One Match.

I have so many things I should be writing about - and a handful of book reviews I need to get done - and yet, I can't seem to think about anything else but the people in my world who move me.

The people in my world who move mountains.

I have friends. Family members. Sisters. Loved ones.

Each of them creates their own story.

Each lives through the highs and faces the lows.

Fights the good fight.

Parents their child(ren) with full hearts and minds.

Loves their partner with their whole being.

Recognizes that how they identify themselves impacts their child(ren) - today, tomorrow and in years to come.

These friends - these people - they are amazing. Powerful. Strong.

They're family. Friends. Loved ones.

They're people who move me beyond words. And yet - with these words - I try to describe the feeling anyway.

These are the people in my world who need but one match to make the change they're hoping for. They speak freely. They host conferences. Speak at them. Discuss business. Blogging. Health. Wellness. Emotions. Mental health. Pregnancy. Loss. Love. Grief.

These individuals in my world make up an entity I'm blessed to be a part of.

For I, too, might only have one match.

But I can make an explosion.

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Guest Post: DJ Kate - Keepin' It Real and Being Brave

My friend Kate is joining me today to talk about something that's more than relevant for so many of us. And if it doesn't impact us directly, it certainly has impacted someone we know and love with our entire heart. 

She's talking about Breast Cancer. Breast Cancer is way more than the pink-washing that so many people think it is. It's more than just wearing ribbons and walking for the "cure". It's about the many women and men (yes, men get breast cancer, too) who fight the good fight and battle hard to beat this disease. 

And in discussing this Kate would like to talk to us about the many bravely labeled celebrities with Breast Cancer. Sure. These individuals are brave. No doubt about it. They battle as hard as the general population do. But Kate wants us to know more. 

That said, I introduce you to Kate and I ask that you stay with her til the end here. 

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Help Light The Night For Kids with Cancer! #LLSLTN

* This post is a part of the Light The Night campaign. I have been hired as an ambassador for this campaign. All expressed content in this post is strictly my own. * 

Have you heard of Light The Night? It's an event that is coordinated by the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society (LLS) in support of raising money to help eradicate cancer. More specifically, blood cancers.

One aspect of this campaign is maintaining a focus on children's cancers. LLS states that Leukemia is the most common cancer impacting children and adolescents aged 20 and younger.

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Prepare Your Kids for Summer Camp with Minute Clinic

*This post is a sponsored post on behalf of Minute Clinic. All opinions expressed are strictly my own.*

Whether your kids are staying close to home this summer or planning to sleep away at camp for a few days, Minute Clinic has both, great tips AND a great deal for you. Keep reading to find out more!

Our kids are always on the go. Always moving. Always running. There are few exceptions. Camp will surely not be one of them. It's important to keep in mind, whether we're with them or we're not, a good handful of things we can do to keep them safe.

A few of them that are always at the top of my mind and are also recommended by Minute Clinic are:

SUNSCREEN
* Outdoor play is a blast. Whether they're swimming, at the playground, playing sports or playing in the sand our little ones need coverage. Sunscreen is a MUST. It's essential. Think about it - think of how many years we've lathered ourselves up with coverage to ensure that we didn't burn and find ourselves soaking in a bath of witch hazel and aloe by day's end. Our little ones need that even more than we do. As with everything else, they need us looking out for them to ensure that they don't get hurt. Don't skimp on the sunscreen. A few of my favorites come in stick form - some actually come in foam now! - and it's no lie that I have personally been using Coppertone Water Babies since my 20s. It's not just for kids.

HATS
* A wide-brimmed hat is best for our kids when they're out in the sun. It shields their scalps and their faces in a way that other head gear won't do. Baseball caps work in a pinch, as well. If you don't have a hat go back to the first recommendation and spray some sunscreen on their scalp and the part of their hair. Sunburn on the head is awful and we can protect them from it.

SUNGLASSES
* My eye doctor told me that kids need sunglasses even more than adults do. Their eyes are extra-sensitive to the sun's rays and a shield against them is a must.

SAFETY GEAR
* Water safety seems a given. If your children cannot swim, get them the gear they need to keep them safe on the water. Life jackets (a MUST for kids when out boating), puddle jumpers, backpack floaties. Personally, I'd stay away from water wings, because they just don't seem safe enough. They don't stay on and they won't really keep your baby afloat unless you're holding them up right in front of them. Look into Coast Guard approved gear and put your mind at ease.

* Biking safety is beyond a given. Be sure that if your kids are anywhere where there will be bikes that they have a helmet that fits them well. I see so many kids rolling around the neighborhood helmet-free and it freaks me out. It's not how we grew up, but it's so important and really easy to ensure they wear.

