Sunday, January 24, 2016

Sometimes I Need to Write to Remember

memories, moments, family, wealth, strength, love, loved ones, happiness

What has happened here?

I'm not writing.

I'm not sure what's wrong. What's happening. Why I'm not writing.

I'm just not.

N - to the - O - to the - T.

Writing.

Some people write sponsored posts like crazy. Or they come up with crafts and things and they share those. This is not how I write.

This is not what I do. Not who I am.

Sure, I do these things, but this is not the kind of blogger I am - where much of what I share is focused on what I'm doing.

I give mad props to those bloggers. Those people who write out their posts and make some big bucks doing it. There are days I wish to be just like them.

And then I think, no, that's not who I am. That's not what I do. That's not why I write.

Right?

And so, when I do write - I write for me.

I know many bloggers who do all kinds of writing. And they do so for themselves. And they do so however they want to. But they do so with a mission in mind.

And though I, too, love a sponsored post now and then. And love an opportunity to review an incredible product - which I do once in a while - I'm not that person.

And I started this post off thinking that my title would be "I've Still Got Nothing," but that's not true.

I have ALL THE THINGS.

I have a husband I love and who loves me. Who works really hard and takes care of our family. And remains patient with me even when I tip to the side of cranky-pants.

I have a daughter who has my whole heart. Who is learning and growing and being and taking the world by storm. And who loves me with her whole heart.

I have two dogs and two cats - one cat who won't come near us, but who we saved from the streets of Brooklyn, oh so many years ago. And the rest? Our fur-babies? Love us dearly. And we love back.

I have a mother who is incredibly strong. Who navigates the day-to-day without the man she lived so much of her life with, and who finds things to smile and laugh about, along with things that make her cry. She's someone I can count on for anything. Any time. Always.

I have a brother who may not know it, but who carries a piece of my heart with him always. It's a part of me that's outside of myself - too far away - sure - but there, always. And I know that's something you normally say about your own children. For my daughter is a part of me and all. But if you have a younger sibling - or maybe any aged sibling at all? - you know of what I speak. You know what it's like to have your memories and your childhood wrapped up in someone else. My brother is that for me.

I have a sister-in-law who is one of my best friends. Who understands me when I merely say, or type (this texting world we live in), about two words. Three, tops. She gets it. I can text her and say I WANT A MUFFIN and she knows what this means. She will write me back and support me. She will make me laugh and listen.

And together, these two? Gave me my niece. My daughter's other half. So close in age, so similar in so many ways, and yet, so very different. I love that our girls are so close, even while growing up 500 miles apart. I envision ourselves ten years from now and imagine tearing our hair out together as we watch these girls grow and move forward with so much of their lives.

This is only on my side of the family. This doesn't even take into account my mother-in-law and father-in-law. My brother-in-law and sister-in-law. My nieces and my nephew. Good G-d, these kids mean the world to me. I am waiting for the days when my oldest niece can come and visit us for a bit on her own. Maybe we'll be showing her local (to us) colleges someday? It could happen. They're all growing up. In the meantime we take the moments we can share together. Whether they're once or twice a year. We keep them on our minds and in our hearts. We watch them grow over video chats and pictures. Thank goodness for modern technology. We get to see them so much more than if we simply wrote letters and had regular ole phone calls.

I have warmth. I have food. I have shelter.

I have books to read and several places to share my words.

I have many places I can lay my head.

I have a heart that swells with love.

Eyes that fill with tears.

Longing. Loving. Missing. Hoping. Dreaming. DOING.

I have ALL THE THINGS.

Sometimes I just need to sit down and write a bit to remember.

So - the next time you're feeling like you're missing something? Sit yourself down and write. You'll be amazed at what happens. I'm pretty much proof of that.

18 comments:

Diane Stenglein said...

Oh my sweet, sweet friend. This was lovely. Because we are, in so many ways, alike.

I'm sitting here, cozy, despite an eternity of snow outside. Happy family, enough of everything, and I feel like I am just unworthy enough of it, that writing about it would be unfair.

But, because of you. I will write. Sometiems the goodness goes out into the ether too, and holds on for you until you need it back.

Beth Ann said...

I so understand this post because it is me as well. I am not the sponsored post gal or the continual create a DIY post gal. And I am fine with that. I write what I want, when I want without having to worry about making a living from my blog. I might starve if that was the case. Celebrating YOU and your fabulousness today!

Carla said...

Oh goodness this made me smile. You do have all the things. I am in a place where I am taking more and more time away from blogging and social media to enjoy all the things.
And yet I feel yearning inside me to write more. No craft blogs no sponsored posts but something. I don't know what that is yet…

Joan Tamburini said...

I am so glad I read this! I write like you and for the same reasons. I need to be as grateful and humble as you!!! Happy Monday!
xo
Joanie (www.cheekystreet.com)

Rena McDaniel said...

I've been stuck lately myself. This might just help thanks!

Paula Kiger said...

All this yes to this. My DD and her cousin Elizabeth are six months apart. From little girls to now 19-20 year olds, it is all a blessing. Except for that one time when they (around 7-8 years old) went walking WAY DOWN A MAJOR road because they thought they were following their older counterparts (who had abandoned their trek). They're so good for each other (now that we found them LOL).

Jennifer Connolly said...

I've definitely been stuck lately. I'm a mixture of all those writers. I do know,
writing about things I'm grateful for or struggle with, touches my readers the most authentically. Of course making a penny or two off my blog feels great too. :)

Haralee Sleepwear said...

Lovely thoughts. Thanks for sharing your sweetness of words!

Laurie Oien said...

I'm that person too and sometimes I wonder what I'll write about next, or if I even will. Somehow, something inspires me and I'll need to write about it. This part of my soul has been an eye-opening experience. Keep writing - you're an inspiration too.

Nancy Fox said...

Love this Andrea. You are so lucky...You do have everything!
And how wonderful to know it.

sassytownhouseliving said...

What a lovely post...really makes you think! It's so important to be true to yourself yes yes yes! At the same time, I like new adventures, I like challenging myself and pushing my limits to the edge. I guess that's why I love sharing that delicious cookie I made that nearly broke my back to make lol. But - at the end of the day...you are so right. You have to be true to who you are and be grateful for all that we have. You are a shining light!

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Hillary Chybinski said...

Great post! And I can say I have all the things, because I have you as a friend! xo

Julie said...

So, the course that I'm teaching focuses on teaching future teachers how to run a Writing Workshop in their classroom. And it's my job to teach them, no, to convince and empower them that they ARE writers, so that they can do the same with their students. It's wonderful.

to do that, I'm requiring each student to keep a Writers Notebook, which is kind of like a journal, but a bit more directed. And less so. The students are encouraged to learn and to write by choice. They have to write 3 times a week, but they can write anything. And then we go back through their notebooks to edit, find examples and create examples of minilessons that are school-related.

The best part? I'm keeping a notebook, too. Which means I'm blogging less, but I'm really enjoying the freedom to write by choice.

Barbara Torris said...

Prefect, prefect, perfect! Some of the best blog post written come out a day when there was NOTHING to write about. I like this a lot because it is so true.

b+

Jenny Gaskell said...

I love you, my sweet friend. I just need time to write and unload all of it, my blessings and my struggles. Hugs.

Allison Barrett Carter said...

I love this so much , this -
I have books to read and several places to share my words.

I have many places I can lay my head.
xo my friend and thank you!

Michelle Saunderson said...

I can so relate. Sometimes I don't know what is going through my head until I sit down to write. And then, I am grateful for everything I have because with the writing comes clarity.