becoming a wife. Moving across several states. Away from friends and family.

I knew anxiety. I knew it could hit me. I was ready.

But I never knew how hard it would hit.

My experience was during pregnancy. People focus on postpartum mental health a lot. Many mamas don’t know that they can experience this during pregnancy, as well. 

I’m here to tell you it happens.

Even when you’re armed with information. 

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Friday Free Write: Summer Writer's Block

Ugh. It stinks.

Summer Writer's Block.

I'm living it right now.

I have three posts in draft form in my batter's circle and I simply cannot push publish on any of them.

They just don't mesh with what I feel like saying or sharing right now.

One of them is a book list that's unfinished.

You'd be surprised at how much work book list posts are.

I know, I'm not trying to say oh-woe-is-me. I promise. I love talking books. Simply love it. But to make that beneficial to me and my site I need to really work hard at giving you more than a list of books or some pretty covers to look at.

Or do I? What do you like about book lists and recommendations?

It's been a while since I've done a book review. Possibly since before March. I've had a lot of stuff going on in my world and books have not been at the top of my list when it comes to things to talk about. I've written lists, whoa - how many times can I type the word list anyway?

This is definitely turning into more of a free-write kind of post. Which is fine. It's like Free Write Friday. Huh. Maybe I'm on to something? Are you in?

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Ten Truths About Mental Health

Source: pixabay... /en/consulting-mental-health-health-1739639/

If you've been a regular reader of my blog you're bound to already know how important the topic of mental health is to me.

As a licensed clinical social worker, it's a given that this topic is not just a part of my professional world - but basically IS my professional world. And when it comes to personal discussions, you already know that I speak freely about how important it is to take care of your mental health.

For mental health awareness month, I'm participating in an effort with some other bloggers, coordinated by Brittany of Clumps of Mascara, to normalize the discussion about mental health.

And in doing so I've decided to share some truths about mental health - for those who might know nothing about what it's like to get help - or what it's like to struggle with mental illness - or - well - pretty much anything I can share I'm going to share here. Because for those out there struggling, it's helpful to hear these things (or read them, as the case may be here), and for those who aren't? It's important to those who are that YOU read them, too. And hear them. And know what your friends and loved ones are experiencing. So please - even if this doesn't apply to you - read on. You just might be able to better understand someone in your life who needs you to.

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Mother's Day: Your Diagnosis

This week I'd like to share some notes on motherhood I've written. Some of these posts have been shared before on other websites. Links to those sites have been noted at the end of these posts. Some pieces have been shared here on my own blog, but are things I feel deserve another look. Some are just brand new shares on being a mom. Join me in celebrating mothers. 

Source: pixabay... /en/company-mother-kids-2262548/

Listen, friends, my early motherhood months were no picnic. I was already on medication, though, thanks to my own experience and my doctors’ awareness. They were open and listened to me. They helped me find the support I needed – and for me that was in the form of meds.

I found online support within my local moms’ group. And I used to joke that I had “PPD-lite”—I even thought I made up the name PPA. I never knew it was a legitimate postpartum mental health diagnosis. Postpartum anxiety. It’s not just legitimate, it’s very real. Real in that it impacts so many mothers – all day, every day.

Remember, I’m a licensed clinical social worker. And I didn’t know that postpartum anxiety was actually a thing.

Whatever it is you’re experiencing? Whatever you’re feeling in these early postpartum days? It’s real.

You may think to yourself, well, I get out of bed, I take care of my baby, and I actually leave the house – so I can’t have postpartum depression, right?

Right. Or maybe not.

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Mother's Day: Dear New Mama

This week I'd like to share some notes on motherhood I've written. Some of these posts have been shared before on other websites. Links to those sites have been noted at the end of these posts. Some pieces have been shared here on my own blog, but are things I feel deserve another look. Some are just brand new shares on being a mom. Join me in celebrating mothers. 

Source: pexels... /photo/crescent-moon-and-cloud-wind-chimes-235243/

Dear New Mama,

Oh! It’s your very first Mother’s Day. It’s so special. So very very special.

And beautiful, too.

All of the emotions! The joy, the excitement, the anticipation. The thoughts that run through your mind that tell you that THIS, this will be YOUR day.

Finally.

Finally, you, new mama, have a day of your own. One where you’re recognized for all the work you’ve been doing this far.

The diapers. The feedings. The laughter. The tears.

Yes. The tears.

I know, I know. Nobody talks about the tears.

I’m here to tell you, new mama, that it’s okay. You’re allowed to have tears.

