Wednesday, October 12, 2011

A Wordful Wednesday

My baby cousin got engaged this past weekend. And yes, I am completely allowed to call her my baby cousin because I was 16 years old when she was born. The first time I met her was at my Sweet 16 party. She was totally tiny and full of hope. She was beautiful. She is beautiful.

Sadly, I don't see my cousins quite as often as I used to, but a lot has changed over time. The photo below is probably the last picture I have with her (she is in the middle, with her oldest sister to the opposite side) and it was taken at my brother/SILs baby shower for my niece. I was pregnant, and my aunt insisted it was going to be a girl. She was one of the few.

That was the last time I saw my aunt and sadly I have no pictures of us together from that day. I probably rushed through my time with her, and somehow didn't get a shot of us together as we normally would. But as I say, time goes on, changes things, and so on and so forth. If you're a regular here you have read a lot about my aunt here in my 'hood. In March it will be three years since she left us. I remember ... and I do it quite often.

But today is for good things. Happy things. Happy thoughts.

I actually had a whole other post in my head and heart for today. A whole bunch of thoughts about being a mother and a wife. And yet - somehow - I drifted to another role in my life. That of cousin, niece. That which was so important to me.

I caught up with a family member's blog today, one I didn't know enough about until her mom told me. This is my husband's cousin's daughter's blog. Did you follow that? I know it's hard. But I saw some of her posts about family. And I want that for my child. I want the memories. I want the songs at random moments. The dancing in the living room. And above all else I want her to know and feel love. And I know that she will. But it also makes me think back to my own. And to what has been lost. And to what I miss. And to why.

And so I think how wonderful for my baby cousin. And I hope that my daughter and I will dance together at the wedding. My husband, too, of course. But I think of the light in my child's eyes as she watches a cousin she has barely gotten to know walk down the aisle in a pretty white dress. And I imagine her dancing with my niece and laughing. Loving. Living.

And I'll miss my aunt terribly. But I'll hope that somewhere - up there - she is laughing and loving us, too.

Congrats, little Foofalah. For that you will always be to me. xox

** I am planning to link up with Pour Your Heart Out today over at Shell's Place. Come by and say hi.**


  1. Congratulations to your cousin on the engagement. It's exciting to be a part of someone's life and see them grow into an adult. Best wishes to them.

  2. You know that she definitely is watching over all of you.
    Congrats to your cousin!!!

  3. Congrats to her!

    I think a lot about what I want for my boys- what sort of family life. They live far from their cousins and that makes me sad.

  4. My two girls only have two cousins, and we try so hard to get them together as often as we can - not always so easy in this vast country.
    But the excitement of seeing the cousins, of spending time with my brother and his wife - all blessings xxx

  5. oh wow! She is lovely. Congratulations to your bay cousin on her engagement! I'm sure her mom would be beside herself with joy!

  6. Time flies, doesn't it. Congrats to her and this post would have to make her smile. Her mom would too :)

  7. This is such a lovely tribute of love! I adore that the role that you chose to focus on- you are so loving and giving. That really shines through here!

    (I'm so sorry for your loss.)

    Love the photo, too!

  8. Your family sounds like a true blessing in your life. I hope your cousin will be blissfully happy!


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