Monday, June 13, 2011

A Fresh Take on Southern Living ...

I am excited to welcome The Drama Mama to my 'hood today with her guest post. She's a fun blogger over at The Scoop on Poop, and if that isn't enough to get you over there, well, I don't know what is!

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I am so delighted to be hanging out over here with Andrea today! In honor of her move from city life to redneck country, I decided to do my guest post about where I live. My husband is a certified redneck too, and you’ll see why!!

I live in Virginia. Virginia is not only for lovers, but it’s also for rednecks…

And where I live in Virginia? It’s smack between 2 major metropolises in Washington, DC and Richmond, so you know, just KNOW that I am neck deep in it here and losing air quickly.

Just like any other state, there are key things that are unique to Virginians (hey, that’s VirginIANS!) that only other redneck states can claim, and possibly a few that are unique only to us:

  • Speed limits are just suggestions
  • It’s not actually tailgating unless your bumper is touching the car in front of you
  • Despite the fact that Virginia fought for the south, has thousands of civil war tourists sites, we are not, under ANY circumstances, according to other states “southerners” unless the state is north of the Mason/Dixon line.
  • A dusting of snow and we miss 3 days of school
  • All the potholes add excitement to our driving experience
  • If you stay on the same road long enough, it will eventually have 3 new names.
  • You have never been served tea without the waitress asking “sweet or unsweet?”
  • A yellow light means at least 5 more cars will get through; a red light means at least 2 more will
  • It takes 30 minutes to drive 10 miles
  • You can cross 4 lanes of traffic in under 30 seconds

We have our own language too…

  • Ever been to the crick? Of course you have. It’s down yonder just beyond Bobby’s house. It has the BEST perch in it ever. Come on, y’all.
  • Wanna go to the riva? Ok, meet you at the beach (ocean), the pier (lake), or the Rappahannock (river)!
  • My personal favorite and often used expression? I’m fixin’ to…

I hear we have our accent too, but that’s just not true. Everyone else does, though.

As for my husband (I call him George Clooney, you'll have to ask me why)? He hails from the country. The difference between him and a country boy?

  • When he bends over, you want to JUST SAY NO.
  • The pickup trucks owned by him, his dad, and his brother cost more than their educations did
  • He had to remove a toothpick for our wedding pictures
  • He prefers car keys to q-tips (which is not only GROSS but annoying!)
  • He owns at least 3 t-shirts with the sleeves ripped out of them
  • He considers personalized plates any plates with our initials on them (GMC-1948 anyone?)

But most of all? Up until our recent move, everyone knew we were a redneck family because directions to our house included “turn off the paved road".

So, there you have it. The official scoop on the redneck poop in my world. To borrow a phrase from a favorite country song ‘round these parts…”We say grace, we say ma’am, if you ain’t into that, we don’t give a damn.”

What redneck characteristics have YOU picked up from YOUR state?


  1. I love this! It's funny because people don't think of Florida as Southern or having rednecks, but OH, we do, we do. My favorite redneck cop recently posted this on Facebook:
    You know you're a redneck if you think that on a traffic light, green means go, yellow means go faster, and red means "Hey y'all, watch this!"
    YES, that came from a cop. Gotta love it!

  2. Yep, I'm a FL Southerner too. I agree with what DysfunctionalMom's cop friend says.

  3. Thank you for letting me hang out in your 'hood!

  4. Love this! Though I'm not a redneck, I live out in the country (as in gravel and dirt roads, 30 minutes to the nearest grocery store, cows and horses and deer...oh my!). This island girl is a long way from home, but I love it. We're heading to the crick this afternoon! ;)


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