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Mother's Day: Celebrating You

This week I'd like to share some notes on motherhood I've written. Some of these posts have been shared before on other websites. Links to those sites have been noted at the end of these posts. Some pieces have been shared here on my own blog, but are things I feel deserve another look. Some are just brand new shares on being a mom. Join me in celebrating mothers. 

Hi there, sweet mama,

Happy Mother’s Day. 

Yes! I know. 

It’s Mother’s Day. 

And you’re a mom. Such a fun day to celebrate!

It’s a day celebrating you, and your mom before you, and her mom before her – a day for all moms and mother figures to be recognized for all the beautiful things they’ve done for their children.

But you – you, sweet mama – you’re trying to figure out how that’s possible. You’re trying to rationalize how the label of mother entitles you to receive accolades on this Hallmark holiday.

Because you might not feel like you deserve any.

You might feel like you’re a mom in title only. You might feel like you haven’t done anything but take on the role of robotically taking care of this little person who eats and sleeps, cries, poops, eats and sleeps some more.

You might feel afraid of holding your baby. You might flinch so hard when she cries. You might want to run away. You might toss and turn at night. You might want to lock yourself in the bathroom. You might turn the music on really loud so you can take a moment to catch your breath. And truth is, you might have to.

But you know what, mama? That’s okay. You can feel all of these things. You can do them. You’re allowed to take care of you, too.

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The Role of Empathy in Peer and Clinical Support

* Author's note: I do not and would not claim to be, nor have I ever stated that I was or am, an expert on all things mental health related. That said, I'm writing this from experience - both, as a social worker, and a volunteer in various aspects of the mental health world. I would appreciate some grace as you read this so I ask you keep that in mind and know I do not judge YOU for the work that you do. I just encourage you to keep learning, working towards the goals you have set for yourself, and respecting all others along the way. *

Working in the mental health field is a role that I wouldn't trade for anything in the world.

I truly believe that this is the place I belong.

I love my clients. I love working with people at different stages of their needs, different levels of support. All of it. I love the feeling I get when I hang up the phone and recognize that they have recognized that the work they're doing or have done MATTERS in the scheme of things that is their life.

I also love the volunteer work I do. Supporting women who are experiencing or have experienced perinatal mental health disorders is something I'd give up for - well - for absolutely no reason that I can think of at this time.

And honestly? I hope to combine the two in some way in the not so distant future.

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Postpartum Mental Health Resources

To those of you out there today sad and hurting? I am thinking of you.

But I pause and share a very important reminder to the women out there who are worried about the moms who need help?

Google.

I don't mean this in a condescending way, but yes, I do know how it sounds.

Except I said it to myself.

Keep reading. I literally just Googled. For like an hour (give or take). I searched for the following terms and these are the sites and resources I found. And look, really look. Because Postpartum Progress is among them. The site still stands. The information is STILL there. Mamas in need, their family members, loved ones? They will find help.

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Still A Warrior

You may be bored with me, dear readers. You may have had enough.

And if that's the case, that's okay. I can take it.

If you are a part of my community of women, mothers, who wakes up today confused, hurt, angry, struggling? I am with you.

I am trying very hard to remain a voice of reason. I am trying so hard to see both sides.

I know what I am saying and have said publicly.

I do.

I say, repeatedly, that I stand with women of color. And I do.

And I know that to some of you it doesn't make sense.

How? How was this about women of color?

What happened?

How did she suddenly become the object of everyone's anger and hatred?

And I know. I see you.

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Taking a Moment. Taking a Stand.

Friends, to some of you this will not make any sense.

I start off by saying that I am okay. I am fine. But I know many people who are not fine today, and so, I take my space and use my words to speak to this. Because it's important that I do.

I am emotionally drained from a situation I have watched unfold from pretty close to the front lines - one that impacted someone I care about very much - many someones, in fact - and because of that I felt a need to address others who might be feeling the same way that I do. That I have.

I am so so tired. In the small window of a few days so much has happened in the world I surround myself in, and I, me, a white woman who is not truly 100% impacted by what has happened? I am tired.

But this is not about me. Not in many many ways. But when you're a mom and a woman and a volunteer, and you see so much happening around you and you want to take a stand and support the women you love, and your heart is torn in two different directions and you don't know what to say or do? You hurt. You hurt for those you love. And for those who you may not even know.

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October 10th is World Mental Health Day

Today is World Mental Health Day.

Mental Health awareness is so important. It's critical. It's a part of our lives, whether we recognize it or not.

One in five adults experience mental illness.

One. In. Five.

Can you imagine it?

It's possible you can.

