Friday, April 1, 2011

The Doctor's Office

Sigh, there's like nowhere to sit in this place that isn't already occupied. I mean, can't these people find a babysitter before they come to their appointments? I kind of like sitting in the waiting room with a book and some time to myself.

Oh, there, I can sit right there ...

Ugh, this chair is just awful. You'd think with all these pregnant women in here that they'd at least find some way to have better and more comfortable chairs.

Great. Great. Here comes one of those couples who do everything together. They're going to sit right next to ... Smile. And nod.

She's got her hand resting on her belly. I wonder how far along she is? What's he doing here, anyway? Is there really a point in him coming?


"Hi," I say.
I'm so bubbly when I meet new people.

"Hi," she responds. She turns back to him.
How rude.

"This your first?" She nods. "Fun time." Another nod. "My third," I say, rubbing my own not yet visible baby bump. "When are you due?"


"We're not sure yet," she responds softly.


"What?"


"We're here to find out."


"You really don't know? How could you not know? Wow. That's, uh, interesting, I guess." She smiles at me, he reaches for her hand. Blech. "Boy or girl?" I ask. She looks at me quizzically.
What's so hard to understand? "Do you want a boy or a girl?"

"We really don't care ..." her voice trails off.
She cares. She totally cares. Everyone cares. But they always give that same old same. Healthy and happy baby ... blah blah blah.

"Are you going to nurse?"
I think her eyes widen. Well, she hasn't thought of that one yet, has she. Perfect. I will convince her now! "Breast is best. It's very important that you consider breastfeeding your baby. You'll be thrilled you did once you realize how important breast milk is to help the kids fight ear infections, and allergies, and all sorts of things. Did you know breast milk squirted in a baby's nose can help reduce congestion?"

"I. Uh ..." she stops. Looks at him. I'm waiting for him to say something. Let me teach them a thing or two.


"And they have all these amazing covers now, so your breasts don't get exposed in public. You should
SEE some of those women." I make a motion towards my blouse, as though I'm going to open it. He coughs, clears his throat. What could he possibly have to add to this discussion? Has he nursed two children through colds and teething and so much more? Doubt it!

"Who is your doctor?" I ask her. Why is she looking at me like that? Oh! Lipstick! I must have some on my teeth. She could have just told me. I reach into my purse for my compact. Hmmn. Nope. Nothing. No food. She may just have a staring problem. These young ones, they have so many things wrong with them these days.


"You're not going to want Dr. D. He's a bit new age. Talking about water births and stuff like that. I'm all for the breast is best, but when it comes to birthin' my babies I'm totally for a hospital. I mean, drug me up and cut me open. Seriously no other way."


She stands up, he follows.


"Oh, did they call your name? Because I was here before you so I would think that they would call my name first ..."


She shakes her head. Is she going to cry?
Wow. This woman is a mess. Poor thing. Bless her heart.

"Excuse us," he says, softly.


"Sure. Sure." I tuck my feet beneath my chair to make some room. "Sure. Have a great day. Good luck with your new baby!"


They walk towards the back of the room. Find other seats.


Hmph. Well. That was rude!


This week's assignment was to think of someone - it could be a fictional character, a public figure, someone you know - who gets under your skin, and write a piece from his or her perspective. As always, constructive criticism is welcome!

10 comments:

Secret Mom Thoughts said...

I think I met that woman when I was pregnant. Well done.

Hoosier Farm Babe said...

I don't know what it is about doctor's waiting rooms - but people don't turn on the rudeness. Ugh - I've had similar encounters! And I agree with you totally - breast is best! Thanks for spreading the good word!
~Meggie
hoosierfarmbabe.blogspot.com

whispatory said...

Busy body know-it-all's are the worst! And it's so true that they seem clueless at to how invasive they are, and I thought you did a great job of showing us that in her mind she was just being 'polite' and 'bubbly.'

My one concrit was that towards the end the busy body seems like a much older woman, this passage in particular, "She may just have a staring problem. These young ones, they have so many things wrong with them these days.

"You're not going to want Dr. D. He's a bit new age. Talking about water births and stuff like that. I'm all for the breast is best, but when it comes to birthin' my babies I'm totally for a hospital. I mean, drug me up and cut me open. Seriously no other way."

I think it was, 'these young ones,' and and the 'birthin' that made me go back to make sure the busy body was there for herself and not waiting for someone else to get done seeing the doctor.

squidmom said...

Lol,felt this piece was a good insight into a true busy body,I liked her"How rude!" And I agree that you showed a good representation of how people like this don't really get that they are being invasive and rude themselves.

Jenna said...

ive met this lady a time or two myself. ugh. your eyes just glaze over and you get to listen to her enjoy the sound of her own voice and the correctness of all her opinions. yes ma'am. Great response to the prompt!

mamatrack.com said...

I hate this woman. When I was pregnant with my son, it seemed like she was stalking me. Nosy busybody.

I like how you conveyed her cluelesness about how inappropriate she is. I think that's right, or she wouldn't act that way. Still.

Well done.

Carri said...

Great writing! This is something we can ALL relate to. That woman was always behind me at the grocery store!

Nancy C said...

I believe that these busybody women do this because it makes them feel better about their own choices. Maybe. Do you think that she is compensating for something? Perhaps she questions her own parenting choices?

I doubt she would be self-reflective enough to consider it, but I do wonder about what drives her behavior.

This was laugh out loud funny. I have been told to my breast milk would cure my pink eye. I was told this while waiting for my kid at preschool pick-up, like this wasn't a total batshit thing to say.

Mandyland said...

This was too funny.

The only bit of concrit I have was addressed in another comment, so I'll just say, I've TOTALLY talked to that woman.

Rivster said...

Wow, this woman sure gets around!! Reminds me of the woman who gave me a stern lecture about not drinking because she saw me holding a glass of wine while very pregnant. It so happens that I was getting it for my husband when he ran out to the car to get me a better pair of shoes.

And yes, it was a complete stranger. (the woman, not my husband!)

Such chutzpah!!

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