Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Sometimes I can't breathe

Any other moms or dads out there have this overwhelming frustration when your child is playing with something and makes a mess and it seems like it's taking over the entire house and/or your entire mind and focus? Like I have my 4-yo playing with "sparkles" - which, thank the good world that it wasn't glitter - was just some sparkly pieces that I gave her to glue to paper. And all of a sudden, I'm sitting here at the computer and I hear a splattering of the sparkles hit the floor.

Thing is, it could be easy enough to clean up, but I'm by no means Suzie homemaker (apologies to any Suzies out there who aren't and don't understand how the name got assigned to them and they have to bear that burden) ... so what SHOULD be easy enough to clean up isn't quite as simple as I had hoped. Sigh.
See, cats and dogs (just one, we're not that crazy yet) shed a lot. A lot. And I sweep up as often as I can, as often as I'm able to, as often as I have a minute to use my feet to somehow clean the floor quickly ... I'm being honest, ya know? ... and so the sparkles are amidst the cat hair and it's driving me batty and my heart is clenched and my heightened anxiety is all over the floor - so to speak.

Sigh. And so here I am. Trying to zone out and figuring, well, this is the perfect PYHO post for me. It's hilarious how life leads to blogging, right? It's a positive of the day-to-day. This blogging. This outlet. This way of remembering I'm not alone. Other moms and dads have the anxiety, the messes and the emotions of parenthood (is that even a word? For realz?) like I do.

So thanks for letting me pour my heart out. I'm kind of doing better right now, as this post was just written (the linky is tomorrow - but I'm posting right now cause it's real and on my mind and it's happening this minute) -- and MAN I used a lot of parenthesis in this post, didn't I? -- and dashes. I'm a big dash person.

Anyway, I feel better now. I've had some WhoNu cookies, and my kid is eating some now while watching Phineas & Ferb, and we have a playdate at 4pm, that I can't tell her about for another hour or so, but she'll be excited when I do. And we may even grab dinner out with friends. Ah, the joys of motherhood on the go! So thanks for listening, for not judging, and, if you're willing, for sharing the things about parenting that heighten your own anxiety and make you feel like crawling through the window or to the roof when they happen. I promise I won't judge and I'll laugh a little. But WITH you, not at you. Never AT you. Peace out.



14 comments:

Secret Mom Thoughts said...

I know the feeling about being overwhelmed especially with the pet hair. Glad you are having a better day. We all have days like that.

Just Stuff From a Boomer said...

We all feel it. Just know you are normal. I was the Queen of "Mom got mad and left". I would tell my husband, "you deal" and I was out the door to walk around the block, down the street, anywhere but be in that house with those darlings anymore. Now that they girls are adults they tease me about it. Sometimes I would leave barefoot. I could not get out that door fast enough. When I got back life was better.

JDaniel4's Mom said...

We were organizing JDaniel's closet. I had my idea of how to empty it out and he had another. Stuff was everywhere this morning. It was driving me nuts.

Our house is sparkle and Moon Sand free.

Kim {Yep, they are all mine} said...

I would not survive parenting without blogging.

Or beer.

Lisa @ Two Bears Farm said...

Glad your moment is over! Whew!

Be careful with those Who Nu cookies ;-) You know what I mean!!

Nicole said...

For me it's noise. The kids start to get loud, not because anythings wrong, but because they're kids and they're happy and excited. So they get loud and my anxiety heightens and my patience frays. Sometimes I snap at them and then feel awful about it. But those moments never last long.

Shell said...

yesterday? Spent the day doing a deep clean of the living room. Moving furniture and vacuuming under it. Scrubbing walls, getting everything in order. Go into the kitch to make dinner- go back out into living room? Total mess. UGH!!!!!!

Hope you had fun on your playdate!

finallyMom@blogspot.com said...

hehe i love how you wrote this. :) it reminded of when i first started feeding Lovie solids. oy vey. i hated the mess. still do. but i've let it go. until last night when i gave her a cereal bar to snack on before bed. one minute it was in one piece, the next minute crumbs and sticky pieces were all over the coffee table and on the carpet and... UGH! :) i'm not looking forward to the damn sparkles and glitters stage.

championm2000 said...

The inch of grime on my hardwood floors from high chair spillage and twin drool send me over the edge.

Waiting to mop in NC,
Melissa

~Following from PYHO

MEL said...

Yeah, the never-ending loads of laundry and dishes are my Achilles heel!

Adrienne said...

Breathe...breathe...
I can so relate! Days like this make me want to cry. Hope you had a fun play date!

Peeper said...

Those days are the worst!! Who doesn't feel overwhelmed at times? Sparkles, cat hair...argh!

I have 4 cats (job hazard) and a toddler - I keep trying to convince my husband that we need to hire someone to come and just do our floors once or twice a month. He's totally not buying it. So I got a Dyson, which has revolutionized my OCD life.

Kristy said...

Just last night, I said to my SIL, "Did you ever just wanna scream, 'I'm F-ing DONE!'?" And, she just kind of looked at me. Hmmm. I was getting so frustrated with my little guy in the bath. I told him to put the soap down. No, he didn't. Then he rubbed his eye. Then screaming for a long time. Then refusing to get out of the bath, and then demanding to get out of the bath RIGHT NOW, and "oh, my eye, my eye," and, "mommy, I want to sleep in your bed!"

Kill.me.now.

You know?

Oh, sorry. This was your pour your heart out, not mine. Perhaps I should have participated. :)

Helene said...

Oh man, I had one of those days today!!! We just got back from our vacation yesterday and I had a ton of cleaning and laundry to catch up on. So I'm upstairs putting everyone's clothes away and straightening things out...I come downstairs and see one kid coloring on the kitchen table (no paper in sight), one kid tossing books off the bookshelf because he can't find what he's looking for, another kid raiding the fridge and making a mess and yet another kid spilling glue all over my kitchen counter.

I swear I thought I was gonna lose it. I literally felt my blood boiling.

It's times like this when I have to lock myself in the bathroom, sit on the floor and remind myself to take deep breaths.

Motherhood is hard. No doubt about it.

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