Saturday, September 24, 2011

Naked Barbies, Pretzel Ice Cream and why Samuel L. Jackson needs to come to my house

I'm so tired. I'm freaking exhausted. My husband was away for work all last week and my daughter decided to use that as a perfect way to show that she was "sad" and she "missed Daddy" and she just would not go to sleep before midnight. I'm on the fast track to some melatonin here - and it may happen for real soon. And no, I don't mean for me. I already take it on occasion. As needed, and all.

And seriously, people. Will I ever learn to spell occasion on the first try? How hard is it? TWO Cs and then one S. Two first. One next. Sigh. One of these days.

So, today I hung out at Maggie Moos all day. Yep. An ice cream place. We did a fundraiser for the mom's group I volunteer with (read=find my sanity from. And some of my insanity, as well!) and I hung out from about 2-4:30 or so. And I only bought one cup of ice cream. That's pretty impressive for that long a window of time, no?

And yes, my friends. I know that now you're shifting your eyes up to the title of this post. Thinking to yourself - really? Pretzel ice cream? No. No way. What on earth? But yes. It IS real. And it was pretty good! Although I am regretting not adding a mix-in. I should have gone with those M&Ms I was eyeing. Instead I opted for a scoop of that and a scoop of Cinamoo. Any guesses what that one is made of? I did learn that if you call them at Maggie Moos and ask them to get your flavor ready, they'll do it for you. I see visions of gallons of Chai ice cream in my future. As that totally and absolutely rocks. R-O-C-K in the USA.
Say what?

Ah, yes. You must be wondering about the whole naked Barbie thing. Yep. She's in that stage. My child. My 4-year-old. I bought her a few "Barbie" type dolls today at a consignment sale (total score that there was one in the BUILDING we play soccer in!) So I gave her one as a surprise when we got in the car. She loved it. Supposedly it was Alex from Wizards of Waverly Place ... go on ... join me now, you know you want to ...

Who says?

Who says you're not perfect?

Who says you're not worth it?

Who says you're the only one who ... something?

Who says, what's the use in crying ... something something something?

Whoooo Says?

Nanananananana! Lalalalalalalla!

Who says?

Yes, I like it. What of it? I am just hoping Selena doesn't go the way of Vanessa Hudgens and chop off all her hair as a rebellion of sorts while her ex-Zac becomes the available eye candy for women everywhere. Or something like that. Poor thing. She was so cute, too. Ah, well.

Now, where was I? Oh, right. Naked Barbies. The first thing this child wanted to do was take the doll's clothing off. I mean straight away. We avoided it until tonight when I got home, but I told her that this stuff was so fitted that I might not be able to help her get it back on poor miniature Selena. Which would not be good for our visit to NY in the future when she would get to connect with my niece's three or four Justin Bieber dolls. No, that wouldn't be pretty at all.

And lastly, if anyone sees Samuel L. Jackson while you're out and about, please ask him if he'd be willing to come to my house. I don't have a budget that I'm sure he is used to, but with fall approaching - or here just not here in NC here - I'm happy to make him some pumpkin muffins, or oatmeal, or coffee, or pretty much any recipe he finds on Pinterest as long as it's 5 ingredients or less. ANYTHING at all. As long as he can help me get my kid the f*ck to sleep.


  1. First off, haven't you heard of Chubby Hubby? pretzels with peanut butter and chocolate swirl and vanilla ice's all sorts of crazy goodness!

    Second of all, Girl, we HAVE to have a playdate. The girls can bond over Barbies! Mine were always naked and having sex, but maybe I was a wee bit older than our two... which reminds me, my Girl asked for a Ken doll the other day... HMMM!

  2. You crack me up! Thank you for this funny, honest and light post...I needed it this morning!

  3. First pretzel ice cream sounds really good. Second hope you get some rest soon.

  4. Pretzel ice cream with mms sounds good! My niece has always and still does that to her dolls and barbies. They don't need clothes!

  5. I've never heard of pretzel ice cream but it sounds good. A good mix of sweet and salty.

    I remember my girls iwth naked Barbies. I made a huge mistake when I gave my oldest daughter my 1959 Barbie to play with. She chewed the little finger off. Who knew those things would be valuable years later? Yes, I still have it.

  6. Ha! I knew what this post was going to be about as soon as I saw Samuel L. Jackson in the title!

    If you think naked barbies are bad, try Polly Pockets! Stupidly I bought a huge bag of them at the consignment sale a few weeks ago, and man! Mini plastic dolls with rubber clothes! It should be part of the punishment routine in prison to dress those dang things!

  7. I need to try that pretzel ice cream!!! Is there any little girl who hasn't stripped Barbies. Changing their clothes, no matter how difficult it may be, is fun!

  8. Girrlll, I feel your pain!!! My hubs is out of town, and I had 2 of my 3 kids in my bed last night. My 3 y/o insists on sleeping with his head in my back. I'm so tired right now I can't see straight. I'm praying that everyone sleeps in their own bed tonight!


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