The ship that never sails away...

F is for the Fun we have together.

It seems that no matter how far apart we are, or how infrequently we speak, we have so much fun when we're together. So much laughter, so much emotion, and so much love.

R is for the REAL friendship we have.

Reality sets in and our lives keep us busy. But we're still close. We're still true to one another, to the years we've shared and the many we will see together as we grow old.

I is for the Intimate moments.

You're the friend who has seen me at my worst. Seen the tears streaming down my face. Seen me at a loss, of love, relationships, friendships, family members. You're the friend who knows me better than most. And for that I'm forever grateful.

E is for Everything we've been through.

How much more can we experience together? We're grown women now, mothers with children. And there is so much more we go through and it isn't always together. But we've spent many a phone call just sorting through our lives and knowing we've been through so much, and will always be around to face the future together.

N is for Never.

As in I never want to lose what we have. Ever.

D is for Dedication.

That's how I feel. Dedicated to our relationship with hopes it will stay strong, never play those foolish games and never turn to a point that we lose sight of who we actually are.

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It's Sunday - you know what that means!

It's time for me to check in again.

I haven't weighed myself yet (writing this on Saturday night to get myself a head start). I am waiting for the Papa John's delivery guy to arrive. Did you know that 1 slice of Papa John's pizza thin crust is 230 calories? And if you go with the regular crust it's 290? That's for a large pizza - of course. I guess I'm pretty glad I like me some thin crust. Yum. I also add tomatoes and extra sauce to pump myself with lots of good antioxidants or whatever else I can benefit from. Helps me feel less crappy for indulging in fast and not-homemade foods.

So, this week I did a few workouts, a few random walks, and a few random other things, too:

Monday: I did some stretching in AM with my new resistance bands, which I sadly have not really used since then. Whoops. And then I did a 1 mile WATP workout.

Tuesday: C25K walk/run (Week 1); 10 mins Denise Austin cardio (which totally reminded me why I gave up on Denise Austin many moons ago. She's annoying as all heck!)

Wednesday: I skipped working out.


Thursday: Did a 20 minute walk/cardio while watching TV. I had great intentions and had recorded two new workout shows. 1/2 hr each. High hopes. And then I played the first one and it was some chick who was instructing some big and buff workout dude on push-ups. Nay. No thank you. Then I started the other one, kept watching even though she spoke about weights and I didn't have any. BUT when she started getting into talking about the soul and stuff, well, sorry. I had to turn it off. I have my own religious beliefs, but start quoting psalms at me while I'm trying to stay motivated on the road to fitness and we have to part ways. Seriously. Negative.

On Friday it was BEAUTIFUL out. So nice. Kiddo and I were outside for like an hour, so I counted that as an "average" 30 minute walk. Most of the time she was on her scooter and I was walking behind or beside her, so that was nice. Plus the fresh air and sunshine totally rocked.

Then today (Sat) I got outside early and did a C25K walk/run (Week 1). I am figuring on starting Week 2 officially next week. I think about 2-3 or so weeks of Week 1 is enough, don't you? Or at least I sure as heck hope so!

And if you don't follow me on Twitter (and why don't you - I must ask?) then you don't know that Bella are my Skele-Toes. She ate the straps off them last night and I am so saddened that this happened, BUT I am trying to stay positive and just stick to my sneakers. But if anyone knows a honcho over at Fila or any sports shoe store - lemme know. I would love another pair. Or love to try Vibrams. I'll sell myself for a pair. I'll even do a beautiful review and everything. Of course I had FINALLY done the C25K in them and they were faring well. Sigh. C'est la vie, right?

What's been up with all of you? How's January treated you so far? Any motivational resolutions for the coming month? Can you believe we're already this far into 2012?
** As always images obtained on Pinterest. Motivation is at your fingertips when you're there. Come join me!**

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Folly Beach ~ Book Review

My first introduction to Folly Beach was some time ago when I read a book with a similar name. So when I saw that there was a story by Dorothea Benton Frank about the loveable place - I had to check it out.

If I am being honest (which I always am, I hope you know!) it really took me some time to get into the story. The initial scenes from the play were nearly impossible to understand. Not so much the writing, but the purpose. Why was I jumping back and forth between a character like Cate to a woman who came up out of her grave? Was this a dream? Where WAS I? Where had Ms. Frank actually planned on taking us?

It really took me a while to get through this book because of this initial stuff. Once I passed some of it and made the connection, things started to come together. The story started to fly by.