* Playground safety is something I think about everyday. My daughter's class has recess outside and they have some pretty awesome play structures. It's important that our kids have the right kind of shoes for playtime at the playground. Flip flops and sandals and even "croc-like" shoes aren't the best. Your best choice is a pair of sneakers. (What do you call them where you live? I've heard everything from tennis shoes to my personal favorite, kicks!) Admittedly I am not always one to enforce this rule, but I do make sure flip flops and open-toed shoes are a no-go for the playground. See the picture below for my own confession ...

And please,  be sure your bigger children are aware of little ones. While it's not your responsibility to take care of someone else's child, it IS your responsibility to teach your child(ren) proper playground behaviors.

There are so many things to consider when sending our children off to camp that these basic, everyday rules-of-thumb will do you well as you pack your little ones up and get them on the bus - whether it's for a day or a week or a month - it'll set your mind at ease if you have reviewed these topics with them in advance.

Minute Clinic wants to help you ensure that your child is at his/her healthiest and gets off to camp okay. Click through to a $20 off camp and sports physical coupon for the Minute Clinic at your local CVS.

And to keep up with Minute Clinic and receive regular tips on summer safety, follow them @MinuteClinic on Twitter.

*This post is a sponsored post on behalf of Minute Clinic. All opinions expressed are strictly my own.*

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I'm trying to stay in the Zone.

* I received a variety of ZonePerfect bars as a participant in this challenge. I am not being compensated for this post and all expressed opinions are completely my own. *

If you have been reading me for a while you know that I struggle left and right with fitness, motivation and inspiration. You also might have seen that I started participating in the Blog Forward Challenge with ZonePerfect earlier this year.

Admittedly, I struggled through much of March with some traveling and some illness and then with the weather in the earlier months, sigh, excuses excuses. I'm getting back on track and I went for a really long walk the other day with a friend and am finally feeling like moving matters again.

I set some goals back in January. I set them again now, in April. I have lost some weight, and that's great. I'm back to tracking myself on MyFitnessPal and I find that it's helping. But I really need to do more. I need to bust out the sweats and find myself moving regularly. I need to consciously uncouple myself from emotional eating. *Come on, I HAD to.*

I need to remind myself that I have a Fitbit zip I could wear regularly and count all the steps I take every single day. Or I could turn around and get myself one to wear on my wrist so I can feel like I'm more motivated and more involved in my own health. More aware. Whatever it takes.

I was in Disney World last weekend for Type-A Parent Bootcamp and I walked A LOT. I felt really good about that. I ate a lot, too, but I could have done a lot worse. I actually didn't feel bloated or swollen or anything I usually experience when I fly. So I'm thinking the walking was a huge help. I even brought my Brooks kicks and wore them throughout Magic Kingdom on Saturday night. So I wasn't messing around.

And a huge bonus was that these ZonePerfect bars arrived before I left! So I was able to bring a bag of them with me and find a new favorite.

The Chocolate Almond Raisin bar is AMAZING. Seriously. I need to find a box of them and fast. I'm hoping I stumble across them soon. And if you want, you can sign up to be a ZonePerfect VIP and grab yourself about $10 worth in coupons (which will be emailed to you over the course of the coming year) for your own shopping experience.

ZonePerfect is also hoping to keep me charged in other ways throughout the coming months. They've sent me a portable phone charger, along with one to give away to one of my readers. So leave me a comment below with a flavor of ZonePerfect bar that you'd like to try and you'll be entered to win.

And if you're looking to swap out your sweetened beverages for something a little healthier, check out this graphic for more tips. I've started off by either completely eliminating sweet tea from my intake, or at the very least if I really am itching for it I do a half-and-half and go half sweet and half unsweetened. Sometimes it takes baby steps, but whatever works will get me closer to my goal.

I hope you'll stick with me as I make my way through this challenge and that you'll keep me posted if you are doing healthier things for yourself, as well. Any tips we can share will be great ones, I'm sure. Looking forward to connecting with you and finding my fitspiration from you all.

* I received a variety of bars from ZonePerfect as a participant in this challenge. I also received a portable phone charger for myself and one to give away to a reader. I was not compensated in any way for this post and all expressed opinions are strictly my own. *

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Rainy morning recap.

It's raining.
It's pouring.
The old man is snoring.

I am not.

Not right now, anyway.

This might be the first Saturday in a few weeks I am actually awake at a normal hour.

I've been sick for a bit. A long bit. I'm doing better, so that's a good thing. A very good thing.

I'm having trouble titling this post. It's a sort of recap, but I'm also looking ahead. So there's that.

Is rainy morning recap something that works?

Do you have trouble coming up with titles for your blog posts?

