Friday Free Write: Summer Writer's Block

Ugh. It stinks.

Summer Writer's Block.

I'm living it right now.

I have three posts in draft form in my batter's circle and I simply cannot push publish on any of them.

They just don't mesh with what I feel like saying or sharing right now.

One of them is a book list that's unfinished.

You'd be surprised at how much work book list posts are.

I know, I'm not trying to say oh-woe-is-me. I promise. I love talking books. Simply love it. But to make that beneficial to me and my site I need to really work hard at giving you more than a list of books or some pretty covers to look at.

Or do I? What do you like about book lists and recommendations?

It's been a while since I've done a book review. Possibly since before March. I've had a lot of stuff going on in my world and books have not been at the top of my list when it comes to things to talk about. I've written lists, whoa - how many times can I type the word list anyway?

This is definitely turning into more of a free-write kind of post. Which is fine. It's like Free Write Friday. Huh. Maybe I'm on to something? Are you in?

My daughter comes home today, y'all.

I cannot be happier.

I am already crying.

I've missed her so freaking much. And yes, for the first week or so you CAN remind me of this when I'm like, OMGAH, this child and yadda yadda.

But after that no. You cannot. Because I can love love love and miss my kid in the worst way and still struggle as a mom. And no shame there. We all do.

So, what's with adult acne, btw?

I'm not suffering horribly, but I don't understand why it's allowed to exist. Because when I break out and realize I'm forty-freaking-four? I get pissed. Cranky. Just plain annoyed.

And then I bust out all the products.

Well, not really. Because I work from home and haven't left the house much this week. Except for when my incredible friend Kate of Life of a Ginger took me to pick up my dogs from the vet where they were boarded while I went to the Postpartum Support International (PSI) Conference in Philly.

Whew. That's a mouthful of a sentence or two there.

Kate is pretty freaking amazing. She knows her stuff. Go say hi and tell her I sent you. You'll find some delicious looking recipes on her site. So. Yeah. Go forth and make all the things. (Especially the drinks, y'all. Seriously.)

I have another post in my drafts about some key takeaways from the PSI Conference. And even more importantly I had such an incredible time with 3/4 of the rest of my very own dream team. My colleagues and I spoke about self-disclosure and boundaries in both peer and clinical support. 

I'm damned proud of the work that we do. And the presentation that we gave. And the facilitating of the questions afterwards.

I also had an opportunity to work with Dr. Kat Kaeni who I simply adore. My goodness, you guys, if you ever meet someone whose spirit you simply FEEL when you hug them? Kat is that kind of woman. I kind of wish I lived in California so she could be my therapist. Ehem. That's awkward, though, because I also want to be her bestie and hang out w. her all the time.

Anyway, I just fell down the rabbit hole of researching all of the amazing clinicians I met and worked with and bonded with over the week/weekend in Philly, and so at this point I'm thinking I should wrap things up and actually hit publish on this post.

Hope you're all doing well. Hope you've got lots going on. And hope you're staying cool - because dang, friends, it's freaking hotter-n-heck here in NC this week. Chat soon!

Motherhood: They Hit The Soft Spots

Kids.

They hit the soft spots.

They don't mean to.

And yet. They. Just. Do.

They say these things and just hit exactly where it hurts - with no ill intentions - just the innocence of children.

As you know, my daughter is at grandparent camp.

I talk to her every day. Or, I should say, every night.

And she gets me every time.

She's doing great.

Having an incredible time.

Loving life.

But nighttime is tough for her.

It always has been.

And so, when she calls in the late hours of the evening - bedtime closing in on her (and me!) - she whispers into the phone.

"Mommy. I miss you."

"I can't sleep without you."

"I just can't do it."

Oof.

Soft spots.

If you've ever heard your child's voice on the other end of the phone, you know what I'm talking about. They almost always miss you. Even when they're having the time of their lives.

And when it comes to bedtime, I know she misses me.

It's easy to process when she's at her dad's place.

She and I talk for a little bit and I reassure her I'll see her the next afternoon, or within days. That helps. A little.

But I can't do that right now.

I need to reassure her that she's fine with her grandparents.

That her cousins will be back soon.

That her father will be there soon, too.

And that all will be normal again.

And that she'll see me in a few weeks.

But man.

It stings a little.

The tears on the other end of the line, on nights where I've already found myself curling under the blankets, or on top of them, holding on tightly to my own reminders that she'll be home soon.

Reminders that soon enough I'll be rolling my eyes and saying things like,

IT'S TIME FOR BED.

And ...

DID YOU BRUSH YOUR TEETH YET?

But for now?

I'll take a deep breath or ten.

I'll tell her I miss her, too. Always.

And that I'll see her soon.

And that I love her. Always.

Soft spots.

Every single time.

Summertime and the Livin' Ain't Easy

It's officially summer.

Ask me how I know.

It's not because of the higher than high temps.

North Carolina has had those for months now.

And it's not that big ole bright ball in the sky.

That thing comes and goes as it pleases.

But it's time to pack.

What To Bring To A Blog Conference

Let's be real - you're headed to your first blogging conference and you have 957 things on your mind. I hear you. I was you. I've been you. I even AM you.

It's not my first conference, I've been to several. And I've even written lists like this before.

So, you may be asking, why am I writing another one?

I don't know - likely because I need my own current packing list - and what better place to create one than on my own blog, right?

If you're like me and headed to BlogHer next week - you need to have a look at this list and determine which items apply to you - or interpret them in a way that works for you.

You may find some shopping links scattered throughout this post to help you purchase what you need asap. These are affiliate links and support Good Girl Gone Redneck, so thanks for using them!

It Comes Again

I am a girl without a father.

Father's Day is tomorrow and I am, currently, a girl without a father.

A woman, sure. But when I think of my dad I am and will always be a girl.

A young girl at that.

I had a father.

Don't get me wrong.

I had him for forty-one years of my life.