Let me tell you more - and - as always - I'll take care not to give too much away!

Cate is the primary character of the novel, and we meet her after her horrific husband has committed suicide over her beloved piano. We find out what a swindler he was, how much he has taken from her and her family, and what little remains for her to move forward with.

But Cate has a favorite Aunt Daisy who lives on Folly Beach with her lovely Ella and is more than ready to welcome in her niece with open arms. We follow Cate home to Folly - the place she grew up - and join her on her journey to finding herself. I can't even say again, as it seems like she never truly found herself in her marriage. She is a mom, and loves her children (grown - one about to have a child of his own), but isn't true enough to herself to feel real.

The fold in of the story of Dorothy and Dubose is an interesting one. As I mentioned, it doesn't take hold of you as a reader until the stories twine together. Ms. Frank did a great job at culminating in a point where the connection made sense. For a while I felt strung along - confused - but then I recognized that as it came clear for Cate, it came clear for us, as well.

Overall I would say I enjoyed the book. Enough to make me comfortable picking up another of her stories, but not necessarily enough to seek out her next novel. Not until I know more about it, anyway.

Thanks to TLC Tours for a copy of this book to facilitate my review. All opinions expressed are entirely my own. I was not compensated for posting this review in any way.

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Matt and Em ...

This story picks up somewhere in the middle for Matt and Em. The rest of their story is here, which includes some flashbacks. Write on Edge said to work on something that needed polishing, and for me it was this transition. I have been putting this post on the back-burner. Avoiding these two characters for too long. So here they are. I hope you enjoy. Constructive criticism is always welcome. Thanks.

His hand felt cold and clammy on mine. We sat there - silently - in the car.

He didn't start her up. He didn't buckle in. Nothing.

"Matt?" A few blinks before he faced me. "You okay?" He smiled. That sheepish grin I knew so well.

"We're having a baby."

"Yes, well ..."

"We're HAVING a baby!"

"I know. I was there."

"Holy crap, Em. You're pregnant." His hand tightened around mine.

I fought the urge to flee. I couldn't, of course. Wouldn't. But I wanted to. "Matt, listen," I stopped. Were those tears? What the - TEARS? Was he crying? He used his sleeve to wipe his face. Shit. He was crying.

"I just can't believe it, Em. After everything we've been through - a baby. We're hav-"

"Yes. I know. I know. Actually, I'M the one who is..." I watched his face cloud over and tried doing damage control. "Well, you know. It's in here." I looked down at my stomach. MY stomach. Traitor! I flinched at my own thoughts.

"Em, it's amazing. Aren't you happy? Isn't this amazing? We have so much to do. A baby. Wow. A baby." He continued on. Talking quickly but softly, his words a jumble.

"We should get going." I interrupted.

"Em?"

"I'd like to go home now, if we could. Get moving." I plastered on a smile, but I knew he knew.

"You're not happy?"

"Matt, this is a LOT to think about. I just need ... It's a surprise, ya know? I mean, we didn't plan - I didn't think - we weren't expecting." Sigh. How the hell do I say this anyway? "I just need some time."

"You what?"

"Time. I need some time to think." I reached for his arm as he turned to buckle himself in. He nodded. Stiffened beneath my touch.

"Think," he whispered. Was that a question or an understanding?

"Yeah - I just, if you could drop me off at home I'm just really exhausted and I -"

"That's fine, Em. Fine." His words trailed off as he leaned forward and started the engine. Puffs of smoke drifted up around us and our windows began to fog. I sat still, too frozen in fear and emotion to reach for the heat. "Let's get you home."


p.s. Stay tuned. I have the next part of their story already written in response to a WOE prompt from December. I never posted it as I wasn't sure it was ready. It's kind of empty, but I think it sort of fits for Em and where she is at this point. I'll share it soon ...

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Let Me Potty in Peace!

Seriously. First off - you know I have a young-ish child since I'm using the word potty. Or should I say still using it? Either way, you get me - yes?

She'll be 5 next month.

I try to say "Do you have to go to the bathroom?" but it almost always turns into, "Do you have to go potty?" I don't know why that is - it just IS.

So here I am, this morning, wishing for a few minutes to myself while struggling with the fact that she woke up before nine ... and yes, call me lucky, think whatever you'd like of me, but the kid doesn't go to bed til after ten. And that would be early.

It stinks.