I find it might be the worst part. Seriously.

So here's some recap for you, that looks ahead a bit, too.

Recap

This week I was lucky enough to receive a page critique from Melissa at Momcomm. She pointed out to me that my links become TEENY TINY and I totally agree. Seriously tiny. I'm not sure I know how to fix that, though. I need to do some digging so do me a favor and let me know when you notice that they're better, m'kay?

And check out her page critique for me and let me know what you think. Any extra input to offer? Ideas? Questions? I've got an in with Melissa, I can ask her for you if you're too shy to ask yourself!

Also, do you remember that I'm doing a weight loss challenge? If not, no worries. I'm always talking weight loss and fitness, so you're bound to be confused. It's all good.

Anyway, I'm working at it. And this week I did better. Though I'm not sure if it's because I was so sick I was unable to really eat anything, or what, exactly. So we'll see at Tuesday AM's weigh-in. I also fasted on Wednesday, but I think I made up for that on Thursday and Friday, which is also a part of why I think I'm going to try to make a switch where eating is concerned. Keep reading and you'll find out how!

Coming soon!

I've got a huge batch of coupons for Frush products. Do you remember my review? They're pretty good. My daughter loves them. I've got $1 off any two FRUSH smoothies and usually they're 1.99/each at our local grocery. Sometimes I can find them on sale for 2 for $3, and then the $1 off makes them a buck apiece. Which is a decent deal. Stay tuned for that post, or let me know if you're interested here. First come first serve and all.

I've got some more book reviews coming up. Have you seen my last two?

The Unfinished Garden ~ the author commented! The author commented! The Author Commented!

and Sharp ~  an intense read.  Definitely. Written by David Fitzpatrick.

I'm also going G-free. For two weeks. I'm looking for gluten-free recipes, blogs, guest posters, etc. I've got myself involved in the Udi's 14-day G-free challenge. I'll fill you in on more once I know what the heck I am doing. Stay tuned, y'all. This should be interesting.

So - what's up for you peeps? Share your favorite posts of the week, whether they're your own or someone else's. I want to be totally and completely filled in! Go!

And stay dry - or warm - or cool - or whatever! And work up a sweat as best you can. Gotta get movin!

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Trying to breathe

My house is closing in on me.

Whenever I think I'm catching up I notice that I'm totally not.

I know I should step away from the computer and clear yet another surface, but when I look at them - coming back to life with new clutter - day after day after day - I just wonder why I bother.

And then my child.

The child I love SO very much.

G-d, I love my daughter. I'm sitting here fighting tears as they approach the surface.

Because I hate how frustrated I get with her sometimes.

She's non-stop. She doesn't stop talking. Moving. Acting and reacting.

And I'm blessed. I know I am. I feel I am. I AM.

But dear G-d, sometimes I am SO freakin' tired. So ready to go to bed. And then I realize I haven't taken a single minute for myself yet today. Or yesterday. And yet, I have spent some time online. Diving in, beyond the surface, to the place where my friends live.

Am I doing it to avoid my child? Some days it feels like that. Like today, maybe. And it's wrong. I shouldn't do it. But I am normal. I'm a mom and I do.

I've spent almost every.single.day of my child's 5+ years with her. At home. Entertaining her. Engaging her. Finding ways to keep her busy, happy, motivated. Excited. Enthused. Less than bored.

And I'm tired. I'm kind of finding myself ready for her to go to school.

Is that wrong of me? Maybe.

Are there people who probably sit, shaking their heads, offering nothing more than an 'I knew that would happen,' when what they really want to say is that they told me so - but they bit their tongues well enough that they didn't ACTUALLY tell me so. Ya know? Those people? They're out there. They're not quite wrong.

I suppose in some ways I did this to myself. I am truly lucky to have had the opportunity to make the choice that enabled me to stay at home with my child. She is very well-adjusted, interacts well with others, she's had loads of playdates, groups, classes and the like. She's friendly, fun and sweet. She's mine and I adore her.

But add her clingy and neediness in with the hoarder-lite mode I'm trying to bust out of these days and I feel like I'm trapped in a bubble. One that I need out of and can't seem to break through.

But this weekend I get some time away. I'm looking forward to it - and I know that's normal. And yet I know I'll be sad to leave her - and that's normal, too.

So I'm torn.

I'm all out of faith,
This is how I feel.
I'm cold and I'm ashamed ...
lying naked on the floor. 

Deep inside I'm torn. 

Totally butchered those lyrics. With apologies to natalie imbruglia.




