We love Halloween in our house. In fact, it's my favorite holiday. Plain and simple - pumpkins make me happy. They're fun to look at, fun to decorate with and - yes - fun to carve.
I had the amazing opportunity to work with Mr. Clean this October to host a Pumpkin Palooza party for our friends - and to have a little pumpkin fun ourselves while we were at it.
I decided before it was party time that my daughter and I would take a stab (pun intended!) at a few pumpkins on our own to see how they turned out - and to see how well Mr. Clean's Concentrated Multi-Surface Cleaner worked.
I spent some time using Mr. Clean around the house - but the real test would be how well the product worked post pumpkin mess and massacre.
Friday, October 30, 2015
Wednesday, October 28, 2015
This is 43.
Today is my birthday.
Today I turn 43.
Forty-three.
What did you imagine for yourself at 43-years-old?
What DO you imagine for yourself?
I don't think I ever thought this far ahead.
I never thought about life in my 40s.
I never thought I'd feel young or old.
I never stopped and gave thought to what my life would be like.
I was young. Restless. Foolish. Smart. Heartbroken. In love. Angry. Emotional.
I was all of these things.
Each one of them.
Regardless of the age I was. Regardless of where I was in my life.
I was each one of these things.
I still am. Now and then.
I was 8. My daughter's age. Do I even remember it? What did I think about then besides hanging out with my best friend and singing music at the top of our lungs. Did I do that then? Why isn't my child doing that now? Should she be? Has she made some of the friends she'll hold onto until she reaches her 40s? Forever friends? Looking back, it's hard to tell.
I was 13. Connecting with friends. Making new ones. At a new stage in life. Boys. Boys as friends. Silly crushes. Hidden dreams. Spiral notebooks as journals. I sat and I wrote.
I was 16. Crushes grew stronger. Feelings got hurt. Friends moved forward. New groups. New school. My Sweet 16 was the happiest day of my life. How little did I know then?
I was 18. Off to college. With my best friend. Was I truly branching out? Family drove to see me. Brought friends. Friends who came to visit. Surprise parties. College years. Emotions grew and I was weary. Why? Only 18. 19. 20? My 21st birthday came and went. I had already had my first drink. My second. My third. Friends. Surprises. Connections. People I'd hold onto for years to come.
I was 24. I spent the weeks before my birthday overseas with my boyfriend. Our time together eclipsed by the atmosphere. The surroundings. Was it love? Or was it London? Spain? Both? All of it? How little I knew. And yet ... how much I felt.
I was 29. About to be married. To a new love. A new friend. The man who held my heart. Closer to a new decade of life. Thirty. Tremendous. Huge. He surprised me with a dinner party. My family and closest friends were there. Thirty. We barely looked at the number.
I was 34. And I was a new mother. My daughter born in February - my birthday coming months later. Motherhood took hold and changed my world. The number didn't matter. Her world was just beginning. As was mine. Ours.
I was 41. Turning 41 without my father. How was that even possible? He - only 66 - gone. Spending time with my mother as we looked back on her memories of the day I was born. Forty-one. Years. Decades. How does one even consider what the next years will bring when one day can change everything in mere moments?
Forty-three.
I'm here.
Today.
This is 43.
I'm strong. I'm healthy. I'm working on myself.
I'm finally putting myself out there in ways I never would have before.
I'm writing more. And sharing those words.
I'm in print. Not my own whole giant book, but I'm there.
I have an author page on Amazon.
Forty-three.
There is so much more to come.
I plan to enjoy it all. All of it.
Even if - as I do - the tears fall as I remember years past. And I think of what's to come.
This.
This is 43.
Friday, October 23, 2015
Finding Fitness Fridays: Life After Whole30
You guys, I haven't been feeling it this week. I'm not sure exactly why, but I just haven't. And I know I have not done a Finding Fitness Friday post for a few weeks - so - yeah - so much for that series I was hoping to kickstart, right?
Anyway, if you've come to visit me this week you've already seen my Whole30 experience post. And if you haven't, go on, I'll wait. I've dropped a link right there for you to check out.
Monday, October 19, 2015
My Whole30 Experience
If you've been following me this past month or so you already know that I'm a newly crowned Whole30 alumni. Woo hoo! *Throws glitter everywhere*
And so I figured I'd update you all a little bit about my Whole30 experience and give you some insight to what the past two months (just about) have been like for me. I hope you'll stick around and let me know your thoughts.
