Friday, December 15, 2017

Three More Months

relationships, family, divorce, single mother, solo mom, emotions, growth, change, heart

Three more months before we sign a piece of paper and wait for word.

Three more months before we've lived separately for an entire year.

Three more months before I look forward and likely think - what now?

Three more months before ...

What?

Before what?

Today is the nine month mark.

I'm not pointing that out as the premise for this post, because nine months seems like forever in the scheme of things. And three seems as though they'll fly by.

Three more months before I have to truly decide, do I want to maintain the same last name as my child for a while longer, or am I ready to go back to who I was before?

I'm still me.

Despite the changes I've lived through and the changes that come.

But what is my name, exactly?

I don't think I know. Yet.

Three more months until we find ourselves breaking things down - piece by piece - between us. Not that we haven't done much of that already, because we have. We do. And still, we will.

Three more months.

Until.

Before.

Three left. Nine gone. Twelve total.

Thank you, North Carolina.

For twelve.

I can't say if that was a good thing or a bad one.

I can't say if things would have fallen into place differently without them.

I'm not sure if I'm saying thank you for real or with sarcasm.

I really don't know.

I'm just saying it because it's what crosses my mind right this very second.

In this moment.

Where I noticed. Suddenly. That today.

December 15th.

Leaves me with three more months to call myself a wife.

Although that part of me - she's been gone for a while now - she's known the nine and she's packed her bags and moved on.

She visits now and then, knowing the date is coming.

She made space, though, so the woman who stands in her place can experience different things.

All the firsts.

Calling herself something new.

Three more months.

Until.

Until we move into the next stage of coparenting.

Before.

Before we move into another stage of what life is for us now.

For me.

Post. After. Next.

Three more months.

And then. It's over.

For good.

Tuesday, December 5, 2017

Intentions.


emotions, intentions, connections, friendship, relationship, support, community, life

We all do things with good intentions.

I started blogging for the month of November and fell a bit short.

I didn't feel horribly disappointed. Life got in the way. I did my best. And that has to be good enough. Right?

It happens sometimes.

We do our best.

We try.

We feel as though we fall short.

We watch others succeed and are SO FREAKING HAPPY FOR THEM.

And we insist that we're not experiencing the 'why not me?' feelings.

And that's true.

I believe that.

Monday, November 27, 2017

I Should Be Asleep But My Mind Won't Let Me

Image from Pexels

I'm not asleep.

I know. You already knew that.

Why introduce this post with such a simple, unnecessary statement?

I don't know. But here it is again.

I'm not asleep.

But my child is, and that's what matters most.

For the moment.

I'm sitting here like I'm 90 years old.

I literally just put some Icy Hot on my left knee.

I have no idea what the heck is wrong with it, but I probably slept funny.

And of course, I have an actual occasion this coming weekend and might even dance a step or two - and NOW I'm walking around smelling like my dad after he played ball all weekend.

Actually, he used Ben Gay more than Icy Hot - but it still makes me think of him.

Maybe that's why I'm still awake.

Saturday, November 25, 2017

Shopping Small With Two Of My Favorite Creators

jewelry, gorgeous designs, style, fashion, exquisite designs, winter warmth, hook smart, crocheted items, shop small, small business, women owned businesses, holiday shopping
image obtained for free from Pixabay

We all know what holiday shopping is like. We head to the malls and the big box stores and find ourselves exhausted and wishing we could pick up some Starbucks and head home to snuggle up on the couch and binge watch our favorite shows.

Just me?

I have been doing much of my shopping online for years. And every year I try to support small businesses, not just for Shop Small Saturday, or whatever it's actually called. But because I love supporting people as best I can - especially when they're friends!

Many of my friends have incredible talents. I'm sharing two of them with you here to help you support small businesses this holiday season.

Friday, November 24, 2017

The Perfect Holiday Saltine Toffee Treat

Hey, y'all. Here it is. 


I'm participating in this year's Houseful of Cookies event. 

There are some amazing sounding cookie recipes available for you. Seriously. After you check out mine you'll find a full list at the end of this post. 

But don't skip mine or I'll cry. Or something. 

#HousefulofCookies, Saltine Treat, cookies, holiday dessert, holiday gift, cookie crack, chocolate toffee treats, easy recipe

For this year's Houseful of Cookies I've got a recipe that's similar to what I shared last year. I'm honestly not sure which I prefer. I kind of love them both for different reasons.

And if you were around last year then you know that when it comes to holiday baking, I'm all about delicious and somewhat easy recipes. Honestly? The fewer ingredients the better - because I love keeping things simple. Like five ingredients kinda simple. [I'm including some affiliate links to these ingredients in case you want to buy them immediately!]

This recipe has been a family favorite for years and I know I'm going to have to hide them from myself for a bit or I'll find that I'm eating the entire batch.