Last week my husband was away at a conference. Our mornings were so different because we had to get up an hour earlier to catch the bus. Well, the child caught the bus, but I had to get her to it.
But somehow, getting up that much earlier made her more cooperative. Maybe it was the understanding of no back-up plan? I don't know, exactly, but I was good with it.
This? This is how my morning went this morning.
Admittedly, I was exhausted and didn't want to wake up when the husband tried to nudge me out of bed with a "Get up. Get uppppp. Get up!" or something like that. Who listens at that time of the day, anyway?
Wake up. Go pee. Brush teeth (I have to people, it just helps me function!).
Go wake the child.
Continue trying to wake the child.
Stick cold hands under child's blanket.
Calm dog. Talk to cat(s). Turn bathroom water on for cat. Break up cat fight.
Talk to other dog.
"CHILD. WAKE UP." Repeat several times.
Make child laugh. Mornings really are kind of beautiful until you realize that holy cannoli! You're going to be way too late to do all of the *downstairs things* if she doesn't get her but out of bed immediately.
Child complains that her eyes do not "adjust" well in the mornings. Yes. She - six year old that she is - used the word adjust at me.
"Keep them closed and I will walk you to the bathroom," and so I do.
Leave her in the dark bathroom with cat drinking from sink faucet. *Shoot. Is that water still on? I hope not. Better go check!
Child takes five years in the bathroom. Do your kids tend to have to poop in the mornings and take forever? No? Just mine?
Put clothes onto bed for child.
"CHILD. Come on! COME ON!"
Back to bedroom. Talk to dogs. Check lunch and breakfast menu on iPad to see if those are options today. Lunch isn't, breakfast could be.
Back to child's room.
"Let's go ..."
Child gets dressed. I go get the dogs. Hear the kiddo say, 'These socks are TOO TIGHT!' ... respond, "You're a big girl. Find yourself a pair of socks." Sigh loudly.
Leash boxer puppy Bella. She's crated because she doesn't like cats. Or likes them too much? We're not quite sure and don't want to test it out.
Bring dogs downstairs. Let them outside. Walk past Keurig and turn it on. Pantry for dog food. Bella starts barking outside. YELL at dogs.
I'm moving as fast as I can, you know?
They don't get it, these dogs.
Scoop dog food into bowls, let dogs in, take muffins out of pantry. The child has decided choices are too difficult these days. Make child hot chocolate (new thing in the mornings).
Start husband's coffee. Grab pack of Pop Tarts for him.
Cut pieces of muffin for daughter's breakfast. Decision made.
Start preparing lunch. Figure it's easier than asking. Choices and all.
Grab snacks for lunch. Fill cup with water for school. Cup stinks. Water bottle instead.
Next K-cup for husband's coffee.
Put toothpaste on child's toothbrush. Yes. I know. I shouldn't. But GOOD LAWD if I don't it's another ten minutes, seriously.
Put knot genie on bathroom counter.
"Go brush hair and brush teeth." Repeat several times.
Ask child if she wants to wear boots or sneakers today. Choice again, decide screw that. Get child's sneakers. PUT SNEAKERS ON CHILD'S FEET.
Don't tell me you've never done it. I won't believe you. Some days it's all I have to not have her stand still and do everything because I do it faster.
Remind child to brush hair and teeth.
Give husband his coffee.
Go start brushing child's hair while she brushes her teeth. (You're not alone, mama whose daughter shouts IT HURTS before you've really even touched her hair. I feel you.)
Get backpack and *jacket*. Offer child a choice again, but know her answer before she gives it. Eenie Meenie Miney Moe. Here you go.
Head outside, help child into vehicle. Hand her hot chocolate (forgot step - put hot chocolate in travel mug safe for child and vehicle and husband's sanity while driving). Kiss child goodbye.
Go around front and kiss husband.
Wave from porch.
Go into house.
Close and lock door.
Morning note: Try not to drink anything stronger than coffee while old man dog Dexter drives me crazy requesting to go outside, come back in, go outside, come back in.
Make myself coffee. Eat piece of muffin. Spend lots and lots of time on the Internet.
Listen to Carrie Underwood and feel powerful. Sip coffee.
Check time. Not even TEN? Whew. I need a nap.
Motherhood's amazing, isn't it? I honestly wouldn't trade a moment of it, but I had to share anyway. It was like a play-by-play this morning and I knew it would make a perfect (to me, anyway, hope you enjoyed) blog post.
Now, where did I leave my coffee ...?