And so I figured I'd update you all a little bit about my Whole30 experience and give you some insight to what the past two months (just about) have been like for me. I hope you'll stick around and let me know your thoughts.
Thursday, October 15, 2015
Book Review: The Magic Strings of Frankie Presto, Mitch Albom
Mitch Albom is an author I've read many times before. I'd wager a guess and say I've read almost all of his work - at the very least, a majority of his releases. So when I had the opportunity to review The Magic Strings of Frankie Presto for TLC Book Tours I jumped at the chance.
I hadn't read anything from him since two years ago, when he released The First Phone Call From Heaven. That, too, was a powerful book. An incredible read. Most of his stories are.
This one is no exception.
Monday, October 12, 2015
Two Whole Years. I Still Grieve.
Yesterday was the anniversary of the most horrible day I've experienced in my not quite 43 years of life. It was the anniversary of the day we lost my dad. And it sucked.
Grief is not something that has a timeline.
Grief is not something you can turn off when you feel like it.
Grief is not something that feels the same to all people.
Two whole years.
Two whole years without the man who was the first man I ever loved.
Two whole years without the man who held my hand when I needed him to.
Grief is not something that is completely relatable - because all loss is not the same.
Grief is not something that can simply fade away because you wish for it to.
Nor is it something that can be put on pause when you need a break.
Grief sucks.
Plain and simple.
It hurts.
It rips you raw.
It pains you to your very soul.
Loss is not something that one heals from immediately.
There is no timeline - so remind yourself that it's okay to feel no matter how many years have gone by.
Two whole years without my father isn't something I can blink at and move past in minutes.
I miss him.
I want him back.
I want to know why. Why did this happen? Why was it his time to go?
What can I do to bring him back?
Have you ever lost someone and had that thought? That sentiment of wishing and hoping and making a deal with pretty much any higher power who will listen to you?
Whether it's for your parent, your child, a spouse, a grandparent - whoever you grieve for - I'm here to tell you you're not alone. Although our losses are not the same, our pain is not precise, and our hearts will heal differently - you're still not alone.
I'm here.
I'm here.
Smiling and making funny faces in selfies with my daughter.
Blinking back tears behind sunglasses as I walk around my neighborhood.
Taking a deep breath when I hear that certain song.
As I sit here typing I'm cracking open pistachios with my teeth. They remind me of my father.
There are so many things.
No one loss is like any other.
No one loss is greater than any other.
Loss is loss is loss. But they're not all the same.
It's been two whole years.
I still grieve.
My father's been gone for two years. I still want to pick up the phone and call him when I make sweet potatoes or chicken soup. I still want to talk to him about the Mets and the Giants. I still want to do all the things I can't do anymore.
It's been two whole years.
I still grieve.
I'm pretty sure I'll never stop.
And that's okay.
Honest. It is. It's okay. Because to stop would be to forget. And I never want to forget.
Grief is not something that has a timeline.
If you have suffered a loss of a loved one, remind yourself of this always.
It won't make things better. It won't ease the pain. But it will help somehow.
It will make it okay - even when others might make it seem like it is not.
Even when the words of love and support dwindle because another year has gone by.
Even when others don't seem to want to hear it.
You can keep talking.
Keep feeling.
Keep holding on.
It's been two whole years and I still grieve.
Miss you, Daddy.
Tuesday, October 6, 2015
Book of the Week: BabyFat, Pauline Campos
So. Where was I? Telling you about my friend - right? Anyway, when the opportunity came for me to be one of her advanced readers and book reviewers - I kinda' jumped at it. And yes, when you're friends with someone it's a tricky step to take.
What if you don't like their work? What if you're a little iffy on the content or the tone? What if ... what if ... what if?
I felt pretty confident that Pauline's work wouldn't be an issue. I had a strong feeling I'd enjoy it. And knew if I had any problems with any of it that I could tell her. She's just like that.
And so, I dove in. And read. And read some more. And suddenly I was finished reading.
BabyFat is the kind of read you really do dive into.
Monday, October 5, 2015
Five Books You Should Be Reading Right Now
You know me. You know I can't stop reading. I'm close to the 50 books mark for 2015, which doesn't leave me much hope of hitting 100 this year, but I'll continue to try.
In the meantime, I have a few books I'd like to recommend that I haven't discussed with you yet. And I decided that it's time to direct you to some incredible reads.
So, here goes. These are some books you need to be reading right now.
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