Monday, November 14, 2016

For Whom Do You Weep?


I sit here at my laptop, tears streaming down my face as I listen to the Hamilton Mixtape.

I weep. Openly. Loudly.

I sob.

Yes. Sob.

I try, every single day, I try to look for the silver linings.

And then - yesterday - we learn about some of the soon-to-be appointed staff members of our President-elect. And dear G-d. I'm terrified.

TERRIFIED.

My friends, my people, I know, you look at me and see a white woman. And that is fine. I am. That is who I am. But I am also a Jewish woman.

And while that is not the most visible of prejudices being shown around our country right now it's there. Damn it. It's THERE.

If you don't see it, please, look deeper. Look within yourselves. LOOK.

CAN YOU SEE IT NOW?

I stand with my friends of color who are struggling and fighting to be seen. I stand with my friends of mixed heritage who may pass (in their own words) as white, but feel the same hurt. The same pain. And I stand with my white friends as they band together to support the people in their lives who are visibly targeted. I STAND WITH YOU.

Can you see me? Will you stand with me, too?

Because right now - every day - but right now, more than ever, we're under scrutiny.

I am under the evil eye. And I won't sit by and let it happen. I won't. I can't.

CANNOT.

What do I do? How do I make it through this?

How do we stop this? It's so terrifying. Devastating. So damned sad.

I am here for you, my friends. I speak up.

Please remember me and mine. Please remember I'm here. And I'm being 100% honest with you right now. I'm scared. I've been scared for you. I've been scared for so many. And yes, I've been scared for myself, sure. As a woman I know fear. We all do. And watching the normalization of horrific behaviors of men towards women, perhaps even women towards other women? It's been awful. It has. And I know that my fears there, as a straight, married, white woman - I know they're not the same as what you feel. I know it. I accept it. I own it.

But goodness, can you see me? I'm afraid, too.

And I just needed to say so.

5 comments:

Linda said...

I stand with you. So many of us in the blogosphere stand with you. Breathe. Live. Don't let the bastards suck the joy and camaraderie from us.

Joan Stommen said...

Beautiful...sharing your deepest fears and highest hopes! Well done, my friend! Goodness; please read this...please hears our hearts.

Kelli Williams said...

I'm with you girl. It's been an anxiety ridden, frustrating week. Trying to find the good. But it's so damn hard right now. It's a struggle... and it's even tougher when we're shamed for feeling the way we're feeling. Know I'm feeling it. I'm with you.

Pat said...

I stand with you and I want you to know that my international community stands with you too. http://pattymackz.com/wordpress/new/2016/11/14/american-election-an-expat-perspective/

Jenny Gaskell said...

I love you. I stand with you my friend. Holding you in light and love.

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