They just won't.
I'm posting to remind myself that I am here.
That I have this space.
So much to say. So many thoughts.
The tears come and go as they please.
I don't expect them to stop.
I'm not sure I want them to.
But man, this hurts.
My heart is shattered.
Every day my daughter talks to my father.
Every single day.
And every day she reminds me to do it, too.
And so I do.
And he hears us.
I know he does.
But I want him to be here.
I want him to answer.
And he can't.
Not now. Possibly not ever.
And it's not fair.
It sucks, truly.
I'm not one to mince words. That much you know.
And so - here I am - trying to find my words again.
Will there ever be anything else to write about?
Do I care?
No. I want my daddy back.
Can my words do that for me?
In my heart, I suppose, a little bit.
But not truly.
Not nearly in the way I am hoping for.
Missing you, Daddy. Still. And always. Forever.