And it's possible because you might be that one in five.

And if you are? Think about how many people there are in the world.

How many people exist and how many people one in five represents.

Remember that you're not alone.

Never. Ever. Alone.

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Writing Outside My Safe Space

I've written a few pieces in recent days that I'd love you to have a look at.

This past weekend I was over at Her View From Home. 

I wrote about The Importance of Matzo Ball Soup. 

If you know my history you know I lost my dad a few years ago. And it's been quite the struggle to find my way through my grief. There are so many thoughts, so much to process. It's a rough road, but I do the best I can. And then the holidays come and there are so many reminders. So many memories - moments lost - never to be recaptured. Only my memories and my heart can hold him close. And so I've shared a bit of that with you and the Her View From Home readers. I hope you'll stop by. I'd truly appreciate the support.

And lastly, my other recent piece was over on the Postpartum Support International blog. I wrote about motherhood - and why there are good and not-so-good moments, but why motherhood is who I am. Motherhood is Me.  I have been posting there pretty regularly and you can find a list of my submissions, along with any other posts I've done outside of this blog on my Where To Find Me page. I hope you'll do some digging and have a look at what I've been up to. And stop over to PSI - consider sharing some of the posts with moms in your life. Moms in need of support and a reminder that they're not ever alone.

As always, my friends, thank you for the support. I obviously love my home here - but it's also pretty cool to be submitting elsewhere and to find people who enjoy my words. I'll keep doing that, and I hope you'll keep on reading.

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Guest Post: Jessica, Maternal Mental Health Advocate

In case you haven't noticed, I've been posting a lot about postpartum mental health lately. And in doing so I've made reference to Warrior Moms several times.

Warrior Moms are the moms I met in Boston. And some of them are mamas I connected with virtually in preparation for the conference. They are my sisterhood.

And among these mamas I made friends who truly get it.

Some of them don't (yet) have blogs, and have accepted my invitation to use my space to share their experiences, thoughts and so forth. I'll be opening up my space to many friends in the coming weeks (maybe months!) to discuss a number of topics that are of importance to them.

Please join me in welcoming Jessica.

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Let's Talk About Privilege.

I'm quite obviously a white woman.

White women have a privilege that women of color do not.

Let's face it. We have many. Not just one. Many.

The news every single day shows us just how many.

But for this post my point is going to focus on postpartum and pregnancy mental health.

And yes, I'm back to talking about the Warrior Mom Conference.

Again.

I know.

I can't help it.

It's THAT important.

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This is my Sisterhood.

This. This is what I did this weekend. This is what I absorbed. Learned. Loved. Lived.

It is what I saw in every single smile. What I felt in every pair of knowing eyes. What I held in my heart as I hugged mamas who hold the knowledge of what many have lived, deeply inhaling the support and hearts of 100+ amazing women. And then exhaling. Letting out tears of frustration, exhaustion, emotion and then some.

These are my people. My story is my own. My story is enough. But my story is their story. And every mom's story who has experienced any sort of anxiety or depression during pregnancy or after giving birth. Any mom who felt their mind racing so fast they couldn’t fall asleep in the quietest of spaces. Any mom who has heard their baby cry and wanted to hide in the bathroom - or did. Any mom who worried that their child didn't love them, or didn't know and feel they were loved. They did. They loved you. They do. They know you love them, too.

These moms? YOU? You moms? You're good moms. Each one of you. Each of us. Sometimes it's hard. Sometimes anxiety and a racing heart get in the way of recognizing the truth. Sometimes guilt over just about anything steals the joy we think we should always be feeling. That joy is OURS. We can own it. We're allowed. We should. There is no guilt. We did not do anything wrong. It is not our fault.

Anyone out there who knows a mom who might be struggling? Please share this with them. Don't tag them. You don't need to. They'll know it's for them. Or message them, privately. Let them know that you know. Share the love. The reminder. The support. It's deserved. They deserve it. You do, too.

And please, if anyone sees this and needs help - or needs help finding help - reach out. To your friends, your loved ones, to me - please. Reach out to me. I am here to listen without judgement. To help you find your way. I'm here to remind you you're going to be okay and you're not alone. Not now, not ever. Never alone. We've got you. ‪#‎WarriorMoms‬

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I Am A Warrior.

On Monday I returned home from a weekend in Boston.

I attended the first Warrior Mom Conference of ever.

Katherine Stone of Postpartum Progress, our Warrior-Mom-in-Chief, welcomed us all and reminded us that we - WE - are Postpartum Progress. Not just her. Not just the Board. But all of us. Us. The Warrior Moms.

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