Friday, March 9, 2012

Am I a blogger?

It turns out it is perfect that I took a few days off this week and didn't post anything.

Nothing profound happened to make me take this time, except that Time Warner decided to cut our internet when really they were supposed to shut off our cable. So no home phone and no wireless and merely a connection now and then on my phone was how I kept in contact with the outside world.

It brought me back a little bit. Not entirely, but just a little.

And today - I looked at the date and laughed. Because today's date always means something to me. Even when it really doesn't mean anything to anyone else.

Today is my initial blog-i-versary. How do you spell that word, anyway? I'm fully expecting a blog dictionary to pop up in our world one of these years.

I say initial because for a short while I kept my posts private. I didn't go public as I didn't know if I should. I didn't feel *worthy* and I thought blogging might be something trivial I did to keep a journal for myself and well, I always kept handwritten journals and never wanted anyone to read them, so why would this be even one iota different?

Well, it was. It is. But you know that already.

Here is my very first post, from March 9th, 2009. Three years ago. THREE YEARS!

Am I a blogger? Honestly, I have NO idea. 


I've recently started blogging for the mommies' group I belong to, and it's (what was I thinking? It has. HAS!) inspired me to start my own blog. 

I went on to talk about the title (click the link if you want to read the three sentences I am not copying over because I am lazy), and yadda yadda.

And ended with a "here I am, my story will follow. Or it won't." and a "See ya when I see ya!"

It took me about a month or so before I went live. I just didn't know if I was up for it. If I wanted to join this world that was what I thought to be entirely virtual. I'd been there and done that, kind of. My mommies' group was almost entirely virtual, and it was great. But did I need new friends? Would they even BE friends? Could that be possible? I wasn't sure.

But one day I clicked that button. Nearly three years ago that I went live, and a solid three years since my very first post.

And I have made friends. Connections. Found support. Found emotions. Found so much more - you - I couldn't even begin to imagine.

Clicking those buttons three years ago has established a world for me I would have been remiss to ignore. I may never be one of those well-known bloggers whose names flash recognition in the eyes of others. I may never write something and get paid for it. I may never publish my fiction. But blogging has me WRITING again! Fiction, non-fiction, writing!!!

And even sharing some of what I have written.

Not just the real life, day to day, mommy musings and moments. Not just the fitspiration that I am suddenly stricken with to the point that I actual talk about exercise and food and motivation once a week. But writing words that I share with others to show them that I like to think I have some hidden talent deep within me. I can't recall the last time I shared fiction with anyone prior to blogging. The journals and type-written pages of poetry and emotion and made up characters with names like Samantha and Cassandra (Sammy and Cassie) of my hand-written youth and soap opera tendencies all have been hidden for years.

How long have you been writing - someone asks.

My entire life.

For as long as I can remember.

Always.

Forever.

But nobody ever really knew.

So I thank blogging for that. I thank the community for reading my words, drying my tears, sharing my laughter and emotion and showing me so much love.

And I am grateful for the lives I have been touched by and those I hope that I have even in some tiny, remote way, touched for just a moment.

And I thank you all for being here on the ride. It's been a great adventure thus far and one I plan to hang onto and yee-haw my way through as long as you'll have me. Or even after that. Because this is my space. My place. My world, too. And I belong here as much as the next guy. Or girl. Or whomever else decides they want to be here. And that's one of the final things I want to say about blogging - it's open to all. Nobody can be excluded. Nobody can make you FEEL left out. You just have to feel okay with putting yourself out there.

So yes. I can answer my own question three years later.

I'm a blogger - damnit. And I love being one.

Smooches ~~!


7 comments:

Nicole said...

I love this. You put it so eloquently. Blogging, for me, isn't just about writing. because like you said, I could that in a private journal. It's about making those connections with others and, as cheesy as it sounds, being part of a community.

I love blogging too. My only regret is not starting sooner!

Lisa @ Two Bears Farm said...

Well happy blogiversary! And HOORAY for getting your internet back!!! I was thinking you'd been mighty quiet this week ;-)

JMS said...

Happy Blogiversary!

Jenn and Casey said...

Happy Anniversary :)

Galit Breen said...

Happy blogiversary, you!

I'm so glad that you did go "live!"

(And I think that we all cringe at an early post or two!)

Secret Mom Thoughts said...

Happy blogiversary!

Jessica Marks said...

You friend, are a writer...an artist. The blog is your medium. <3

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