I'm not ready for it.
I don't really want it to come.
Can we just pretend it's not a holiday this year?
It's not going to be for me.
My daddy is gone.
I'm not ready.
I can't imagine the day coming and going without at least hearing his voice.
Seeing his face.
Laughing. Smiling. Feeling.
So much feeling.
I know I'll have the feelings. The love. The heart.
It'll all be there. I'm quite sure. And yet ...
He won't be.
What do you do?
How do you celebrate Father's Day when your father is gone?
With a shattered heart and tears in your eyes?
With a plastered smile as you and your daughter celebrate your husband. Her father.
Yes. Of course. Yes.
But my father. MY daddy.
How do I celebrate him when he isn't here?
I have no freaking clue.
I feel like I might just want to stay in bed all day, but I know I won't.
But I'll probably want to.
Eyes closed. Shutting out the harsh reminder of my loss.
Because I don't need a reminder.
Every single day.
I know my dad is gone.
I love you, Daddy. Happy Father's Day. Every day.
I miss you.
* Linking up with Things I Can't Say and Pour Your Heart Out this week. *