Tuesday, October 17, 2023

What It's Like.

A blue sky and words to identify what I'm feeling.

I am almost 51 years old.

I have watched as antisemitic sentiments and hate crimes have risen across America in recent years.

Not that they ever went away.

But the freedom that evil has experienced has been powerful. Fierce. Deadly.

I am almost 51 years old.

I was born in Brooklyn, NY. 

A place I never felt myself to be a major minority. 

A place I called home for much of my life.

A place that felt safe.

I am almost 51 years old.

And as I watch as the hatred against Jewish people grows and thrives?

I'm afraid.

As I hear the chants shouted at so-called peaceful protests?

I'm afraid.

Have you heard them?

Have you seen?

Have you been listening?


Can you imagine?

I am almost 51 years old.

And before now I had never seen such death and carnage on my people in my lifetime. 

I had always heard, never forget and never again.

I never thought I would have to FEEL it. 

Your Jewish friends are afraid.

Your Jewish friends feel alone.

Your Jewish friends are watching. Waiting. Listening.

We hear the echo of our own voices.

We see the lack of condemning posts about Hamas and their actions.

We see you sharing your every day lives.

We comment, like, love, care.

And also ...

We wonder.

We question.

We try to breathe.

We question some more.

I am almost 51 years old.

And I never thought in my lifetime I would see this. Live this. Worry so. 

But here I am.

Living. Worrying. Breathing.


And that, my friends. 

That is what it's like.


  1. It’s Carla not trying to be anonymous but apparently I’m commentingCHALLENGED
    This is it.
    The very thought of no state of Israel makes me TERRIFIED.
    It shouldn’t.
    I’ve been recently but before that thought about Israel pretty infrequently.
    I just keep thinking that Eli Wiesel quote which I shall now mangle:
    I’m free to be a Jew outside of Israel because there IS a state of Israel.

  2. You are not alone. There are many of us who stand with Israel.Many of us who are outraged and flabbergasted by the brutality and barbarity. I can see clearly. I read and research, I am
    Not allowing a slanted media to spoon feed me the narrative that best fits their needs.i see you. I am here for you. Never again, my friend. 🇮🇱💙

  3. Holding space for absolutely terrifying this is. I am so so sorry. I bear witness to your pain and will not look away or dismiss it or bypass it. You are held and seen.

  4. Great job on this - you nailed it as usual. I love you and I too could not even think what I would say. You are so skillful.

  5. Not sure why I can’t comment through Google. It’s Denise. I’m so sorry that you are so afraid. I’m afraid for you. This is so heartbreaking. What the terrorists did in Israel is horrific. I’ve been crying and longing to know how to help. Know that you are loved. Know that the Jewish community is in my heart and in many hearts.

  6. This is Denise. I'm here for you. I support my Jewish friends. I've reached out to many of my friends individually. I can't imagine the fear you feel. The terror. I feel helpless in knowing what to do.

    I love you.


  7. Your poem is heartfelt and beautiful. I am right there with you feeling the same feelings and experiencing the same fears


Comments are like air to a writer.

So please - say something - help me BREATHE!