Thursday, August 13, 2009

TV for Preschoolers

I confess, I have some questions about some of the shows out there for our preschool children. Some of the characters are questionable, some are missing (!) and some, well, some are just plain annoying. I'll start off with Noggin ...

* Max & Ruby -- Do I really have to say more? I mean, where are their parents? What's up with the Grandmother who only comes by once in a blue moon? Why is Ruby such a b!tch? And Max, how old is he, anyway? Because as sneaky and crafty and smart as he is, he really should have a larger vocabulary. Shouldn't he?

* Dora the Explorer -- While my daughter and I love Dora with abandon, does she really have to be so d@mned LOUD? I mean, tone it down, chica, we HEAR you. And what's up with her parents? Are they so busy with the new twins that they don't care if their daughter is off running through the jungle or wherever with her best friend, the monkey?

* Franklin -- There are two things I can say about Franklin, one would go on and on about how he is the whiniest character on Noggin [even worse than Oswald, seriously, Fred Savage has nothing on this guy!] and the other is about how he is the only one of his friends with an actual name. Turtle = Franklin; Bear = Bear; Beaver = Beaver; Fox = Fox; Snail = Snail. I know there is at least one or two more, but really. Come on! Give the teacher a name, at least! (Owl = Mr. Owl!)

* Diego -- Almost as loud as Dora, but with his big sister Alicia on his back all the time he's a bit calmer. And the parents? MIA, as are most Noggin parents, except for Ms. Spider [Charlotte from S&TC, if you didn't know!] and Holly. Diego seems to sing the same songs over and over for various rescue journeys, and that kind of grates at me a bit. Plus, on at least one movie/episode where he and Dora were together he was like 5-feet-tall. Seriously. Huge!

* Toot and Puddle -- How old are these two? Are they a couple? Are they friends? Do they have families? What's the deal with their little friend/cousin, what's'ername? April? Or is she Olivia? That other friendly lil girl pig on Nick/Noggin ... And where do they get the money for their trips? I want in on that action!

* Oobi -- Does ANYONE watch this scary show? I saw it once when my daughter was a baby and it was on during the night. Scared the cr@p out of me. A hand with eyeballs on it. Totally wrong.

* The Upside Down Show -- I kind of like these weird guys, but have to ask, what exactly are they on?

Oh! And how could I forget our favorite?

* The Backyardigans! We love these guys. They're so creative and so much fun, and they, too, roam unsupervised throughout their yards and their imaginations. Pablo is our favorite, but he's kind of wimpy. My husband thinks that Tasha is a huge b!tch (and come on, she usually is) and poor Austin isn't even on half the time. Tyrone and Uniqua are the most normal of the crew, and that's not saying much. And yet, we love them. We listen to their CDs, we watch them over and over again. They're our best friends.

Now, onto Disney ...

* Mickey Mouse Clubhouse -- My daughter absolutely loves this show. Almost too much. She wants Mickey several times a day and I might lose my mind if I have to hear "Oh, Toodles!" shouted at me from across the room one more time. My big question is how lazy are the Mouse and his friends that they have those hands open the doors for them? And where can I get magic hands like those to do the chores around my house for me?

* Handy Manny -- Love him. Can you even believe that Manny is Fez? Or, I should say, that Fez is Manny? Love it! Love the tools. My only problem here is that Manny and Kelly really should get together already. They're the cutest couple, and they'd make one another very happy, each always has what the other needs. What more could a couple ask for?

* Special Agent Oso -- My gawd, I hate this show. This friendly bear makes me so sad for "Rudy" that he has resorted to this kind of role. Poor guy. Oso is really, really stupid. He never remembers anything, always has to help some kid do something really simple, and never even knows how to do it! I'm pretty glad my daughter isn't the hugest fan. Whew!

I know there are more, but I am a little worried about myself and the fact that I have put this much thought into these shows. But hey, when you have a 2 1/2-year-old, what choice do you have?

Anyway, thanks for *listening* to my rant about the shows I come to love and hate all at once. Which ones are your faves?


  1. this is an awesome post.

    have you seen the SNL sketch spoof on maraca.

  2. Have you noticed that most disney movies only show one parent (if any at all) and the other parent usually meets some horrible death certain to scar you for life ;)

    We don't watch a lot...The 6 year old like Spongebob (or Bobbob as the 1 year old calls it, sad sad sad)and iCarly...and yea, okay maybe I watch it too! I DVR Jack's Big Music show b/c for whatever reason it's on at 11 and 11:30 PM. come on Noggin!!

  3. OMG This was so funny!! I have always wondered where Max and Ruby's parents are!!


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