Please don't lecture me on stricter bedtimes, a tighter schedule, so on and so forth. We've tried. Them all. She's a night owl like her mother. Can't seem to stop talking or shut her brain off to get to sleep. Everyone says that will change when she goes to school, but me? I'm not so sure. She's too much like me for me to believe that so when the time comes I'm just going to have to will it to happen. That oughta work, right?

Back to the potty. You know you want to go back there. Sigh. I wish I could. Maybe I'd have a few minutes of quiet time and/or privacy. Without a child talking to me, cracking open the door or causing mayhem right outside of it (that would be what happened this morning). It's enough that when she IS asleep I have to shut the dogs outside as our puppy tends to stick her nose in as if to say - hey, what's going on here and why can't I be a part of it?

Seriously, dog? I know the way you make friends is to sniff other doggie butts and pee and poop and all. But mine? Off limits.

Anyway, where was I?

Oh, yes. Privacy on the potty. Does it ever happen again? To those with older children, do you ever have that ten minutes? Five? The ability to stretch it out and actually read a chapter or two? Oh, come on. If you're a mom or dad you likely know what it's like to try to escape behind the door with the current book or magazine and hopes you'll actually get through some of it, right?

Sigh.

Dreaming of potty time. It's not just for kids (or parents dreaming that their kids will finally get to the potty and drop the diapers, saving them money on seemingly useless and non-bio-degradable landfill directed products) anymore.

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Who doesn't love cozy slippers?

I received an email recently from LoveSac offering me an opportunity to review their cozy slippers. Normally I'd think over an offer (I did), check out their website (I did), and their other products (did that, too!). Then I'd think about it a bit. (I did that, as well.)

Then I usually think some more. But I'll be honest. These slippers looked so cozy, I couldn't help but say yes.

LoveSac is an alternative furniture company with lots of cool stuff on their website. From couches to beanbag-like chairs (the original LoveSac), to blankets and slippers - their goal is to create things that bring you comfort.

So, back to the slippers.

First of all - look at how pretty they were packaged:


I thought of it as a beautiful present just for me. And then I tried them on. Cozy beyond words. I'm all about pampering my feet, and they're so comfortable I couldn't be happier. I will admit to sweating in them a little bit. Not so much a negative, but after a while I had to take them off to let my toes breathe. Sorry. I'm not a foot fan, so believe me, talking about them is no picnic. I'm just trying to be honest in my review. Could be that I just wasn't used to having my feet closed up this way. But the plushness of the insoles of these slippers was well worth the test run. I am keeping them hidden so the dogs don't turn them into chew toys and so the cats don't - well - let's just say take them for themselves, alright?



And if you couldn't guess by the picture below - even my daughter loved them and had to give them a try. But now they're all mine!


Take a look here for complete details on these cozy comforts. Regularly priced at $59, they appear to be on sale for $39 right now. And they come in a really cute green. And while true that I'd probably have fared better with the darker color as I'm afraid of these picking up the fur that sneaks away from my broom. - it's okay because they're COZY!

So if you're interested check them out. And the comfy pillows and other items they have on their site. While it might not be something you'd spend on for yourself, I'm sure there is someone you love whose feet you'd love to pamper. So check them out as a great gift option for your mom, dad, grandparent or significant other. And if you're so inclined, get a pair for you. You'll be glad you did!

** I received a pair of these slippers from LoveSac to facilitate this review. All expressed opinions are strictly my own. **

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Another week, another update!

So, here I am again. Sitting here on a Sunday, waiting for my team to play and watching (OK, listening) to football and sssh, munching on Doritos. But it's OK. I'm allowed.

This week was a good one and a not so good one in various ways.

I noticed I slacked in eating my greens. I came to realize this when I found three avocados hiding under four sweet potatoes. None of which had been eaten. And it was mid-week. This isn't to say I had a complete pause in greenery, but I was definitely falling behind. Ask the celery hiding in my crisper drawer.

I also am on a mission to create a green smoothie for myself. I'm not sure I'll get there, I have a few ideas and I shouted out for some assistance on twitter and hopefully have some tips that will work for me. Maybe this week will be the week I give it a try? When you look at them they're a little scary, but everyone who tries them say they're fantastic. So I'll see ...

Anyway, last Sunday I hit the gym and I did about 20 minutes on the elliptical and the bike (combined). It wasn't an intense workout, but it counted for something. Monday I did the C25K workout again. Outside. By MYSELF. Again! Yay, me!

