Saturday, July 6, 2013

Parenting is hard, yo.

Parenting is hard, yo.

Sometimes you find yourself bending over backwards to entertain, to keep them busy, to bring the fun and joy into it all.

And some days they listen. And do. And say 'Mommy, I love you,' from the back of the car and you smile and feel blessed. 

And some nights they cry out for you, and they have a fever and you worry and they need you and so you stay. 

All night. Sleeping or not, by their side. 

Glasses on. Pillows missing. An instant crick in your neck.

Choppy night but you wouldn't be anywhere else. 

And then they are better. Thank goodness.

And you take them to see the fireworks because they really want to go. They've been waiting for days. Weeks, even.

And the next day you go to the movies. And the baseball game. And eat popcorn and cotton candy and custard.

All the things you probably shouldn't give in on but you do.

And the day after that you make plans. And she shows she doesn't know how to listen. And you're done. 

And it sucks. 

So very much.

Because it's a really long weekend and you have plans. You want to go out on the water, take her fishing and ride the waves. You want to do all these things and more. 

But you're spent. You're exhausted. You're tired and you don't understand why she switches from on to off and off to on and never gives you warning. Or maybe you just missed it. The warning. There has to be one, right?

Because she's six. And you say that you expect this, and yet you expect more from a six-year-old, and yet you don't, right? I mean, what should you expect?

Sigh.

And you find yourself near tears because you just don't know. 

And then you feel guilty because you wonder if this is your fault.

Because she is only six, after all. 

And so you question whether you were too quick to react. Too overloaded. Maybe it was your husband. Maybe it was you. Maybe it was the two of you combined. 

Maybe it really was her. 

And so you come home, and you wait. You issue her instructions. Directions. Hopes she can follow and you can still have your plans later today. 

Because it sucks when you have to reprimand your kid and then you lose out, too. 

You're home and you're reading or writing when you'd rather be out on the water yourselves. 

But you can't. 

And so there you are. 

Grumbling. Stressing. Thinking. Holding back tears and making sure they don't fall. 

You don't need to be crying. You're okay. You will be fine. 

You all will. The three of you.

It just takes time. 

There will be bumps and bruises and bumbles along the way. 

But you'll expect them now. And even if you don't, you'll get through them. Past them. Over them. 

Parenting's hard, yo. 

But you can do it. 

And you will. 


10 comments:

Erin G said...

Days like that are so tough. It's okay to cry and be upset. Sorry it sucks right now. :/

KathyMorelli said...

Hey Andrea - Parenting is hard, we all make mistakes, second guess and then find out as we go there is wiggle room....take care, Kathy

Tracie Nall said...

Parenting is hard.

You captured it perfectly - there is no way to set parenthood aside, in its own little box, while you do other things.

But all of this, standing strong, taking those bumps as they come, is part of it. And you are doing all of it the best you can - and that is all that can be expected of you. Because your best? It is amazing. Even on the bumpy days when you are questioning yourself and longing for the water - your.best.is.amazing.

Robin @ Farewell, Stranger said...

Oh, I so know what you mean. Hard. So very hard. xx

andrea said...

Completely get all of this. It's not easy but you are right we all will get through it and there will be good days and not so good days. Hang in there mama. And as far as the switch goes? Oh my goodness, happy as can be one minute and incredibly pissed off the next!! My daughter does this too, you are not alone. Hugs.xo

Rach (DonutsMama) said...

I totally understand. Kids can be so unpredictable, but then I also have to remember that they are people too and sometimes (ok, a lot of the time right now!) I'm the one dragging my child along on my ride. And yes, it's so disappointing when you want to do something fun and they melt down and won't budge. So much push and pull.

The Dose of Reality said...

Yes, yes, YES!! This is just truth. And it doesn't matter if your kids are 6 or 16...that's just how it is. Sometimes everything is going so well and there is happiness and light, and then WITHOUT WARNING BAM...to mood has changed and there you are. It's HARD. You nailed it.

I think any parent who says they don't get frustrated and overreact and then wonder if they are doing things right is just lying. --Lisa

Stephanie said...

"Maybe it really was her. "

I giggled when I read this! Why? Because I've decided that most of the time it really it HIM!

Six. I hear it's a hard age (from the 6 year old). :D

Michelle said...

Amen. And then you'll get up tomorrow and wash, rinse, repeat. Again and again. Hang in there, my friend.

Theresa Lollis said...

Parenting is so freaking hard and none of the manuals are right. They make it out to be cotton candy and rainbows and never inform you that will find bits of glass and storms mixed in there....and that you will grow to appreciate the adorableness and love so much because if all the scary things. It's hard but it's the best thing ever....Most of the time :)

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