** Important note ... I wrote this last night. I was drained. Exhausted. Battling a child who didn't want to sleep. This morning is a new day. I came downstairs, my house isn't as horrible as it was in the dark of night, it's amazing how nighttime hits me like that and I want to go on a cleaning frenzy but am too damned tired to do so. And how the exhaustion creeps in and the day fills my body, mind and soul, and my child fights closing her eyes and the frustrations escalate and ... well ... you get the picture. But today I move forward. Finding positives and love and more. I hope you do, too.

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Doing it

I know. It seems like all I'm talking about is my weight. My health. My mindset. Wellness. And it kind of is. I'm slow on blogging right now, but I'm good. I'm writing now and again when the mindset hits me and I'm up for it.

So right now I had my quarterly doctor's visit and saw a doc that was subbing for the regular NP I use. Anyway, last time I went in and my first three month window had me down 12 lbs. It was awesome. I was overjoyed.

Today, not as much. But still. I'm down 3.

3 lbs in three months. It's not as exciting as I'd like to see, but it's a loss and not a gain. She gave me a smile and a thumbs up, and so I'm pretty happy when I look at it as an overall 15. Ya know?

I mean, if I could possibly lose another 15 lbs then I could feasibly be 30 or so lbs down by 2013. And that would be pretty cool for me.

* She says after eating the final pumpkin spice cake chocolate chip muffin that she was addicted to over the last few days. Oops. *

Anyway, I'm excited and motivated and my hope is that with October 28th (my 40th) being just under 5 months away that maybe I can lose another 10 lbs during that window. I don't want to push it, though, so if I say 5 that would then have me feeling a bit safer. And 5 would be awesome. It would have me down 20 lbs in a year. Imagine that? By the time I'm like 42 or something I could be so skinny! Ha!

Here are some pics of me to show even the slight transition.

Maybe March and June don't look that different, but I think you can definitely see a change from November, so that's kind of cool.

Anyway, that's a small dose of where I am at. Maybe I'm focusing on the what I've done part because I feel slightly slack and slow-going with what I want and need to do. But I'll get there. If I could find ways to stay motivated and get back on the working out track that would be enough. Because I like who I am when I'm this girl. The one who moves and shakes and rattles and rolls. hee! She's cool. And hey, a few more pounds and maybe I can buy a nice dress (and fancy supportive bra) for BlogHer in August!?! Woot woot! 

Disclaimer: I am not a Woot-woot-er. I'm a Woo girl! *HIMYM reference there* But I felt this deserved that complete WOOT! to get me going. 

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May is for Mothers. And for this mother it's for movement. 

I've been running and working at becoming healthier and being fit for a while now. 

The scale is moving down, which is wonderful, but the past few weeks it has been sticking in the same range. It's up a few tenths. Then down. Then up again. 

Hmmn. Not cool. It's not where I want to be. I want to continue on the road to healthy ways and watch those numbers move down. I'll take it if it happens slowly, but I would still love to see it happen. 

But what I need to remember more than anything is why I'm doing this. 

I'm doing this for my daughter. 

I'm doing this so I can be the healthy and fit mom who can sit (and fit!) with her when we head to a local carnival and hit the rides. 

I'm doing this so when she wants to kick the soccer ball around in the yard I'm able to keep up with her. 

I'm doing this so on our next vacation, trip to the zoo, museum or walk in the neighborhood I feel GOOD, not achey, frustrated or gasping for air. 

I'm doing this so she likes fitness, movement and motivation, too!

She's already taken soccer and swimming and loved both. She starts dance class next month and gets to learn ballet and tap, which will surely be adorable to watch and keep that fun and funky movement motivation for her. 

I wish I had those options. I want to take dance. I want to take swimming. I want to do all of that for me, too. In the meantime I run. I move. I shake my butt when we're dancing around the downstairs and don't feel self-conscious in the least.

I want my beautiful daughter to know that she's making memories with everything she does, but she's also building a way of life. I don't know if she'll learn that right away, but that's okay. It's my role, as her mom, to make sure she sees it. Make sure she knows to keep at it. Keep herself happy and healthy and LOVING LIFE!

So I move for her. I dance for her. I run for her. And I always will. 

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Where I'm at

I'm tired.

Yesterday kind of sucked. More on that later, though.

It's been a few weeks since I have posted my weight or my motivation, or my fitness inspiration.

We had a few crazy weeks, I suppose. I actually skipped weighing myself for almost three weeks - which is scary that I went that long, and yet I am relieved to confess I have only put on .4 lbs. Woo hoo, right?

Yes, I'm okay with a gain. Because this is what those three weeks have looked like...

Passover. 'Nuff said. Honest. I think I ate more things made with eggs than I have in the entire year of 2012. Maybe include 2011 in that, as well. Whoops.

The great mold debacle of 2012. Missed this story? Check it out here.