On Tuesday afternoon the kiddo and I did a 25 minute walk/*jog* together. It was nice to be outside and fun to take her on a little run with me. Where she ran more than I did, I'll admit. But we were together, so that was cute. Wednesday had me doing C25K again. I stuck with the breakdown of Week 1 - 90 seconds of walking and 60 seconds of running (yes, I'll admit it's more of a jog - but still ...). I think I might be ready for the week 2, but for now I'm okay with taking it slow.

I worked out on Friday, but I took Thursday and yesterday off. I didn't mean to take yesterday off, but it was raining all day and although I kind of felt like hitting the pavement, I also was so tired I dozed while the Direct TV guy was setting up our stuff. Good thing I woke up before he came back upstairs!

Today I hit the gym and did the C25K workout ON the treadmill. I actually stuck with Week 1's breakdown again but did extend the running part to 90 seconds a few times. Just to try it.

And I weighed in this AM and am 2.8 lbs down. That's a total of 4 lbs when I add last week's 1.2. Nothing drastic, but my slow and steady wins the race mentality might just be working. Remember how my non-resolutional goal of 12 lbs this year before I turn 40 seemed a bit simplistic? Well, who cares? I'm 1/3 the way there.

I still take the time to remind myself that losing weight is for my health and strength, and at the same time I always want to remind myself of what is MOST important:
I bought myself some small, circular resistance bands at Target today to use to help stretch my feet out a bit. We'll see if I can use them enough to make a difference.

And for this week's final motivational and inspirational Pinterest saying, here we go:

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Streaming ...

This post is a part of the story that begins here ... a lot is missing in between, but this is a flashback for the character of Clara, a memory from about ten years earlier. It does not happen immediately after the Bittersweet post, it occurs later in the story but seems to fit this week's "Salt water" prompt so I am sharing it now.


... he told me to stay put. That he’d be right there. Here. He was coming. It’d been months, but he was coming to get me. Jacob. Here. Coming to get me.

I sat down with a cup of coffee in my hand, but spent most of the time blowing on it to cool it down. And I waited. Maybe he won’t come, I thought. He’ll come, my mind whispered. This is Jacob. You know he will come. Maybe he won’t. It’s been so long. He’ll come. For you, he’ll do anything. Anything you need.

I sat there for what seemed like hours, and in reality was minutes before he stood before me. Jacob. I stood up. He walked over. Held out his arms and I burst into tears. Jacob. Here. Holding me in his arms. I could feel myself releasing every drop of tension in my body as his scent enveloped me. He smelled like sage, maybe ginger or nutmeg? Or was that the coffee shop? He smelled so familiar. Is it possible that a person’s scent truly doesn’t change? No matter what they surround themselves with? Jacob. Here. Holding me in his arms. The tears came heavily now as he sat me down and sat himself directly beside me. I couldn’t look at him. Instead I watched my tears land on the napkin on the table in front of me. Was I crying that hard? That intensely?

“Clara,” he whispered. He really was there. “What’s going on?” I wiped my eyes and willed myself to look up at him. He leaned forward, “You can tell me, C. What happened?” He was so close. I felt my stomach lurch. The last time we were this close, so close. I shivered, shaking off the forceful memory. “Clara?” he whispered again, waiting.

“I just can’t do it anymore.” And with that I broke into more tears.

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Night Swim ~ Book Review

When I started reading Night Swim, by Jessica Keener, I realized I would never want to put it down. And I didn't. I read it really quickly and I really enjoyed it. I totally didn't want it to end. But, alas, as all great reads, it had to. And so it did.

The character of Sarah was one that I immediately connected with. Strange to say, since she is a 16-year-old girl living in Boston. You'd think that as a grown woman I'd feel more distant from her, but the way that she is written opens her up to us *the readers* in such a way that we connect pretty quickly. Keener's take on Sarah's youth, and her experiences, is open and often raw. The things this young character goes through leaves us in so many states.

She leaves us sympathetic, frustrated, emotional and spent. There were so many times throughout the book that left me wanting to feel happy for Sarah, but at the same time I think I just knew that something else would come that left me sad soon after.

Her family life was a bit of a mess. Sarah had siblings, but she often felt quite alone growing up in the home that her parents created. Her father - a unique individual that left me scratching my head a few times. Her mother - ah, her mother. So sad. A young girl wanting a relationship with a normal mother but never quite making it to that point.

