Friday, March 19, 2010

When you eat ...

At the refrigerator ... Pull up a chair.

That is one of the most recent books I have read. Actually, it's a re-read for me. I read it many moons ago, in what I'd call another life. Does everyone have those? That feeling that you used to be a totally different person, all the while still being YOU? Odd, maybe, but I have improved greatly from the me of many years ago.

Enough therapy can do that for a person.

I have learned, over time, that I can be happy being me. I can be comfortable in my own skin, despite wishing there were less of me within it. I have recognized that I do not need to follow the strictest of diets while living my life, as I tend to fail on those anyway, and hate myself more afterward.

I learned to be comfortable being ME. To recognize I can wear pretty things, find clothing that flatters my body, and be happy wearing them. I can wear RED. I can wear bright colors. Black, white and blue are not the only colors an overweight woman can wear.

I've learned that it's okay to say overweight. It's even okay to say FAT. But man, I hate that word. Just too much history with it, I guess. I often refer to myself as chubby. That's cool, right? I am a short and chubby girl. Who is a mom, a friend, a sister, a daughter and a wife. A therapist, a volunteer, a writer and a reader. A blogger, too, of course. These are the me-s of today. The me-s that I've become as my life has moved along, while I watched the old/younger me fade away.

So reflecting back while reading this book was an interesting experience for me. I remembered my younger self. Funny, I almost said old self, but she wasn't old at all. Anyway, I knew that girl, I was that girl, I struggled with being that girl. I spent some time in therapy recognizing what was wrong with that girl, and started to understand there wasn't really anything wrong with her, she just kept herself down for too long.

So she got married, finished her master's degree, found a job, moved forward. Lived her life. And suddenly realized that she loved who she was. Who she is. And still does.

On the days that I feel like sh!t and think to myself, 'What is WRONG with me?' and 'Why can I not ...' (fill in the blank) I remind myself of that girl I found so many years ago. And I remind myself that she is still here. She is still me.

Sometimes an old book reminds me that the world will not fall apart if I eat ice cream every night, chocolate every day, and cookies now and then. The world will not implode on me if I don't document everything I put in my mouth. If I don't step on a scale weekly to monitor my poundage. Is that even a real word? Poundage? It sounds so (forgive the pun) heavy, doesn't it?

So, I thank Geneen Roth for her book that I pulled back out recently, read and devoured, and reminded myself that I could still be that girl, only now she's a mother, a positive example for her little girl, someone who wants to provide a constant reminder that she is beautiful, she is perfect, she is amazing, JUST AS SHE IS.

And so are we. The lot of us. All of us. For all our imperfections, for all our struggles and concerns, for all of the body image issues, we are who we are. And we are WOMEN! Hear us ROAR!

So if this resonates with you at all - I encourage you to pick up a copy of this book today.

** And for all the men out there who may be reading this, may you find that same strength within you, as well, because a man with some meat on his bones is a man, indeed! **

** Affiliate links throughout this post to help you buy this book! **


  1. I am struggling with being happy in my own body/skin. It's an ongoing thing. I don't know if I will ever feel truly happy with myself, though. I try to talk the talk, and maybe that helps, I don't know.

    I do weigh myself, and have to get weighed at the dr's office this afternoon, so not looking forward to that. I use it to keep myself in check. I don't weigh in daily, but if I'm up a few pounds, I wanna know about it....wish I could let go of that, but for now, I can't.

  2. It took me 25 years and an ugly divorce to say..."I am a damn good catch" and now after having my 39th birthday just yesterday I am still a damn good catch, a great mom and a superb friend. Who could want more?

  3. What an inspiring post! Though I still struggle with body issues I have gotten a lot better. It's sad to think about all the time I wasted with not being happy with who I was on the outside.

  4. Wow my SW Sista..That was so wonderfully said...Perfecto..and It took me a long time to get here, but I feel as you do..I am good the way I am..I dont want to be a carbon copy of any body.(despite my girl crush on Gloria..Lol)...all kidding aside..I really am happy with myself now..and work to help others achieve that sense of acceptance as well...too too much time is wasted on feeling bad about ones self..and that time can never taken back..Im happy you feel this way too..I think you are Fanatstic too..!!

  5. Having just discovered your blog..I will say..BRAVO..and I look forward to more happy reading!

  6. It is hard to be comfortable in your own skin. I'm still working on it.

  7. I think I'll always have "issues" with accepting myself as I am. I'm much better than I used to be but still very insecure and negative.

  8. Andrea.. hi... I'm your new swap partner and am so glad to meet you. Got your info today and hope you also come visit me...

  9. Great post! I am more than my number on the scale. I have succeeded just fine in life even WITH extra weight. I am happy, even WITH the extra weight. I'd like to lose more (and I will) but I know I can be just as happy in a size 16 as I can in a 6 (okay, so I've never been a 6, it probably isn't even genetically possible for me but still). Happy is a choice. Self-esteem comes from DOING things that make us feel good about ourselves. Weight is only one possible thing and certainly not the best of the choices.

    Good for you for choosing to be happy!

  10. Andrea.. logg into this link.. on my blog.. you and your family can watch Molly and her interesting.. learn about Barn owls....
    happy sunday and happy moms day (in the UK)....


  11. Andrea,

    I wish I could hug you right now because I am jumping up and down in happiness! How beautifully put and how absolutely true!!! I would say "you go girl" but it just wouldn't begin to encompass the size of my cheer for you. I hope you can hear me screaming for you (because the neighbors are getting a little mad! LOL). All I can say is "yay, Yay, YAY!!!"


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