Tuesday, April 16, 2013

I need my bed.

Today wasn't a very long day, but it ultimately turned out to be a draining one.

Anyone who is anyone knows what happened in Boston and damned if I know where to begin with what I might feel the need to say here.

I had a whole post written about things.

Things that seem pretty irrelevant tonight as I sit here watching my Twitter stream go by - retweets of amazing efforts of Boston's PD/FD and more.

Explosions, people. Effing explosions.

I mean. What? The? HELL?

I could use worse wording there, but I'm trying to stay nice enough.

But seriously, people. What the EFF? YOU? SEE? KAY?

You feel me, right?

My brother-in-law and nieces and nephew just HAPPENED to be in Boston today at Fenway. Fabulous, right? First thing that came to my mind? How the hell close is Fenway to the finish line? I Facebooked him - yes that is so totally a verb - and heard back within moments. All well. Thank goodness.

Then I thought of my friend Carla (not her real name, but that's what I call her, and not just for this post) who lives in the MA and Boston area. She's a runner, too. I know she has run big races before. Even done so with her son. Her young son. Really young. Hell. I popped onto her timeline and noticed people checking in - waiting for word - it appeared her husband was to be running today. Fantastic. I'd have to wait a while, but fortunately their whole family is safe. Thank goodness again.

Twitter is a mine field. Facebook isn't that much better. But for some reason Twitter makes me want to click more. Draws me in in those 140 characters and half-disappearing links.

What? What's that about? I ask, I think, I click.

Hell no. I did NOT want to see that. Dayum.

I kept the television OFF. My 6-year old did not need to see those images.

My husband came home and turned it on. ON.

No. Nope. Not me. I watched and listened to the president speak.

Then I walked away. Drowned out the sound as best I could.

See - those images? Surprisingly or not? Triggered too many memories. 9/11 flashed into my mind in a heartbeat. SO completely different. I know it. I feel it. But still.

Two bombs. Two explosions. Just like two planes. No thank you.

Smoky streets. Police officers. Firemen. Leading people. Carrying people. Protecting people. Yep. I know. I've seen it before.

Instant flinch when those cameras showed people feeling their way through the smoke. Nope. No thank you. I'll think and I'll hope and I might cry and maybe I'll pray. But I won't watch. I can't. That instant. Those images? I already can't shake them and I saw about 30-50 seconds of them. It was already too much.

All of this sucks. I wish it hadn't happened. I hope it never happens again. I hope the bastards who did this pay for what they have done. Because I feel it. They're pushing. Trying. Shoving themselves across the line. Assuming this IS what everyone seems to be thinking it is. And I'll be damned if I'm accepting that bs.

I'm a mom now. 2001 is a long ways back in my world. I have new, beautiful and different priorities these days. And I really don't want to have to keep explaining to her about explosions caused by bad guys. Because the only bad guys she should be thinking about should be on the shows and movies she watches. And even then we might consider filtering them out. Not often, she's not a super-sensitive kid that way. But still ... we know what she's watching and what's coming her way.

Moms and dads know, need to know, and act accordingly.

These exploding bastards - they need to step off. America is not playing this game.

At all.

Because we may move forward, be strong, feel roughed up and tossed around a bit. But we never. Ever.



And we never will.

* Obviously we do not know the cause, the people, the reasoning behind today's events at this time. And I'm not pointing fingers. Not presuming. Not really assuming, either. But those bombs? They didn't get there all by themselves. And these are bad guys. Girls. People. Whatever. They're bad - the ones who put them there. And they're attacking and hurting people. And that sucks. And they should not get away with it. Justice for all and all that comes with it. Maybe I'm wrong turning this into a bit of a patriotic rant, but it is (was) Patriot's Day today, right? That should mean something. And so I did. I have. I am tossing it all out there. Just because this is my space and I can.

Stay safe, my sweet friends. Wishing you all the sweetest of dreams. Cuddle with your wee ones as often as you can. Remind yourself of the good. The sweet. The love.


  1. Oh Andrea. :( We cannot imagine what it must have been like yesterday to relive the fear that you know PERSONALLY from 2001. You wrote this so well and said far better than anything we have yet read exactly what we have been thinking and feeling about how horrific this event was. Please know we are thinking of you, so thankful your family and friends are safe and wishing for you some peace as you try to regroup those memories. Hugs, friend.-The Dose Girls

  2. I wish I could give you a big hug right now.

    I will never forget.

  3. I am drained by reading the news and listening and looking at photos and all. I was so sad yesterday, I walked around in a daze all day. I cannot believe someone would actually want to destroy such a great event. There weren't even any big politicians or public figures there! Why hurt so many innocent people? But then again, the same could be said of 911 - the attack to a symbol, to everyday people, to something that will make people scared and ruins something that is a source of motivation and inspiration to many. Evil. Just evil.

    Glad everyone you know is safe! My thoughts are with all those who were hurt or lost someone :-(

  4. Such a nightmare. We were in Denver at the Lifesavers Conference when we started seeing it on Twitter, but we were 10 bloggers amongst a sea of non-tech professionals. Some got alerts because they're in law enforcement, but so many didn't know. The rest of the sessions that day? We spent scouring Twitter and the web for reliable updates. The differences in information out there were amazing, BUT I'm glad I didn't watch on tv or click on photos/videos. I'm sick enough as it is...

    SO glad your friends are ok, regardless!

  5. Such a beautiful and heartfelt post! Big hugs to you..Big hugs to Boston!

    I was in NYC for 09/11 and walked home 150 blocks -had blisters, was starving and scared...! I know how it feels....



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