Sunday, August 26, 2012
Untitled brain dump.
It's another Sunday. It's Stream of Consciousness day. It's free writing without a prompt day today, and I'm so glad it is. I just felt the need to be "unbottled" - and yes, I know that's not a word and I know prompts are totally optional, but I think that's when I started to pull away from SOC posts over at Fadra's. She never made them required, either, but something in me felt, well, I should probably try, right?
Anyway, SOC is when you basically brain dump for five minutes. I'm going to cheat and start the timer now. And I'll warn you - I often go over my five minute mark. Nobody yells at me. Nobody makes me feel badly. So you know what? I don't either. I just GO with it. It's all good!
So, I'm battling a cold. I'm fighting it hard, but it sucks. Plain and simple. My daughter had a runny nose last week and it seems to have disappeared for her, which rocks, but for me, not so much.
And about three nights ago my throat started hurting - well - no - night before last. So my throat was on FIRE and swallowing almost felt like a non-option.
And then yesterday I woke up and felt like my head was a bowling ball. My sinus pressure was so awful that I wanted to cry. I kind of did, actually. But that was General Hospital's fault.
But truly, once I was crying over that - I knew I was PMSing. Fantastic. I knew it would be the case. I'm like the one person in the universe who is almost ALWAYS sick around my cycle ... and bye bye to all the male readers I might have actually had ...
We went to the baseball game last night. Despite my sinus pressure. I had hit a window of being ready to beat it and I actually had a small break and was able to breathe while enjoying the fall-like weather. The breeze kind of rocked.
And then I broke a sweat. It was hot. Or maybe it was me?
And last night I came home and the cold had shifted. Settled itself into my chest. This is a fast pace for someone like me. I'm thinking maybe that my life doesn't permit me to have long-never-ending colds anymore. Because the path of a cold is expedited through my system. My only hope is that the slight cough stays at that level and then it disappears. Because I used to be the girl who had a cough for like WEEKS on end. Weeks and then I wound up at the doctor's. I have a doctor's appt scheduled for early September, so I'd love to not have to go before then. Seriously. Not wanting to. Especially with the kiddo starting school like any minute.
Anyway - that's my brain dump. I'm figuring when I do see the doctor I will be expressing this cycle-related health issue. Because once upon a time when I was a teenager whose mom brought her to the doctor and I expressed to said doc that I was concerned about the tie-in he said to me (that and the fact that he was a pediatrician should have been my warning to say, talk to someone ELSE): "Well, then you'd be sick every month!" And my mom and I answered him quickly. Without question. I AM. I WAS. I still sometimes AM. It sucks. It's not acceptable. The connection is there and there has to be a way to fight it. Or flow with it on the healthy side of things. So there. That's my plan.
Because I'm freakin' tired of feeling this way and always ALWAYS having it connect with a certain window of my month. Because that just doubles it up and makes me even crankier, more emotional and way difficult to deal with. Even for me. I can't deal with myself. I just want to crawl under the covers, and that's so not likely as a mom - right? Sigh.
That's my stream of consciousness. I went over by a few minutes, but thanks for sticking with me anyway.
Here's to a healthy week ahead!