1. I do everything wrong.
No, I mean it, I do. Everything. Wrong. To the point that I sometimes bring my child to tears. How this is possible I have no idea. But apparently it's happening. On the regular.
2. There's no time.
Between getting off of the bus at around 5pm every day - yes - you read that right - FIVE PM. EVERY. DAY. - and every minute from when she walks in the door it seems like we're doing homework forever. After school activities? Sure. But we're probably going to finish homework AFTER the after school activities. Forget about playing outside before the sun sets, cause that's just out of the question.
3. I'm old.
I mean it. I'm 42 years old. I don't remember if a trapezoid has four sides or five (or six? Whatevs!). Or if a parallelogram even exists. It's been a long long time since I used that stuff. Give me something way simpler and I'm your gal. (See how old I am? I say "gal".)
Okay, so maybe this isn't necessarily homework related, but projects for sure. And research. And oooh, boy. We have to be on top of that. Because if your kid finds herself on the laptop googling something like what did Calamity Jane do for work you *might* end up with some unsavory results. [This may or may not have already happened.]
Honestly, friends, homework time is when I most need coffee. Except it's obviously not the best time to drink it, what with dinner rapidly approaching and bedtime hopefully not too long after that. But I drink it anyway. And then I wonder why it's 1AM and I'm wide awake. Bright-eyed and bushy tailed, scouring the Internet.
6. The pencil sharpener.
I was so so so glad that we found batteries for that thing. And then I wasn't. At all. It's the most grating sound in the universe, especially when you're trying to communicate to your child that she must get her homework done and ENOUGH WITH THE SHARPENING OF ALL THE PENCILS ALREADY AS YOU ONLY NEED ONE!!!
Impossible to get done while you're required to stick to the child's side as she avoids doing much of her homework. Yes, yes. I know. She's seven. She can do it on her own. And that's fine. But you know the minute I walk away from the table she is going to be doing something else. Somehow. But thank goodness for the crockpot. For serious.
Maybe it's me. Maybe I feel like I NEED to be beside her to ensure she gets it done. Maybe it's my own anxiety that if I walk away she's going to go off on a tangent. Or maybe it's my smart mommy sense that reminds me that in the past that's exactly what has happened. Ah, yes. That's probably it.
9. The husband.
We're have different approaches when it comes to homework. Different doesn't mean bad. Different just means different. So, let's just say it's a good thing we weren't classmates as children and leave it at that, shall we?
10. Do we really need a number 10? Can't I just say all of the above and leave it at that? I mean, it's 6:32 pm and I'm ready for pajamas. That has to be enough, right?