My anniversary surprise! More on that later, but if you have had the chance to check out my Instagram shots from a weekend or so ago, you'll know I was in NYC for a few days. That update/post will come eventually. I'm slow. Behind schedule. Yadda yadda yadda.

So seeing that my scale showed 4/10 of a pound in the upward manner, I'm not as devastated as I could be. I'm okay with it. I'm glad I didn't put back about 5 lbs, with the eating and drinking I did in the city. Yeah, I went overboard. But I took it on as a true vacation. I think the amount of walking we did throughout the city (the city = Manhattan, for anyone unsure) helped balance things out. Helped me maintain the way I did. Pretty much any and everything I ate and/or drank was burned off shortly after. Honest. I miss that about the city, but again, that's a whole 'nother post!

Now today I get to explain (briefly, I can't dwell right this second) how this week back was okay, but then yesterday I had a "get thee to the ER incident" and I'm okay, but needless to say, I didn't get my butt moving last night. And it's possible I won't today. But I'll be damned if I'm lax about it tomorrow!

So here are a few pinterest motivational images that come from my Motivate Me! board. I hope they'll kickstart my week and get me to move PAST WEEK FIVE of couch to 5K. I guess we'll see...

You said it, Pinterest.

I GOT THIS.

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SASS yourself slim ~ Book review

* I received a copy of this book to facilitate my review. All opinions are completely my own. There is an affiliate link in this post - you'll support my reading habit if you buy your copy there! *

I'll admit that when I first started this book I had reservations. Concerns.

I'm not one to opt for diet books, so that this one is essentially a non-diet book I figured it couldn't hurt to consider it.

I'm not doing the five day/five food fast forward that Cynthia Sass recommends. I know it would be practically impossible for me to consist off of five foods for five whole days. I have a five year old (go figure) so I don't think attempting it will work for me. And yes, I did read the success stories by many of the readers who have tried and done amazing jobs on the initial part of the program. I am not judging - just know where I am at currently!

I do want to point out the five foods, though, as they're obviously health inspired and worth reviewing.

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I don't even know what to title this post.

So we noticed a water spot on our kitchen ceiling the other day. It seemed to appear over night. It sure felt like it did. And I looked at it and it was brownish/blackish definitely mold-ish.

Fast forward to yesterday when we had a friend who is a contractor come out, and he did a quick assessment and told us what the next steps would be.

So after he left I called a plumber - they were out in a few hours. Guy cuts a square hole in our ceiling, pulls out the drywall and it's so nasty you wouldn't want to see it on TV. Ew.

Determines the leak is definitely from our upstairs toilet (in our master bath). Great. Takes up our toilet, wax seal is like shredded or something. Well, there you go. It appears that the toilet has been removed before, and there's a definite leak on at least one side. It's really gross, but the leak is fixed so we're done with step one, at least.

He recommends we call a mold guy. Mold guy is in the area and comes out a few hours later. Checks kitchen ceiling. It's definitely mold. He's going to have to cut more out of the ceiling. Probably do a mold treatment. Did I mention yesterday was our 10yr anniversary? Happy anniversary to us!

Checks the ceiling and it's bad, but it's not like the whole ceiling, which is great news, thank goodness. We don't have to move to a hotel, kennel the dogs and hide the cats. ;) We DO have to live with a loud fan and a plastic wrapped section of our kitchen. I'll live. It's all good. No dishwasher? I won't cook. We're all set.

BUT.

He goes upstairs to cut up some of the bathroom floor and it is so freakin' gross there are NO WORDS. NO WORDS, people. It's nasty. It's rotted. It's a Stage 3 or whatever that means. It's likely that the bottom of the toilet has been leaking into the bathroom floor forEVER. Probably since before we bought our house 5 years ago. WTH? How is that even possible?

Note to self, and to everyone you know in this world ... if you ever buy a house (first house, second, again and again), make sure you have a water detector person come and check all your bathrooms, walls, floors, and laundry room, too, while you're at it. Heck, throw in the kitchen to be safe.  There was so much moisture and water in the bathroom floor that it was off the charts. Ew.

So right now we have our upstairs bath cordoned off. It's a biohazard. Seriously. The plumber had to come back out and take our toilet off again and it's in our master bathtub. What? Yes. That is my life right now.

My daughter even drew a picture of it.

Toilet - meet bathtub. Redneck much?

Happy anniversary to us. Oy.

On a positive note, we're getting a new bathroom floor. And have to paint the kitchen ceiling. Maybe I'll go yellow or something. That could be fun. Or cheesy. Or both. We'll see.

Thanks for listening. I wish you a household-stress-free-weekend ahead.

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It's Party Time!

