Friday, July 29, 2011

Revamped ...

There might be nothing worse than shopping for a dress you don't want to buy, except maybe bra shopping. That I hated more than much in life. So there I stood, thinking how I couldn't believe I let her convince me to go shopping. With her. We couldn't be more different. We couldn't have more opposite styles. She's thin, I'm not. She's tall, I'm not. She's beautiful - I'm - well, me.

I resisted for what seemed like forever, but I knew I'd need to cave soon. I needed a dress. The big day was rapidly approaching and I held off for as long as I could.

She was bossy and led the way. She wanted to drag me to that specialty store, the kind I'd never set foot into on my own. And so with her I went. I suppose that I would have followed her anywhere - she was my best friend, after all.

I trudged along, avoiding all mirrors. I could feel the sales women staring. You know the kind. The elderly ladies with their hair up in buns. The librarian glasses. Yeah. Them. How out of place I looked. Me in my Lane Bryant jeans, my tight black tee. My obviously larger than Double-Ds. They had to be whispering about me from behind those curtains. This frilly and fancy place. Knowing I didn't belong there.

We must have looked at a dozen dresses. Each one more horrific than the next. Until suddenly there was that one. That one dress that made a slight flicker of hope flash behind my eyes. And damn her, she saw it. She knew. She made me try it on.

And the freakin' thing actually fit.

I almost didn't want to show it to her. I wanted to tear it off, toss it to the side and pretend it could never be mine. But she wouldn't let me. She tore into that dressing room - so typical - and how I looked in that dress took our breath away. Brought tears to our eyes. The two of us. Standing there together. Sniffling idiots. Nothing left to do but cry. Or bitch. Or both.

I threw her out, but stood still for a moment or two. It really fit. I couldn't believe it.

And you know what else? It looked damned good on me. So there.

This is my revamping of the following post: A Spot of Dialogue as per this week's Red Writing Hood Prompt encouraging us to take a red pen to a Red Dress post we've done before. We've been asked to truly revamp it and turn it inside out and upside down to ready it to share with you all. Critique is welcomed.


  1. love this moment and the voice that you used to tell it.

    Lines like this -And damn her, she saw it. She knew. She made me try it on- read perfectly!

  2. This is always such a magical moment. I like how when she sees herself as beautiful, it's like there's a hush in the air. A moment of transcendence. You can feel it.

    "She was bossy and led the way." This is a classic tell. I bet you could show her bossiness in so many ways...clipped words, snapping her fingers, shoving people, sharp words. You know, make her a New Yorker.

    I kid, I kid.

    Can I steal the phrase "red pen to the red dress?" it's brilliant.

  3. Great job! I loved every word and felt like I was in the store with you!

  4. I loved it. You took me with you and made me feel it. Gret job!

  5. I liked the original but I LOVE this version! Great descriptions, great dialogue.

  6. It feels so immediate. I'm right there in the store, feeling her frustration, her discomfort. And then THE DRESS. And I see her thinking maybe, just maybe, she IS worth it.

    Great job

  7. So lovely. And so familiar. This warmed my heart and brought a smile on my lips - thank you!


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