tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6208706644410714856.post1571536826413070292..comments2024-03-05T05:39:54.907-05:00Comments on Good Girl Gone Redneck: What's for breakfast?Andreahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06972798018825603047noreply@blogger.comBlogger13125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6208706644410714856.post-81736910451954646962011-03-28T12:50:45.238-04:002011-03-28T12:50:45.238-04:00Thanks to everyone for the comments. I think that ...Thanks to everyone for the comments. I think that you've all given me some great feedback and I may actually make a few adjustments shortly. <br /><br />Nancy's comment hit it on the head for me, if I continue the counting or give some transition, then the discussion becomes more clear and we know who is talking when. I'm so excited for her idea I'm going to have to snag it! ;)<brAndreahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06972798018825603047noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6208706644410714856.post-54947547614977675232011-03-27T12:06:23.826-04:002011-03-27T12:06:23.826-04:00I loved the flashback. How he swept her away. How ...I loved the flashback. How he swept her away. How she fought his charm, and lost. <br /><br />I feel the tension as well, and the unspoken pain. It's so hard to act "natural" when you're dying inside, and you capture that well. <br /><br />Agree with the concrit regarding the transitions back for the flashback. Perhaps beef up the object(in this case, the donut) that triggered Nancy Chttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04313721217543578257noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6208706644410714856.post-90429399598095184162011-03-26T19:22:40.480-04:002011-03-26T19:22:40.480-04:00So, you can keep writing now! I really need to kno...So, you can keep writing now! I really need to know what the heck is going on?!amygrewhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10655920157645555504noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6208706644410714856.post-61024105417233615212011-03-26T01:27:47.027-04:002011-03-26T01:27:47.027-04:00Well, you've hooked me. Can't wait to see ...Well, you've hooked me. Can't wait to see where this is going...<br /><br />I had some issues following along after the memory. I wasn't sure who was talking when.<br /><br />But seriously, this was an awesome post. Please tell me there's more...Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6208706644410714856.post-13810144341882901532011-03-25T23:45:42.664-04:002011-03-25T23:45:42.664-04:00You definitely left me wanting more, to see what w...You definitely left me wanting more, to see what was going to happen.<br /><br />I think what would've helped the dialogue in the middle is to attribute some of the quotes. I didn't know who was talking.<br /><br />I loved the tension between these two!Cherylhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14025221975648580117noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6208706644410714856.post-4059126434806924352011-03-25T21:06:01.322-04:002011-03-25T21:06:01.322-04:00The tension between them is tingly. I loved it. It...The tension between them is tingly. I loved it. It made me smile when she called her cats "traitors". <br /><br />Would love to hear more from them, thanks for sharing-Tanyahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14370397738561137535noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6208706644410714856.post-88334507199006736142011-03-25T20:50:10.625-04:002011-03-25T20:50:10.625-04:00I am with the others, curious to find out if there...I am with the others, curious to find out if there is more to read. It is intriguing.<br /><br />The unspoken words between the two of them..Jack Steinerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16625864271071630940noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6208706644410714856.post-38867247632535936882011-03-25T19:58:41.236-04:002011-03-25T19:58:41.236-04:00The dialogue was great. You did a nice job making ...The dialogue was great. You did a nice job making it very believable. I also really liked how sensual it was. It made me feel like I was there and heightened the tension.<br /><br />I also got a bit confused in the middle. But I think that's because of the word limit. <br /><br />I'd love to hear more about these two. <br /><br />Visiting from TRDCAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6208706644410714856.post-56750824469047829092011-03-25T16:20:01.281-04:002011-03-25T16:20:01.281-04:00I think I need to reread the other parts! But, the...I think I need to reread the other parts! But, there is such a feeling of sadness and maybe some longing in this.Shellhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06811697675090627618noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6208706644410714856.post-33960729686344381372011-03-25T16:14:45.807-04:002011-03-25T16:14:45.807-04:00I agree with Jessica, I did get confused a little ...I agree with Jessica, I did get confused a little bit. I had to reread to figure that part out. However, the rest was fantastic, and I really felt the tension. Sucked right in immediately. That's hard to do Momma!adrienzgirlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00189335015566616247noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6208706644410714856.post-3119286920362830952011-03-25T15:58:07.513-04:002011-03-25T15:58:07.513-04:00I loved this! I loved all the tension you built in...I loved this! I loved all the tension you built in and it made me wonder what happened to them, since they seem so good together. <br /><br />Your dialogue is great, very realistic and I loved how we get to see inside her head when he's hitting on her. I did get confused when she came out of the memory and started talking about the doughnuts. I wasn't quite sure who was talking at that Jessica Annehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11331090466541120750noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6208706644410714856.post-80381714878215833972011-03-25T07:10:22.527-04:002011-03-25T07:10:22.527-04:00Does this connect with some of your other pieces? ...Does this connect with some of your other pieces? It seems to have a similar tone. I really love your last line about smelling him.Lisa @ Two Bears Farmhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03464839163693785901noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6208706644410714856.post-60534726188102410242011-03-25T06:14:24.385-04:002011-03-25T06:14:24.385-04:00Gracious me, Girl! You are good!Gracious me, Girl! You are good!Sorta Southern Single Momhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14349718837546442408noreply@blogger.com