I'm linking up again this year with the Ultimate Blog Party! Wahoo! I'm excited to get connected with so many new peeps. I hope you'll pull up a chair and stay a while, click a few links and get to know me a bit.



I was trying to figure out the best posts to share in this little *intro-like* post for new friends, but I came up with too many.

So I figured I'd give you a few random things about me and see if that keeps you. Then you can click around to find out more if you want.

* I'm a mom to a 5-year-old girl who starts Kindergarten in August. Ack!

* I experienced pretty intense anxiety during my pregnancy, which carried over to PPA. I am a huge advocate for postpartum mood related education and support. It's important to me that moms everywhere know they are not alone. My own anxiety issues were minimal compared to many, but they impacted me enough to know that it's critical to have a support system in place and remember you CAN talk to others because they will understand. Opening up about this on the web has been an amazing experience and an eye-opener which has introduced me to some incredible and powerful women, who happen to be amazing moms, as well.

* I am a native New Yorker (as in the city, not just the state) who doesn't drive and moved to NC in 2006 (approaching the 6 year mark) and I STILL don't drive. YET.

* I love reading, writing and lots of somewhat junky television. I also love not so junky television. I'm addicted to my DVR.

* I'm also addicted to iced chai lattes. Preferably from Starbucks. I love my sweet tea, but have been cutting back on it drastically as I'm trying to actually lose weight this year. My initial goal was to lose 12 lbs over 12 months, and I'm happy to say that I've already achieved that. Since January. Hallelujah.

* My Keurig now has me addicted to flavored coffees. And creamers. This does not help my weight loss efforts in any way at all. But I have been known to fill a cup of iced coffee and find it the next day, still unfinished. THAT I like. Reducing calories that way is a good thing.

* Also, I've just started running. Well, sort of just. I started Couch To 5K in January and am stuck in Week 5 (I did do the first week like 3-4x, though). I'm working my way through it and even if I don't advance enough, I still make it my business to work out at least 3-4x a week. YES, A WEEK. That's incredible for someone like me - I can promise you that.

* I write. Not just blog, but I like to write fiction, too. I have a few stories going on here you might enjoy. Or not. No pressure.

* I miss my family, a good slice of pizza and hot, fresh bagels on the weekends. I also miss my very best friend and my college peeps so much. But I'm surviving. And maintaining contact. And hanging on. Or in. Or whatever you call it.

* Today is my tenth wedding anniversary. I love my husband so much and feel that I don't seem to tell him that enough. Maybe when our daughter is 20 we'll be able to find time to spend together again. Le sigh. Or maybe we'll find a babysitter before then.

So, if you like what you've read and want to stick around, please do. I feel I've said enough that I won't bombard you with links right now. Just click around through my various topics if you'd like and lemme know what you think. Hope to chat soon. Cheers!

p.s. Yes, that is a How I Met Your Mother calendar hanging up between some collages of my little one at age one. And my beverage is a Moscato from FlipFlop Wines. That I blessed so I could drink it for Passover Seder. L'Chaim!

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The one where I keep on keeping on ...

Well, I didn't give up. I just slowed myself down this past week. I didn't work out every single day because my body needed a few minutes (or more) to settle in a bit. I needed to remind myself that every day isn't required, but the more I move the better it will be for me.

And so I weighed in yesterday and am down 1.6 lbs. And as much as the scale and numbers shouldn't mean so much to me - I was pretty psyched. Yeah, I'll admit it. I WANT to see the scale flashing lower numbers. I need that as a reminder that what I am doing is working and I'm losing weight.

Yes, the clothing getting looser or fitting better will be great. And it's already happening and that's cool. It's fantastic, really. I am wearing t-shirts that were slightly small on me and I like that they fit better. It's not something I'll go screaming about, I'm not quite smaller in size yet, or if I am I haven't been able to determine it because I haven't really gone to try on any clothes or anything. But whatever - point being - it's working. And I am reminding myself that it will and it can continue to if I keep at it.

This week is Passover so I'm having a low-carb week. Lower than you'd ever expect a pasta and bread addict like me to have. We'll see how my body does after that, I suppose.

I keep trying to remember the exact weight I started at so I can have a better idea of how much I have really lost. It shouldn't matter. I keep saying that. But we all know it does, right?

But more importantly it's about healthy living. Life-style changes. Things like this little pretty pink image that I have here:

I do this now. I really do. Weird, no? 

It's not that bad - even when I take longer to order because I am clicking around on my phone (I'm not being rude, I promise, I'm just trying to make educated choices!) at the table. 

It's part of what happens to me. What's changed in my day to day. 

I may not be exactly where I want to be yet, but I am more educated and informed and moving a LOT more. And yesterday? My husband took my kiddo to the Monster Truck Show. And me? I stayed home and watched TV. Did household chores. 

