Sunday, August 14, 2011

Stream of Consciousness: Motherhood is me

I'm so tired today. My daughter has been waking up every night at somewhere between 1-2AM and I am losing it. She also has taken to crawling into bed with us (me, my side) now and then, so I knew something was brewing.

Last night she complained of her throat hurting, and we believed her. I gave her some Ibuprofen, which I don't normally do, but it was bedtime and I thought it would help with the pain. It did, and eventually she fell asleep. Fast asleep. But not me. I wasn't able to conk out. I've been on a reading tear lately and finding myself up til like 2 reading books I just have to finish. Even if I am loathing the end. In good and bad ways, of course.

So I finally started dozing and she starts crying in her sleep. First it's soft, calm, but restless. I go check on her, she's moving and moaning. I rub her back. She wakes up and has that "who are you and where am I and what's happening here?" look about her. The one where they stumble around in the dark, you know? And they don't realize you're there but are calling for you for hours while you battle to hold them in your arms and make everything better? Well, it was like that, but not entirely. Thank goodness. I got her to the bathroom, she went potty and I wound up carrying her from me sitting on the floor into her room. She's not light - my kid. But I am strong. I am a mom. I'm invincible, right?

We grabbed breakfast-ish food out this late AM, grilled cheese and OJ for her and for me. She also had pickles. Not a good idea, I guess. We did a quick errand or two, and ultimately ended up at Target. Good thing, because as we were pulling into the spot she decided she 'had yuckies,' and that - my good friends - was the end of that.

Motherhood. It's me. It's who I am. Who are you this week(end)?



  1. I stayed up after JDaniel's middle of the night wake up call to finish a book. Thankfully he slept past seven so I could too.

  2. So funny how we can be so sleep-deprived but still stay up to read a good book. I'm totally the same way. I have 4 and between nightmares, potty, and who knows what, I never know which one is going to need me in the middle of the night. I love how you mention moms being strong and got that right!

  3. My son woke up last night and I just knew he was getting sick. I can hear congestion in our horizon...and of course school starts tomorrow! Ugh! And for the record...when are we not mom? :)

  4. Boy, do I remember those days. Being a reader myself, I would read until midnight or 1am, get woken up by a sick little girl, hardly get back to sleep and the alarm would go off at 6am. so I could go to work. Hello world. This is me in Zombie mode.

  5. Ironically I am reading this in bed,, on the edge of our king size bed, with two kids stretched out and one of them is sick. I save the reading for the bath and angry birds for late night ;)

    Love your tine and flow of this piece.

  6. Great post. My 5-month-old has re-enacted his sleep embargo as well. Sounds like sleep is an issue for kids of all ages. As much as it stinks, it's comforting to know that millions of mothers around the world are up with their babies in the middle of night, rocking right along with you. Visiting you from Write on Edge today. "A Wide Line" is #76 in the link-up, and if you have time to stop by, I'd love to have you over. Have a great weekend!


Comments are like air to a writer.

So please - say something - help me BREATHE!