Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Confessions: Part III.



I pretty much have a hate-hate relationship with the scale. No, not just my scale. Honestly, ANY scale. For the longest time I didn't have a scale in my home, because I had found a way to move past my obsession with weighing myself. I would walk into the bathroom and want to step on the scale. Normal? No. But more common than you think.

Then, last January (2009) I joined a Biggest Loser contest with my local mommies group. And I needed a scale for weekly weigh-ins. Did I want to get one? No. Did I? Yes.


And for a while I'd weigh myself weekly and it would be the norm. A pound or two gained. A pound or two lost. So on and so forth. From January to April I lost about 10 lbs. Since then I have been involved in the same contest this year (2010) and sadly, didn't have much of a change. I also lost motivation somewhere along the way, and although I tend to weigh myself weekly, I also tend to get more discouraged each time I step on the scale.


I hate having that number as a motivating factor. I mean, I get it. I know why it is important, but at the same time, I fear falling into that old pattern of verifying my being by stepping on the scale each morning. So I tried something about a week ago that was a small reminder of how things used to be, and an even more important reminder of how fickle the scale can be, and why it's not always as important as I tend to think it is.


See, I'm technically considered obese. Do I like that? No. Do I feel that? Sometimes. Am I overweight? Absolutely. Do I want to do something to change it? Sometimes yes. Sometimes no. I want to be healthy. I want to feel good. I want to be strong, powerful, and me. I also would love to be thinner. Am I motivated enough to make it happen? Not nearly as motivated as I'd like to be, as I could be, and heck, maybe as I should be. But I need to remind myself I'm only human. I'm me. I need to be me, Somehow I'll get to where I'm going. I don't know when, don't know how. But I need to recognize that numbers on a small battery-operated square do not constitute all of who I am.


And, now, for my experiment. Last week I did weigh myself daily. (Gasp! I know. It scared me, too!) And look at what happened:


August 10: +5.8lbs after vacation (yikes!) and what turned out to be pms-time (double yikes!)

August 11: -0.2lbs

August 12: -1.2lbs

August 13: -0.6lbs

August 14: +1.6lbs


What does all of that mean? Well, not much. It just goes to show that within 5 days my body weight can fluctuate like you'd never guess it would be. I mean, did I really gain 1.6 lbs overnight? Probably not. Was it around that time of the month? Sure. Did I eat something crazy salty? Sure, why not? Point being? Our bodies may have a standard weight, and we're bound to notice that weight varies depending on the moment we step on that scale. Is it consistent? I don't know. I can step on four times in a given morning and weigh between 1-4 pounds different then when I first stepped on. Point taken. Just goes to show that the scale is not the only way to monitor your well-being. And sometimes it's OK to say SHOVE IT! and move ahead, on your own, simply being you.


7 comments:

  1. Thanks for sharing! I feel the exact same way. There are times we just have to say shove it! The scale doesn't define us. I've know so many people who have thrown it out completely. I'm not there yet!

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  2. Thanks for stopping by my blog (The Futuure Starts Now) and leaving some love :)

    I used to do the same thing with my scale, weighing way too often. Thankfully it broke ha!!

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  3. so true..a scale measures nothing but mass...use your mind as a guide..sometimes if my weight is down I feel better than when it was higher...there are so many factors..Hope all is well ...!

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  4. I don't have a scale. Why? Because that number fluctuating can send me into a tailspin. Even though there could be valid reasons for a gain- like that time of the month or the time of day or whatever. But, it affects my whole mood. So, I don't use it. As long as my clothes are fitting well, then I try not to think about what my number is.

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  5. Oh honey BTDT!
    I am happy to say my scale is currently lost in storage somewhere because I was an obsessive daily weigher. I would see those numbers jump all over the place daily. Gave me a complex.

    Now I'm even more screwed since my pants are just too damn tight. I don't need a scale to tell me what that means.

    I'm screwed.

    Eh. Fat and happy.. That is the look i'm going for!

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  6. This was so well said. Weight is a tricky thing...I know my weight fluctuates a lot, too. 1-5 pounds, usually. I guess that's probably normal!

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  7. These fluctuations are normal, so actually weighing in once a week might be more helpful....I also go by the way my clothes fit. I always know when things are feeling tight it's time to reign myself in...

    Well written, Andrea. And we can all relate!

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