AND? 

I'm glad you asked. 

And I walked for an entire HOUR to the Wii Fit while catching up on some TV shows. Yeah. That was me. I'm pretty proud of me, too. 

So I hope you're having a good weekend. A good holiday. And don't overdo it. You'll feel guilty about it tomorrow if you're anything like me. You can still taste all of your favorites and enjoy without puffing out your belly like there's no meal tomorrow. And yes, I'm talking to myself more than I'm talking to you. But if you want to listen, hey, it's your call. Go for it. 

Thanks for joining me on my ride. I'm happy to not have to go it alone!

* As always my images are from my Pinterest acct. Either my Motivate Me! or Healthy Ways boards. 

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Movement motivates me

Another week gone by and this Sunday finds me in a good mood. Well, it's Saturday night as I write this, and I've just finished an entire bagged salad for dinner (probably shouldn't have, after I ate an entire bag of steamed broccoli for lunch - taking the need to up my greens a wee bit too far, I suppose).

We went out to breakfast this morning and I didn't rely on my phone - which was a good thing. If you haven't read my questions and frustrations with relying 100% on an app to choose my foods, well, check it out here in my Wednesday post.

I love posting these recaps on Sundays. I just wish I could come up with a catchy title or something. Weekly weigh-ins just doesn't work, as it's way more than that. Way more than the weight. Hmmn, maybe I'm onto something there? Fitspiration. Motivation. Inspiration. All of the above? Eh. I'll stick with trying to come up with something each week and see what happens.

As always, I've included some fantabulous Pinterest images for sharing. I like this next one a lot, even though I don't really *Tumble* - but you can replace that with pretty much ANYthing on the web and it would be relevant, don't you think?



So I weighed in today (Saturday) instead of tomorrow, and I'm down 2 lbs! Hooray! I know I shouldn't rely on the scale to show me that I've made positive changes, but it still feels good to hear it. See it. Be told it - in so many words. That brings me to a total of 6 lbs lost, and I'm pretty proud of that. I hope to hit 10 before the challenge I'm participating in is up. By no means am I doing this to win a challenge - by the way - but it's cool to have a group of women doing the same thing and aiming to reach new lows (on the scale) and new highs (working out, healthy eating, staying motivated and focused) together.

This week's workouts consisted of today's C25K WEEK TWO!!! Woo hoo! I couldn't believe it, but I survived. It was the first time I tried, and although I've been C25K-ing for a while now, I was not sure I'd be able to handle moving past week one, but I did. So a big yay for me.

Also, my LoseIt app told me I get an exercise hound award for working out 3x/week or more the last 3-4 weeks. That motivated me more than seeing the numbers move on the scale, to be honest. I was like - yes - I MUST workout again after that!

Yesterday I got a new Leslie Sansone DVD and tried out the Walk and Kick workout. Little did I realize it was a kickboxing type of thing. Those kinds of movements when you "walk," and whew, it was rough. Turned out to be a good half hour of sweating. I liked it. There are three other workouts on the DVD, and I had some discounts and coupons, so I only spent $4.95 for it. Well worth it, I'd say.

On Thursday I did the 2 mile WATP workout, AND walked with a friend for just under an hour. That was rough on my feet the next morning, but it felt really good. I did the 2 mile on Tuesday, too, and took Wednesday off. I also skipped Monday, and did the C25K (week 1) at the gym last Sunday. So I'm feeling pretty positive that I'm in this workout mode for real. And it makes me happy!

Anyway, that's all for today. I am going to go indulge in a truckload of water as my body really needs it. Hope you've all had a great weekend, and GO BIG BLUE!!!

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The Beast

I waited, sitting still for the few minutes that she was inside. I expected to wait longer, but she came out fairly quickly.

"You're done?" She smiled. Nodded. Tears filled her eyes, brimming at the surface. "That was quick! That's amazing. I can't believe how fast it was." More nods. I hugged her. "It's okay," I whispered.

"I know," she whispered back.

I held onto her, gently. She was fragile, yet strong. Stronger than I'd ever seen her. "You're amazing," I told her. She laughed softly.

"What'd you think of my mask?" she asked me, as we walked to the door. My turn to smile, a slight laugh.

"It's you, alright ..."

"I asked them if I could keep it when I'm done."

"What'd they say?" She shrugged. "Ah, you don't really need that. When you're done you'll be DONE. No mask to remind you. You'll know."

"I'll always know." She lifted her hand up to her neck. Touched it gently.

"Does it hurt?" She shook her head. "You sure?"

"Not so much. It's easier now." We sighed together. "They gave me lotion." I nodded. She looked so tired.

