Monday, January 9, 2017

Living With Heartache

Sometimes I forget that this is my space.

I think too much and too hard and forget that I can write whatever I want here.

And so, sometimes I take to social media and share thoughts with friends and then think, oh, I could totally share that with my readers. because I hope that my readers are people like me. people with heart. people who feel pain. people who know and see and believe.

Today I posted on Facebook about the four young lives lost in Israel. The four children. Babies, practically. 20. 20. 22. 20.

What? How? Impossible.

And so I decided to share this here. Because this IS my space and because I will not live in fear of raising my voice. About Israel. About the United States. About anywhere.

Because my heart breaks every time I see another life lost. Why am I choosing to share now? I don't know. Some days I just find myself exhausted from all the pain and I stop. I pause. I don't want to bring more negative news into the virtual world. I want an escape. But there is no real escape. No true escape from it.

As a Jewish woman living in America my heart hurts every time I see a post about anti-semitic graffiti, menorahs turned into swastikas, Jewish places of worship shattered.

But I do not forget the men and women in Israel who live with this every single day. I do not forget the men and women of color in our own country who deal with the same. Those of other religions who I stand with as they live in fear. All of these women and men. I raise my voice - likely not often enough - but sometimes there are just no right words. I look and I think and I hope they will stand with me too if needed.

These days are awful. Horrible. Filled with unrest. And so, for this moment, just a single moment in my day, I choose to look at the light. I choose to try to remember these four lives, lost way too soon, and the light they brought to others in their 20 or so years. BDE. May their memory forever be a blessing to those who knew and loved them.

And may we all see so much less of this kind of senseless violence in the year ahead.


  1. Oh you know my heart is breaking along with yours. It's all so senseless.

  2. I used to fear I would become numb to senseless loss and then I remember the horrific violence 2 of my loved ones were victims of, one losing his life, and her losing her spirit and will to live. When I realize there are loved ones grieving every time one of these senseless murders happen I realize I will never be numb to it, it will always hurt.
    For me, I have to force myself to do something, anything kind for anyone, immediately in the wake of these tragedies. We have to be the change.

  3. Like you, I feel as if I'm on overload some days. But we can't zone out (well, maybe now and then, just to help us stay sane and regroup). Your post is such an eloquent summation of what so many of us feel. And what we must never forget.

  4. Andrea, I'm here for you whenever you need a friend and though I sound like a JT song, I
    mean it. Friendship can get us through days when we count our blessings but do so with
    tears in our eyes. Hugs, Beth Havey

  5. Please know you do not stand alone. Israel does not stand alone. You are God's chosen people.

    Related thought for you, I saw your original post today. And my heart cried. It cries now. The company my husband works for is run by a Jewish woman. She raised her nephew entirely here in the USA, but he decided a few years ago to go back to Israel. He served in the army there and has fallen in love with his home country.

    Israel does not stand alone.

  6. There is so much stress, overwhelm, anxiety and suffering all around. Makes you wonder at time what is the purpose of it all. And is there any hope? The good news is there is hope. I agree with Beth, reaching out can help. Happiness when shared, doubles. Heartache when shared, gets cut in half.


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