Monday, September 13, 2010

FYL Blog Hop: Meet Rikki!

Come on in, readers and meet my new friend Rikki. She's agreed to guest post for me today as I participate in Week 2 of the Friends You Love Blog Hop!

Screw You Dove

So I love to yell at the TV. My favorite shows to yell at are on the Food Network, but that’s another post. Today I’m going to yell at the TV about commercials.

** Sidenote, it's Andrea - Huge apologies in advance, I had the videos embedded but they were showing up SO huge that they were throwing off the sync of my blog page so I had to change them to links! Sorry! **

Screw You Dove Chocolate

Who needs daily affirmations from food? Seriously. If I’m the kind of person who needs help with my self esteem I doubt that an “uplifting message” in the wrapper of the chocolate that I’m shoving into my face while crying is going to help. Get a therapist, reading all the wrappers you have laying around you (reminding you of how much you really just ate) will not help.

Screw You Saab

If I had the magic powers of creating miniature live animals, trees, light bulbs and car parts out of paper I would not be designing cars. Especially cars that no one buys. Not to mention this commercial does not tell me why I want a Saab. Is it made of pine cones and moose? If I had those magic powers, I would create the world's largest miniature zoo, I'd start a car parts supply chain and furnish the cheapest light bulbs to all the major big box stores while raking in the cash and living on my own private island. I'd also create a herd of tiny, tiny cows for my own amusement and let them roam my private island. Tiny cows are a big deal to me, but that's also another post.

Screw You Pop Tarts

Whose kid wakes up like that?!? Nobody’s, that who. “They’ll rise and you’ll shine” my butt. Listen up Mom: Pop Tarts will not make you a better mom; shoving a food-like brick into the toaster will not make your kid a morning person or make you feel like you’re doing some incredible parenting. Have you seen the expiration date on those things? Two year shelf life on average! Made with real fruit? I think not. Also, they pitch this “made with real fruit” thing so hard but what in the heck it the outside part made of?

Screw You Anti-Meth Ads

I’ve never wanted to do methamphetamines. Until I saw this commercial. Yes, she’s battered and bruised and looks terrible but obviously she has gained the power to time travel! I want to time travel. Do the risks outweigh the benefits? I’m not totally sure.

(And thanks to JP, fiancé and all around awesome dude, for turning me on to the incredible super powers this meth commercial offers.)

***Seriously kids, don’t do the drugs***

Screw You Dove Soap

Dove says, “Hey you, we think you’re pretty just as you are, they don’t, they want you to change yourself, they think you’re ugly. Do want to give them the satisfaction? Then buy our soaps and stuff!”

Who exactly are “THEY”? Why do they think I’m ugly? What did I ever do to them and why does a soap company have to defend me? It’s my giant ears. They found out about my freakishly large ears and now they hate me. They think I’m a pale, short, chubby, ugly girl with over-sized man ears and they’re out to get me.

I need some chocolate.

About the Author:

Rikki is one of the most preeminent authorities on pie living today. To find out more about this incredible author visit and drop her a line while you’re at it. She lives for your approval.

Also, check out her blog at for funny “About the Authors” that Rikki’s friends have written.


  1. Well, I guess this makes me glad I don't have tv ;-)

  2. lmao! I hate commercials, and Im always yelling at them too. Especially the anti smoking ones. They make me want to smoke for crying out loud!!

  3. Haha, love these!

    I find myself yelling at commercials too.

    Especially that Pop Tart one.

  4. You have a great blog!! I am really enjoying looking around. Thanks for sharing!! I am now a new follower!! Nicole @ BTW I found you on a blog hop!


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