Right now this is what is happening in my house. My four-year-old child is saying, repeatedly:
"Bella. Bella. Bella. Come here, Bella. Bella. Bella. Bella."
I turn around. She (my child) is hiding under Dexter's blanket. Bella (younger dog, new to the family) is looking around like, 'What on earth is wrong with this random human? Why is she hiding her head and face from me?'
Good morning, bloggy friends.
I have already had a bit of a morning, in that I went to the doctor for my check-in/check-up type of appointment today. I met the new doc, and decided she kind of reminds me of my younger cousin I don't talk to anymore, only not *quite* as flighty. Which isn't to say she is or isn't, as I don't know her well enough to know. But she is a dead ringer, honestly, and that freaks me out just a little bit.
And I went into talk to her about my anxiety meds. Which is a good thing. She's good with giving me my 3 month refill when I'm ready, so that's good. And all will be well this holiday season. Or something.
But yeah, she also talked to me about my weight. I brought it up, explaining that I know I've put on a few pounds (had some other medical-related-matters to address that I think brought that on) and her response was: You can start today.
She's right, you know? I mean, I know. I know I can, should, will want to. Even probably WILL start today. But then what? What happens tomorrow? How does one make sure that movement - REAL movement - beyond a walk or two - the kind where you break a sweat - - how does a stay-at-home-mom of a 4-year-old girl (so many dashes, sometimes I'm addicted to them) get moving to the point that she sees the scale go down?
Food matters, too, of course. I know that. I'm a 39 year old woman. No dashes required. I'm 39. I didn't get to 39 without knowing that eating right and exercise help you lose weight. So how do I DO that? Why can't I do it? What helps me do it? When last week we got our second dog and we took a 2 mile walk and I did really well, and I felt good, really good, and then we walked and ran and played fetch and did lots of stuff this weekend and past week - and the scale doesn't/didn't move. How do I get past that? When there's nothing medically wrong with me? When I kind of wish it was something a pill could help? That's bad, I know. I really DON'T wish that. But what to do and how?
I write about this often around here. I re-motivate myself and feel ready to go. DO! GO! YES! And then what? I flop and fail. Sigh.
I suppose I just begin again.
What about you? How do you fit it all in? How do you make it a critical effort when you know it's needed? How do you accept yourself for who you are and work to change yourself at the same time? Is that even allowed? I mean, it should be. It HAS to be, right?
I'll think about it. I'll ponder. And hopefully I'll DO.
Thanks for *listening* ...