Monday, May 28, 2018

Sinking.


Some days it feels like we're all simply sinking.

Holding our heads above water is nearly impossible.

The rain falls at the same time.

Hail hits the top of our heads.

We reach out, and there's nobody there.

We fall under.

Down.

Down.

The water covers us.

We open our eyes and look around.

We look above us.

We belong up there.

And so we break through the surface.

And we look around.

But some days.

Above the surface.

We take a deep breath.

And dive back down.

Because some days ...

Fighting doesn't feel worth it.

Some days ...

We lack the energy.

We want the water to carry us.

To wherever we're going next.

To whatever comes our way.

To whatever we can't see in front of us.

Not down, necessarily.

Forward.

But not up, either.

Up is too damned hard some days.

We feel like we need to float.

We know we can only do that on the surface.

And so, we need to decide.

What to do next?

Because some days ...

We feel like we're sinking.

And we're just too tired to swim.

** I feel as though I need to include a disclaimer here. I wrote this a few days ago. I had made it through a rough day, and I'd seen many friends going through the same. Our political climate is a hotbed of disasters, and our friends and loved ones often fight the unexpected, and it's exhausting. So. Please know I am okay. And many of my loved ones are okay, as well. But some days. We all feel it. This hold. The pulling of the water that surrounds us. And it sucks. But we find our way. But we also know that some days, well, we just want to try to float, sink a bit, sink a bit further, and then, then we decide to swim again. Maybe not that same day. Maybe not the next. But we keep swimming. Or we grab hold of someone who is. Or a floatation device that will hold us up. Because we're worth it. Each of us. Always. ** 

2 comments:

  1. That's when you cling to a lifeboat. A lifeboat can be many things: friends, family, faith, a mantra, staying bed all day, reading a book, retail therapy (within reason--don't go into debt), self-care, whatever you need to get you to the next day.

    denise

    Would you believe I didn't even see the disclaimer until I was done writing this, and then floatation device caught my eye?

    ReplyDelete
  2. I forgot to add chocolate! or whatever your guilty food pleasure may be.

    ReplyDelete

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