I watched her as she sat, still, focused, unflinching.
She stared right out the windows and didn't move.
Did she even notice the way I was watching her?
She tilted her head a bit, popping her neck in that odd way she always had.
Was I even allowed to notice those things anymore? I had given up all rights to her and her eccentricities months ago. When I opened my mouth and said those stupid words. 'I don't think this is working,' my mind wandered back briefly.
I can remember watching her mouth moving and not truly hearing what it was she was saying. She seemed so ripped open. Shredded raw. That was then. Not now.
Did it even matter how much I regretted those words? Surely not. She had moved on. Look at her. How strong she is. How unmoved by my presence. If I weren't stuck here she wouldn't care. She'd be going about her business as always.
But I'm here. Why can't I just look at her simply, the way she looks at me now? Turning, pushing her hair behind her ear. Smiling, simply smiling.
"Matty?" she whispered.
"Uh, yeah? What's up?" I responded, clearing my throat mid-sentence.
"Are you okay?" I suppose I nodded. She smiled again. How I envied those who got to see that smile every day. The twinkle in her eyes. That deep and bright green all at once. "Okay, good." She seemed to be swallowing. Was that a tear? She wiped at her eyes. Wait, what was happening here? Was there a chance? Ah, she must be thinking of something. Or someone. Someone else.
Holy shit, she met someone else. She's thinking about him right now, isn't she? I hate him. I hate that bastard. Where is he, anyway? Why isn't he here while I am? How much can he even care about her if he's somewhere else when she needs him?
How stupid am I? How could I not think someone like her would move on?
Pretty freakin' stupid. Geez. She is so beautiful. Is she glowing? She might actually be glowing.
"Em?" She turned. Looked right at me. "What are you thinking right now?" She opened her mouth. Closed it. Shook her head slowly.
My throat burned. My heart felt like it was going to leap straight out of my chest. Of course she won't tell me. It's not my business. What an ass. I'm such an idiot. I took a deep breath and started towards her. "I'm sorry, Em. I'm so, so sorry."
** This post is in response to the Red Dress Club's Jealousy prompt. To find out more about this story, please click here and read up on these characters. As always, constructive criticism is welcomed. **