Sarah is a young Jewish girl in Boston, and struggles with being made fun of for her religion. This aspect of the story definitely touched me, as having grown up in a community where Jews were as common as non-Jews, I couldn't imagine the way she was treated. Not in what was as close to this day and age as possible. My visceral reaction to that sort of talk - the kids that picked on her? - completely raw and real.

The way this young girl found the love she yearned for in the arms of a few young men, and where these yearnings left her ... the path of this story is one you'll want to follow straight through to the end.

I definitely recommend this book to anyone interested in a new author who has created a character, an entire family, with a story to share. I can honestly see spin-off novels from the perspective of the other characters. I think each sibling had a lot to say, and we just got enough of a taste of them to want more. But more than anything, we got Sarah, from start to finish. And Keener's writing style brought her to life and into ours. Great read!** I received a copy of this book from TLC Book Tours to facilitate my review. All expressed opinions are strictly my own. **

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I miss them

I am just not of the mindset today to write a full and strong enough post to honor the people I lost on this day so many years ago. If you have been following me or reading me for a while, you'll know that I have memories of losing both, my grandmother and my cousin (in-law, but I don't get technical) on this date. Several years apart. Like some cruel joke from destiny. Or whomever was in charge.

And today - I don't know what it is - I just feel like I am not up for the reminiscing. The core of the loss is always there. We live with it. I think of them both often. My daughter's middle name is after my grandmother. She will always be a part of my world. My memories. My life. Forever.

My cousin's husband will always be remembered. Yesterday would have been their wedding anniversary. We can't cry for time lost, but must remember the years we did have. She is blessed to have a beautiful son. He's practically grown (okay, he's not even close to ten yet - but it feels like he's grown) and is an essential part of her world. Had things not gone the way they did who knows how life would have turned out.

For me I think of him often, as when people ask me when I started dating my husband I think back to the wedding day. I say, it was after their wedding. And then to remember the year I have to remember when he died. And then I freeze for a few minutes, lost in thought.

But today I'm just going to be thankful that I had the chance to know him. Have him in my life for a little bit. And my grandmother, I'm going to remember her smile. And honor her. And if you'd like to read a happy batch of memories about my Bubby, feel free to click here. See? She's often on my mind. In my thoughts. And always in my heart.

May they both continue resting peacefully. And may those who - like me - miss them both today breathe a little easier in our time of loss and sorrow. We'll always be lucky to have had them. How does the saying go? Better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all.

From Alfred Lord Tennyson's poem In Memoriam:27, 1850:

I hold it true, whate'er befall;
I feel it, when I sorrow most;
'Tis better to have loved and lost
Than never to have loved at all.

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Novica Review and Giveaway

Have you ever shopped at Novica before? It's a fabulous website with an incredible mission. From their mission statement:

"We want to give artists and artisans around the world a global platform to express their true artistic talents and to spur their creativity. And, we want to provide you with access to unique, hard-to-find items at great values that only the Internet infrastructure can allow."

Novica also has some incredible accessories available for your shopping pleasure. I especially love the women's scarves they have available - fashionable and cozy, too. You'll also find a great selection to choose from for the men in your life, as well. There is also a gift finder option for that perfect surprise for someone special!

You can also help these artists by participating in Novica's microfinance program.

I had an opportunity to purchase something from Novica to review, and I decided on this set of three beautiful stacking rings.


They're so pretty. Simple. Elegant, too. I really like them. They look nice worn individually, and stacked together. My fingers are a little bit chubby for all three, but two on one hand and one on the other look really pretty. I like that they can have a wedding band look to them, too, as I don't always wear mine and like to have something on my finger to fiddle with.

I also decided to add to the rest of the money so I could buy myself something else with the rings. I opted for this cute pendant.

It's kind of funky, but I like funky, so it works for me. The only thing is that the cord is a bit short so it is a bit "choker-like" for my taste, so I may get myself a new rope to wear it on. But it has some cute colors and from the website description I read this:

"The energy of the day known as Imox allows us to keep calm and collected when facing chaos and the unexpected, understanding that it is all part of life," says Iliana Hernandez alluding to the beliefs that underlie the Maya calendar. "

Now I don't know about you - but I sure could use a little calm and collected energy these days.

And today I have a giveaway for you - my lovely readers. I have a $50 Novica giftcard available (expoires 1/31/12) for you to either buy yourself something special or buy something special for someone special in your life!

All you have to do is post here with a comment letting me know you want to win. That's it. That's all. Something simple and an easy entry.

If you'd like to have a second chance at throwing your name into the hat, please tweet about my giveaway and post the URL to your tweet here in the comments. That's simple enough, right?

