Wednesday, January 20, 2016

My People.

* I wrote this a few days ago on the anniversary of my grandmother's passing. It is only now that I've finished it and felt it ready to share.*

Do you ever have days where you just need your people?

I have people in a number of places.

I have women in my life that I've grown up with. Learned with. Lived with and learned to love with. And loved. Fully. Like pieces of my heart.

And on some days - when my heart is full but I feel the pain of someone I know, or the loss of someone around me, or ... just ... something ...

I wish my people lived right down the street from me.

I wish they were within walking distance.

Now, don't get me wrong, I have local people, too. But local people - we're all running and busy and not right down the street - as much as I've wished it.

But my other people? They're scattered everywhere.

I have my lifelong friends.

And I suddenly realized why I'm writing this today.

Today is January 17th.

January 17th was the worst day of my life for the longest time.

Twice.

Until my dad passed, it was the worst day I could have ever imagined. Ever.

We lost my grandmother - my father's mother - twenty years ago today. Can you imagine? Twenty years. TWO whole decades that she hasn't been a viable presence in my family's lives. Do you know what that loss is like? I know so many people who do. It's so hard. Grief. Stings. Aches. Makes you question every-and-any-thing.

And then. Years later. We lost another family member. On the same day.

He was my age.

And it was shocking. Crushing. Impossible to understand.

Set the world on edge, losing him did.

I'll never forget him.

But throughout every loss I've been reminded that I have my people.

The women (and some men, certainly) in my life who have been there to support me through the good and the bad, the love and the heartache, and the laughter and tears.

Sometimes it's important to remind ourselves that these people exist. They're out there. Because we all have days where the emotions and pain, the moments of remembering, the loss, the heartache - they all become too much to bear. And when they do? We reach for our people.

Sure, in this day and age it's more likely to be a text or a Facebook message than a call or an email, but just the same - we reach out - they answer - we're reminded that they're there.

And I encourage you, and me, to reach out to them on other days, too. When we're not in need of them, but when we just want to connect with them. Make plans. Try to see one another - if the distance isn't too large to cross. Call each other. Listen to their voices. Let them hear yours. Maybe they're not reaching out but they need you. Let them know you're there. Always.

Do you know who your people are?

I'm truly and forever grateful for mine.

6 comments:

Carol Graham said...

Yes, I most definitely know who my people are. It has been stated that there are 7 people in your life that have made the greatest impact. I believe it. This was a read that stirred up a lot of memories -- thanks for sharing

Carla said...

I'm going to over share but you've created a safe place in which to do this. I thought a lot about this concept recently. It's brought to mind a few unpleasant realizations and I did, actually, articulate it to my husband recently when he lamented the fact it seemed I shared more with others then with him. He travels so much. He's not present much of the time he's physically present. I used the words you use repeatedly in this post and told him: we need to re-find our footing you are no longer my people.

Beth Ann said...

I have so many "people" in my life. One of the joys of having moved quite a bit through the years is meeting new people and so many of those relationships have stayed with me. It takes work on both sides to maintain those relationships but it is so worth it. I lost my dad 22 years ago---22! There is not a day that goes by that I do not think of him and wish I could talk to him again. I am blessed to still have my mom living so I treasure that time with her and make the most of every visit. Thanks for sharing---it is such a great thing to realize just how important these relationships are in our lives.

Doreen McGettigan said...

I learned out of desperation who my people were when my brother, 26 was murdered.Shortly after I lost my grandmother. She died of a broken heart.That was 17 years ago. 2 years ago this month I lost my dad and 3 weeks later my best friend. You are so right,I am off, not myself at all. (((HUGS)))to you on this sad day. Take carecof you.

Doreen McGettigan said...

I learned out of desperation who my people were when my brother, 26 was murdered.Shortly after I lost my grandmother. She died of a broken heart.That was 17 years ago. 2 years ago this month I lost my dad and 3 weeks later my best friend. You are so right,I am off, not myself at all. (((HUGS)))to you on this sad day. Take carecof you.

Karen @BakingInATornado said...

I too feel so lucky to have layers of people. I even wrote a pretty popular Huffington Post piece about the value of an online community.
And when my dad died last month and I'd lost my voice, lost my funny, a whole bunch of friends agreed to fill my publishing calendar with Guest Posts to keep my blog going. Yes, very very lucky!

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