Monday, October 19, 2009

The Differences

The differences between being away on a retreat in the mountains with your girlfriends, in comparison to being home ...

Waking up in the morning:

* In the mountains you simply open your eyes, check the time, and stay in bed as long as you'd like.

* At home you wake up to "Mommmmmieeeeeeeee!!" And run to pee before she tries to climb out of her crib.


* Your choice. A granola bar worked fine, and nobody else cared what I was eating or tried to eat some.

* Waffles. I need miiilllk. Help me eat. Blowing bubbles in said milk.

* What's that?

* I don't need my crib. I don't need my crib. I don't need my crib.

Plans for the day:

* What are we doing today? I donno. Two hours later ... what are we doing today? I donno. Another hour goes by: Wanna go to the chocolate store? YES.

* Where's Daddy? He's working. Why? Because he is. I need to go to my friends. You can't go to your friends right now. Why? Because they're not home. I need L to see my beautiful dress. She'll see it later. I need Di-ehh-g-io. He's not on. I need to take a bath. It's 10:30, you don't need to take a bath. I need to take a walk. It's raining, we're not taking a walk right now.


* Eat whatever you want, whenever the he!! you want!
(LOTS of chocolate!)
* What's that? I need that? I need a 'nack!


* Wine, wine and more wine. Oh, and some Hawaiian Blue Slushy stuff.

* I need mi-ilk. And juice and water. Three cups? Yes. You can only have one. I need mi-ilk. And juice. And water. Oy.

Household chores:

* Don't make your bed, don't wipe down the floor, don't wash your dishes, (all until you leave, of course!) and mostly use and re-use plastic cups!

* Clean up after the cats, wipe down various spills and dribbles, and dust at your leisure. Dishes are always supposed to be rinsed and dropped [carefully] into the dishwasher.

Bathroom behavior:

* Wipe your own a$$. Close and lock the door behind you when you go potty and/or shower.

* Wipe everyone's a$$, including your own. And other parts of their bodies, as well. Absolutely no privacy what-so-EVER!


* Trashy mags, cr@ppy TV (only like 5 channels) and one another (read: more wine!)

* Noggin, Disney, Nick Jr. and PBS.


* I got to sit in the front passenger seat! And we didn't listen to ANY music. Adult conversation.

* Sit in the back next to the child. Music on at almost all time. Talking to husband who is driving is practically impossible over music and child.

Overall experience:

* Lots of laughs, no responsibilities and lots and lots of wine (and some slushy stuff, too!)

* Lots of laughs, tons of responsibilities and lots of wine (minus the slushy stuff.)

Just kiddin'! Or not quite ... it is great to be home, and at the same time it was great to be away. So I think a balance of both is a must for any parent.


  1. So you had a relaxing get away? That's great!!

  2. I'm jealous. Incredibly jealous (imagine having 3 littles ones chiming in with their needs and wants - oy vey!). Glad you had a great time!

    Casey at
    The Wonder Years
    and The Exploration Station

  3. This was hilarious!!!! I am very envious. :)

  4. OMG that is so true! When's the next retreat again???

  5. Oh wow.. I'm so glad to hear you had a nice, relaxing time filled with chocolate, wine, blue slushy stuff, and ADULT CONVERSATION!!!

    I'm officially jealous as well... :)

    Oh, and I LOVE this:
    "Wipe everyone's a$$, including your own" ~ hysterical!!!


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