For The Single Parent: Children and Transitions

When parents and child(ren) live together in one home they're a family unit.

Regardless of how the day plays out, the child(ren) knows that they will return home to that family unit - together - whether they go to work, school, travel, whatever they are out and about doing, that child will - at some point - be under the same roof with his / her parents. Two parents. Whatever the combination of parents that may be.

When couples divorce, it's a brand new world for them. And for their children.

Brand. New.

These kids, they're learning that what they trusted. What they expected. What they thought would last their entire lifetime and beyond? Is no longer there.

And boy, it hurts. It stings. It's freaking confusing. Painful. Head-shaking.

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Depleting.

Divorce is depleting.

Someone in a group I am in said that this morning, not in those exact words, but more along the lines of when someone reacted to something divorce related - how depleting that was.

Is.

Feels.

Depleting.

Damn.

That is the G-d's honest truth.

Divorce is exhausting.

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Community.

This morning I was catching up on Instagram Stories.

I like to see what my friends are up to, and yes, some of these people I watch and check up on I do consider friends. Not just blogging boos or celebs that I keep an eye on, or expert chefs and the like.

And I caught some clips of Kita in the Dark with my friend It's Really Kita.

She was talking about community.

I told her that I thought she just gave me the prompt for my next blog post.

And so here I am.

The part of her story that jumped out at me first was the mention of the dreaded ole' emergency contact.

Goodness.

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6 Books To Recommend To Your Newly Separated Friend

image from pexels

Listen, y'all know I'm all about the books.

And I've been so extremely quiet lately, just sort of consumed by my own thoughts and stuck in my own head - so I thought I'd take a few minutes and share this post that might help you or someone you know.

Whether your friend is separated or on the road to divorce, there are so many books out there that they might find to be helpful.

There are others that just look like they'd be a bunch of nonsense.

So, how to decide what to read?

Maybe you're thinking - she's not going to want to read a danged book! She's hurt. Grieving, even. In a lot of emotional turmoil/upheaval/pain.

But trust me. Sometimes she's not really sure who to talk to and how to organize her thoughts. And so her best friend for a short period of time will likely be her favorite new journal, and a really good and understanding book.

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Motherhood Is ...

Good morning, y'all.

It's barely 7:30 and I'm ready for a nap.

My morning was, for lack of a better and more gentle word, interesting.

My morning was motherhood.

And if you're not this mom you may be wondering - what exactly does she mean?

Allow me to share this morning's definition of motherhood with you.

Motherhood is ...

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Three More Months

Three more months before we sign a piece of paper and wait for word.

Three more months before we've lived separately for an entire year.

Three more months before I look forward and likely think - what now?

Three more months before ...

What?

Before what?

Today is the nine month mark.

I'm not pointing that out as the premise for this post, because nine months seems like forever in the scheme of things. And three seems as though they'll fly by.

Three more months before I have to truly decide, do I want to maintain the same last name as my child for a while longer, or am I ready to go back to who I was before?

I'm still me.

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Figuring Things Out

I'm still not quite sure where I stand.

I'm finding my way.

Figuring things out.

It's so so very difficult.

My emotions bubble to the surface.

I feel them. Fight them. Let them rise. Allow them to overflow.

All the while - figuring things out.

I don't quite know what the rest of this year will bring.

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To All The Single Moms

Confession time: I've been holding this post in my drafts for a bit. I've been looking for other places to submit it to. I've been thinking, well, is it going to start something w. people when I just want to WRITE and don't want to start anything? And so, I let it simmer. And tonight? While trying to figure out what's for dinner? I've decided to hit publish. Because this is my reality right now - and in sharing it it might help someone else - same as the words of others have helped me. 

I've often been the kind of person who mentioned solo-momming it when my spouse was away for work.

That's not even remotely close to being a single mom.

I'm pretty sure I never indicated that it was, but whether I did or didn't, I'd like to clarify, it's not.

Not at all.

I've seen the mommy wars, watched them unfold online. I've experienced firsthand what it's like to be stuck in a word battle with women you don't even know.

They suck. I'm not here to encourage them. I'm not here to enforce any "laws".

I'm here to speak. To write. To share.

To use my space in ways that I need to.

When you're in a partnership and your partner is traveling for work and you're the only one dealing with all the things?

You're not a single mom.

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Summertime and the Livin' Ain't Easy

It's officially summer.

Ask me how I know.

It's not because of the higher than high temps.

North Carolina has had those for months now.

And it's not that big ole bright ball in the sky.

That thing comes and goes as it pleases.

But it's time to pack.

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Say Cheese.

I'm looking through pictures.

I take so many selfies.

You know it.

I know it.

Maybe that was part of the problem.

Who knows?

But I know I do. I do because if I don't - didn't - I was never on the other side of the camera.

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