Saturday, December 24, 2011

My letter to Mr. C.

Dear Santa,

Happy holidays to you! I hope you and the Mrs. are doing well. I've been thinking about you lately. You're all the rage down here in NC. And though my daughter hasn't written you a letter of her own, thanks for writing to her and teaching her to be nice. Though for my $6 you could have threatened the coal, I mean, that's what the season is all about, right?

Honestly - I'm kidding. The other night when she told me to leave her alone - and she did actually correct herself and add a please to it - she came in bawling after saying "I don't want this to happen," and the primary worry was not being rude to me, but that you - the big man - would put coal in her stocking, well, let's just say I found it interesting. Now, I haven't tried that at all, but I'm guessing she learned on TV (see my previous post and all of the DVRd things I have that surely relate to you) or my husband mentioned it when I wasn't around. Though that would only have been a brief window when I was in class a few weeks ago, but hey, it happens, right?

Anyway, back to me. That is what this letter is supposed to be about.

I've been as good a girl as I could be this year, Santa. It's been a rough one, but I guess it always is that way for most of us. Early this year my mom's best friend passed away, and that royally sucked. I realize how hard the season must be for my mom as her like-a-sister isn't here to pretend not to celebrate with. I thank heavens my parents are healthy. I'm blessed and because of that I honestly won't ask for much. It's actually my family I wish you'd take care of. Pull some strings and see what you can do to get my parents a windfall of sorts. Send my brother and sister-in-law and my niece on a trip or something wonderful like that. Can you do that for me? Nah - I didn't think so. I want to believe in you, Santa, but all those years of growing up without you does make that ever so slightly difficult.

But I bet you're wondering what you can do for me? Most of the letters you receive probably cover that sort of thing. Well, short of a copy of Bridesmaids (which I'll buy for myself, so you really don't have to worry) I'm pretty much set. A vacation would rock. But that would be for my husband and myself. I'd love to take our kid on one, too, so I guess I'm asking for two. But again - not quite sure I think you'll be able to take care of those for us. So, yeah - I get it. I don't want to stress you out a little over 24 hours before your big night. Actually, I'm writing this early, but won't post til tomorrow. So it'll be really last minute, so don't worry, okay?

Just travel safely. And if you have an extra massage therapist, cabana boy or George Clooney to stuff into my stocking - you go for it. I can promise you that my husband won't mind!
Oh, and so as not to leave out people he and I would both appreciate, a chef, a house-cleaner, a chauffeur, or whatever else you can think of would not be turned away.

Thanks so much, Santa. And please don't forget to give a little extra something to Mrs. C. We all know that the woman behind the man is critical to his success, and you're no exception.

Merry Christmanukah to you both! Much Love,


  1. Maybe Santa to leave a copy of "How to give your wife a massage like a professional" under the tree.

  2. You are freakin' awesome! Yo are so altruistic and adorable. I love you from here to the moon! We'll figure out Triberr in the New year! Hugs to the fam, with a special squeeze to you!

  3. I hope you got some of your Christmas wishes!

  4. Wonderful wishes! I hope you and your family are having a wonderful Christmanukah!


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