Monday, September 19, 2016

I'm Judging You: The Do-Better Manual, Luvvie Ajayi

I was lucky enough to get my hands on a copy of I'm Judging You prior to the release date! I had the pleasure of meeting Luvvie Ajayi at BlogHer in California. Luvvie (I'm not being presumptuous here, most people call her Luvvie) was at the expo at BlogHer and we spoke briefly. She seemed genuine and real, and although we didn't become besties or anything I was very excited to dive into her book.

I'm Judging You was an enjoyable read. It was fun, entertaining, and lighthearted in many ways. It was also intense, real and raw. If you've read Awesomely Luvvie you know the things she tackles. You know the things she speaks about. And you know how she keeps it extremely real.

If you have never heard of her before, well, I suppose that I must warn you. It's not called The Do-Better Manual for nothing.

Luvvie Ajayi expects you to do better. She expects that you'll walk away from her book with a mind filled with things that need to be changed. It's not wrong of her to think this. She's laid it all out for you - and there are many takeaways. So, go forth. Read. And take them away.

I'm Judging You is broken down into four parts.

Part I. Life

In this section there are two chapters that are honestly quite possibly my favorite of the book.

Why Must You Suck At Friendship 

Luvvie talks about friendships. The kind of friend you should be, the kind of friend you often are, the kind of friend she wants to keep. She talks about the SOS Pal. The SOS Pal is exactly what she sounds like. She's the friend who makes it all about her. The one who never asks how YOU'RE doing. Whew. That friend is taxing. Draining. Don't be that friend.

She talks about the Frenemy. The frenemy is the mean girl. Why are you friends with her?

Then there is the Holy Roller. The friend who disapproves. Have a friend you feel is always judging you? Yeah. There's a difference between judging you in the realm of this book - and being made to feel awful by someone who is supposed to love and care about you. That friend isn't gonna make you feel good any time soon. Think about it.

Weight a Minute

If you know me you know that I have issues with my weight. And when I read this chapter and saw Luvvie wrap it up with "I really wish we could love ourselves more," well - that hit home. Hit home with a sledgehammer. Her openness about being made to feel too thin, and defending those of us who have to shop in the "curvy" section of the store that's hidden wayyyy in the back and labeled in ways that make us feel like mack trucks. Yeah. That's so much fun. 

Part II. Culture

From racism to rape, this section speaks the truth. Feminism. Privilege. Rape culture. Racism. 

Part III. Social Media

Hashtag abuse is a serious thing, y'all. I've been known to be guilty of it myself. I'm the one who sometimes can be found hashtagging a complete sentence. #sorrynotsorry

But the people who can be found hashtagging every word of every sentence. omg. And the basic words? Like, #the #of #for - - EEK. Luvvie hits this nail on the head in a big way. I laughed through the entire section. Thirty-five hashtags in one post. DYING.

Part IV. Fame

Sex tapes. Fame on the Internet. Celeb status. Luvvie talks about ALL THE THINGS. 

I do want to let you know that Luvvie has a bit of language going on throughout the book. It's not the kind you're expecting me to reference. The pages aren't littered with filthy words, I promise. But this language, well, some people may not get it - may not like it - but she uses it in on her site and in the book. Words like iSweaterGod. Say it out loud and you'll probably figure out what it means. And talmbout. This one might not be as easy for some. Talking about. 

There are footnotes included for those of us who might miss a step and be unsure about one or two of these words. They're fun, they don't bother me one bit - but you might not know about them - so I'm telling you in advance. 

Now, go forth and get yourself a copy of I'm Judging You.

And in case you've been seeing JudgeyPop floating around the Inter-webs, I got myself one, as well. Here's my very own JudgeyPop side-eyeing traffic as we made our way home from Maine to North Carolina this summer. Ehem. Some of y'all need to pay more attention to the other cars on the road. #justsayin

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