"Let's go home," I instructed. Silently we walked through the doors into the beautiful sunshine.

Cancer is a beast. But my mom? My mom is absolutely beautiful.

This post is in response to this week's prompt over at The Red Dress Club.

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Mommy Confessions

I have to admit this.

I freak out a little bit when my child gets sick.

And no - no - it's totally not what you think! It's not because I'm worried about her fragile little being falling to pieces under a fever. Are you kidding? She'll outlast us all, trust me!

It's because ... and I hesitate to confess this ...

I DO NOT WANT TO GET SICK!

She's got a cold right now. I'm thinking to myself, tonight, as I got her to sleep. She laid on top of me. Must have said 'I love you, Mommy,' about a dozen times.

I love you, too, sweetie. [Please don't get mommy sick! Please don't get mommy sick!]

See, she has my husband's immune system. Or she may as well have it.

Me? Not so much. I have my mother's immune system. Allergies and all. When I get sick I'm down for the count for way longer than a human being should be down.

So I'm overloading on the Vitamin C. Hyping up the OJ, and trying to wash my hands about 900 MORE times a day.

Think it'll work? Think I'll be protected? You do?

Eh, I'm not so sure.

Is there truly a way to protect a parent from the coughing, congestion, phlegm, puking, snotty tissues and clingy-ness that is a four-year-old who needs them?

I think not.

And I'll also confess ... I wouldn't change that for the world.

Except - ehem - for the fact that I usually get sick afterward. OOPS.

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Anxiety is a b!tch ...

Photo obtained from Photbucket.com

Right now my daughter is walking around the living room, batting about the balloons my husband picked up for her the morning of her fourth birthday. The sound of the Mylar is causing me to stop and take some deep breaths before I lose it.

Breathe in ...

Today is the first day in a while that it's just been the two of us for the day. My parents came in on Wednesday, and left Sunday morning. My in-laws arrived on Friday, and left this morning. Hubby was home since Thursday, and is back to work today.

Breathe out ...

And so I'm trying to make sure I have stuff for us to do. She's already opened two of her birthday presents today. And I bought two new Valentine's books to give her later. And we have a playdate to walk over to this afternoon. Which should be fun.

Breathe in ...

I miss my parents already.

Breathe out ...

Needless to say, the slightest of sounds is setting me off. My massage chair thing-y is actually hurting my eyes a little bit.
*Which is so not cool, since it is supposed to be doing is HELPING me relax, ya know?*

Breathe out ...

It probably doesn't help that I have recently switched my medication. I was on one medication since the end of my pregnancy, and my doctor recently discussed whether or not I felt like it was working. And I did. For the most part.

Breathe in ...

See, my PPA (postpartum anxiety) is totally heightened as my child gets older. It's likely a combination of this and my generalized anxiety (which I am pretty sure I had pre-motherhood) that impact me in the way that sets me off in such a mode that I cannot focus and don't know which way to turn.

Breathe in ...

So, like just now, I sometimes turn to Disney Junior (or whatever the DisneyChannel is called these days!) and The Imagination Movers to help me out. *This episode is just a teeny tiny bit annoying - but aren't they all?*

Breathe in ...

Because even the sound of the huge container of colorful goldfish is rubbing me the wrong way.
*I really should get her a small bowl for those.*

Breathe out ...

So when my doctor and I spoke a bit, and my daughter was there at the appointment with me ... I think it was pretty obvious that my anxiety was ruling me a bit more than I was ruling it.

Breathe in ...

So we switched things up a bit. And the last week or two were a bit hellish, but I think I'm getting back on track now. Which is good. Very. VERY. Very good.

Breathe out ...

But I must confess that sometimes even when I stop and take that moment to breathe, I can't always catch myself and set up a buffer before I tend to snap or shout for some unknown or established reason.

Breathe out ...

But I continue to try, and that, that is the most important thing of all.

Breathe in ...

Because although some days will be rougher and tougher than others, and other days will be completely intense and heavy and I won't want to get out of bed ... I always will. Because I have a little girl to be there for. And a life to live. And so much more to think of than just the things that sometimes make me cringe.

And breathe out.

*And a half hour later I'm finally finished writing this post! And, bonus of all bonuses, Toy Story is on now! Woo hoo!*

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When you eat ...

At the refrigerator ... Pull up a chair.

That is one of the most recent books I have read. Actually, it's a re-read for me. I read it many moons ago, in what I'd call another life. Does everyone have those? That feeling that you used to be a totally different person, all the while still being YOU? Odd, maybe, but I have improved greatly from the me of many years ago.

Enough therapy can do that for a person.

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Mostly Wordless Wednesday!

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