It's 1:51 pm on Saturday.
What are you doing this weekend?
Passover started last night and my daughter and I Skyped with my brother/SIL/niece/mom/SIL's mom and did a few prayers.
We didn't do an entire Seder because without my dad it just doesn't seem exactly like the kind of thing we want to do.
And while that might not make sense to some, it's what makes sense and works for us, and how we want to go about things in my father's memory and in his name and in our religion.
And how long will it take before we say such blessings without tears?
Probably forever - but we did it and I'm proud of us and I know my dad is, too.
My daughter last night cried in bed and said, 'tonight was rough'.
And it was. It was rough and hard and we shared tears and love and hugs and Happy Passover-s and we let ourselves feel. Because that's the kind of mom I am, and the kind of relationship we have and that's how our holidays will be for a while. Or forever, but either way, they'll always remind us of what used to be.
And I had a few sips of wine and raised my glass to my dad. L'Chaim.
And you know what? Passover is harder than Rosh Hashana(h?) - why can I not remember if I usually spell that with an extra h at the end there? Confused myself.
But - yes - so there. It is. It just is.
Tomorrow is Easter and while I'm watching all of the egg hunting and pretty dresses on Facebook I'm thinking to myself how we don't do Easter at all and how my daughter doesn't know about Easter baskets and candy and yet she knows enough to ask me to hide the matzo, and I think my dad would be proud that she remembered that and asked it.
And this isn't to say that she should know more - or she shouldn't have to - because we observe our holidays and manage our interfaith family our way, the same way you do your family traditions your way. And that's how life is supposed to be. You do you. I'll do me.
I should be done now.
But I figured that wishing everyone a happy Passover and Easter would be okay to toss into my five minutes of stream of consciousness writing. So - happy holidays to you and yours. May your time together, with your family, friends, loved ones, bring you loads of laughter, shared tears and love - unconditional love.
And should you be so inclined click the image below and write your own free write post and link up with my girl Jaime of Love Jaime. Because you should know her. She's good people.