Do you ever feel stretched too thin?
Sometimes I feel that way.
I feel as though my heart wants to do so so much and so my head jumps in fully and then before I know it too much gets lost along the way.
And then there's so much to do and so many things to think about and suddenly ...
I stop it all.
I hole up a bit.
I go off track.
Try not to be found.
I'm here - but I'm not answering the phone.
I've got my music blaring and my head is elsewhere.
My heart's exploding because the emotions are bubbling to the surface and suddenly I recognize.
I realize that those things ... all of those things ...
They're great. They're wonderful.
I truly DO want to do it all.
But sometimes they're distractions.
Sometimes I want to forget about feeling homesick.
I want to let go of the loss and the grief and the pain.
Sometimes I just want to move forward and find my way through the fog.
Whereas other times I need to wallow in it a bit.
And I need you to let me.
I've got incredible friends who listen when I hurt.
They know who they are. I won't point them out here.
They're the kinds of friends who don't need recognition. They're happy functioning in secret.
Supporting. Loving. Listening.
Reminding me that I don't have to come out and play if I don't want to, but that when I do they'll be there.
These are friends that come from this Internet world I call home. This blogosphere that has become so much more than a place to write and share my words.
A place where friendships form and last.
I'm truly grateful for those who pull me out of that darkness, but know me well enough to let me stay in it for a while when I need to.
I just need to.