Wednesday, June 19, 2013

Seven. It's coming.



I'm all over the map this morning.

Probably because my daughter woke up before I did. Before my husband did.

And last night when I told him I was going to wake her up earlier this AM to help her get to bed earlier I did not mean QUITE THIS EARLY.

I actually meant like right now early. (He's been gone over an hour. She was up before us both, playing in our room and traumatizing one of the dogs as she played with one of the cats. Oy.)

I've put a laundry in. Need to unload the dishwasher. And refill it again. Do these things EVER find themselves empty? No? No. I didn't think so.

So my daughter finished Kindergarten a few weeks ago. I'm not sure why I write it with a capital K. I just do. It's amazing that one year of school is down. It's amazing that her next birthday (granted, it's not until February, but still ...) she will turn seven.

Seven!

I got my ears pierced when I was seven. I've always said that *maybe* that would be a good time for her to get hers done, too.

But then when seven shows up - peeking through the windows and knocking down doors? - WHAT?

Where did my baby go?

I'm not truly feeling crazy with emotion about the end of K. Maybe because they didn't have a graduation or a stepping up ceremony or anything like that?

They did have a small K field day. Which is not to be confused with their full school field day(s). We (the husband and I) went to that for a few hours. The K-specific one. It was interesting. Confusing. And fun for the kids.

I'm not sure why I'm stuck in K mode right now. My mentality should have wrapped that up already, no? I've actually recapped it twice. I've stocked up on wine for the summer. And I've recapped with Kindergarten survival stories. And we're good. It's all good.

And the summer lays straight ahead. We're already off to a great start. Several boat rides under our belts, AND we got her her first belt! It's pretty and sparkly and she loves it. Me? I loathe belts. But she's excited, so I am, too. I went up a size. Or a something. So she would have it for a while. Why is it that moms hope they'll have things for years and yet we know they're going to grow bored or frustrated or not in the mood for it in the coming years anyway and we just say, it's okay, we want it to last? I'm not the only one who says/thinks stuff like that, right?

I feel like I'm not done with this post. I have so much more to say today, and yet my mind is either two steps behind me, or maybe ahead? I'm already writing something else. Already looking for words. Beauty. Emotions. Thoughts. Dreams.

My heart carries so much. Carries hers deep within itself.

I'm trying really hard to be a great mom this summer. I'm lacking in so many things. I'm not driving yet and the guilt is heavy on my soul. It's only the second week. There is so much more time ahead. So many plans. So much to do. To see. To be.

And I feel stuck already. Trying to hold onto the summer of six.

Because seven.

Seven.

It's coming.


11 comments:

Tracie Nall said...

I think seven was the year when I really start to feel like the whole growing up thing was really ON. So I get this. The thoughts of seven coming. The frustration and guilt of being a non-driving mom.

But what I love about this post, is this line, "My heart carries so much. Carries hers deep within itself." It is beautiful. You are beautiful. Your heart is beautiful. And it shines through your words, off my screen, and into my heart this morning.

Tracy@CrazyAsNormal said...

It's crazy - our boys our now in middle school and watching them grow up I never had one of those "Oh my gosh!" moments about them growing. Our daughter on the other hand...she'll be in the 3rd grade. I still can't fathom it. At all.

The Dose of Reality said...

Bawling. So beautiful Andrea. I think you will find seven to be wonderful...I enjoyed that age very much. Love this post.-Ashley

Sorta Southern Single Mom said...

You aren't stuck, you are savoring 6 and next year you will savor 7.

Michelle said...

I got my ear pierced when I was 7, too. My dad threatened to glue the holes closed. Sucker.

You've got a ton going on, and summer is always so chaotic, isn't it? I got a real feel of that from your post but umm no driving? What did I miss!?

Shell said...

My middle son just turned 7. And I find myself thinking he's still 5... then I go wait, he's 6... and then I think he's SEVEN???? How can be? He should still be 5. But my youngest is 5. SIGH. It all goes fast.

Michelle Nahom said...

Visiting from the SITSSharefest although I have been here before! Seven is so sweet but I am with you, where does the time go? I am looking at almost 16 in less than a week. I can remember baby and toddler days and they don't seem that long ago! Enjoy it!

Rabia Lieber said...

My youngest is three. Strange thing is: I've never been able to say that before, because by the time one was three, we had another one. Not this time. And somehow that makes three bittersweet. I feel ya!

Kimberly said...

Each birthday is hard...and the thinking of the next...gah...I totally understand. I'm going to cry when I pick up my son on the last day of Junior Kindergarten (see I used caps too).
Watching them grow is amazing yet so bittersweet.
You have all this summer ahead of you to soak her 6 years all up.

Laurie said...

Okay, so now I'm feeling totally OLD!!! I don't even remember when my kids were seven. Maybe they weren't. Maybe they've always been adults. No wait, they were, because I still miss those days...I love the adults that my kids have become but those days of wishing the kids would sleep just a little longer haunt me and bring me comfort. Good post!
PS...I also feel comfort from blogger! I just moved to word press and have been working all day to figure it all out!

a ji o ji suno ji said...

My dachshund won't wear a sweater, but maybe a cape...that is too cute.
English Bulldog Puppies

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