At the refrigerator ... Pull up a chair.
That is one of the most recent books I have read. Actually, it's a re-read for me. I read it many moons ago, in what I'd call another life. Does everyone have those? That feeling that you used to be a totally different person, all the while still being YOU? Odd, maybe, but I have improved greatly from the me of many years ago.
Enough therapy can do that for a person. ;)
I have learned, over time, that I can be happy being me. I can be comfortable in my own skin, despite wishing there were less of me within it. I have recognized that I do not need to follow the strictest of diets while living my life, as I tend to fail on those anyway, and hate myself more afterward.
I learned to be comfortable being ME. To recognize I can wear pretty things, find clothing that flatters my body, and be happy wearing them. I can wear RED. I can wear bright colors. Black, white and blue are not the only colors an overweight woman can wear.
I've learned that it's okay to say overweight. It's even okay to say FAT. But man, I hate that word. Just too much history with it, I guess. I often refer to myself as chubby. That's cool, right? I am a short and chubby girl. Who is a mom, a friend, a sister, a daughter and a wife. A therapist, a volunteer, a writer and a reader. A blogger, too, of course. These are the me-s of today. The me-s that I've become as my life has moved along, while I watched the old/younger me fade away.
So reflecting back while reading this book was an interesting experience for me. I remembered my younger self. Funny, I almost said old self, but she wasn't old at all. Anyway, I knew that girl, I was that girl, I struggled with being that girl. I spent some time in therapy recognizing what was wrong with that girl, and started to understand there wasn't really anything wrong with her, she just kept herself down for too long.
So she got married, finished her master's degree, found a job, moved forward. Lived her life. And suddenly realized that she loved who she was. Who she is. And still does.
On the days that I feel like sh!t and think to myself, 'What is WRONG with me?' and 'Why can I not ...' (fill in the blank) I remind myself of that girl I found so many years ago. And I remind myself that she is still here. She is still me.
Sometimes an old book reminds me that the world will not fall apart if I eat ice cream every night, chocolate every day, and cookies now and then. The world will not implode on me if I don't document everything I put in my mouth. If I don't step on a scale weekly to monitor my poundage. Is that even a real word? Poundage? It sounds so (forgive the pun) heavy, doesn't it?
So, I thank Geneen Roth for her book that I pulled back out recently, read and devoured, and reminded myself that I could still be that girl, only now she's a mother, a positive example for her little girl, someone who wants to provide a constant reminder that she is beautiful, she is perfect, she is amazing, JUST AS SHE IS.
And so are we. The lot of us. All of us. For all our imperfections, for all our struggles and concerns, for all of the body image issues, we are who we are. And we are WOMEN! Hear us ROAR!
** And for all the men out there who may be reading this, may you find that same strength within you, as well, because a man with some meat on his bones is a man, indeed! ;)**