This giveaway will run through the weekend and I'll pick a winner via Random.org on Sunday. The giftcard code is good through January 31st so you'll have to get to shopping quickly, but trust me, you'll find something you like right away. The problem will be picking which item to get! Good luck.

** I was provided with a gift card code from Novica to make my purchase on their website. I added some of my own money so I could buy two items. The review of the products here consists completely of my own opinion of their website and the products I ordered. I was not further compensated for running the giveaway. **

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My week in review.

So, as you see from my recent granola post and my going green info, I'm trying to be healthy and motivated as I kick off 2012.

I've decided I'll do a week in review post on Sundays, just to touch base and check in, feel accountable, or something along those lines.

In all honesty, this was a pretty motivating week for me. I have been tracking my food and intake much more accurately, and I've actually been working out.

I'll be honest, I kind of really like working out - I just hate that I struggle with making the time to do it. Which - as I write this on Saturday night while there are pumpkin chocolate cake mix muffins and cookies baking in my oven - makes me feel like I should get that one-mile in before bed. Oops. ** I did it! I did the 1-mile and only ate one cookie. Yay!**

Like I said, I'll be using this as an accountability thing. I'm planning (hoping!) to be honest to a fault and all.

So I started Couch to 5K this week with a friend. Thank goodness for her or I probably would still be sitting on the couch. Seriously. She came over a little before nine - as in PM - and we actually did it. It was crazy! But we felt really good after. And sweaty. It's good to feel sweaty. Gross, no? But it's so true.

Anyway - that was on Tuesday and we were figuring on Thursday and so on Wednesday I did the 1-mile Walk Away the Pounds DVD. I used to do this like 100 years ago. Sadly, even when I did it every.single.morning I didn't lose any pounds. It frustrated the hell out of me, so I started going to the gym every morning. I didn't lose any weight then, either. And that? Sucked.

But I'm hoping that I can get back on track. Do it again and see if it helps. AND. AND! Guess what? Last night my husband got home and I decided to go out and do a C25K walk/jog by myself. What the hell, right? Who AM I? But holy crap - I did it. I was so excited. Really, I was. And I am.

And today we (me and the kiddo) went to a birthday party and I didn't eat the cupcake that I decorated. Yum, I did lick a drop or two of frosting, but I brought the cupcake home for hubby. Yay, me!

And we also went out for Chinese food for dinner. And though I did get myself a vegetable bean curd soup (they were oddly out of miso) I opted for STEAMED chicken and broccoli. I wound up with chicken and mixed vegetables, and sauce on the side, and brown rice, and I couldn't even eat it all. I probably have 2 more meals in there. Pretty cool and money-saving, too.

Throughout this post I've included a few images from Pinterest, more specifically, my Motivate Me! board. And I hope you've enjoyed them and found them motivating for you, as well.

I'll also be tweeting on and off about my motivation, lack of motivation, need for inspiration and more. So if you don't already follow me on Twitter but want to be an extra ear (set of eyes?) for me and my plan, I'd love to have you on board. Click here and find me there.

Thanks for sticking with me. And if you have a plan for yourself, chime in. I could sure use the buddy system, and having a few extra friends along for the ride would totally kick ass.

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A veggie kick!

I'm totally on a veggie kick. Have you noticed? I mean, can't you tell I'm just oozing green? (That sounds gross, sorry!)

Seriously, though. I've even got an "Eat Green" board on Pinterest. Check it out!

** Note to self, if you are writing a blog post and you go to look up something on Pinterest be prepared to disappear for like an hour. Or so. Pinterest = time suck! And if you aren't on Pinterest, leave your email info in the comments if you want an invite, so you can be addicted, too.**
Anyway, I'm turning greener by the minute ... 

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Chocolate milk and smoothies

We make our smoothie together.

"I want you to share mine."

I've already had my own.

"But I have two straws."

Okay. I'll take a sip. Sip. It's good. -- We smile.

"I want cereal"

We don't have milk.

"Apple cider in my cereal!"

That's gross. (I think it, don't say it.)

"Mmmn."

You can't have cider in your cereal. It's not a good mix.

"Ap-ple Ci-der!"

Sigh.

Open fridge. Aha!

I have a better idea!

"What?"

Chocolate milk in your cereal!

"I never had this before!" -- She really does *bold* [okay, emphasize] the word this. It's how she speaks sometimes and I love it.

I know. It's okay. It will taste good. (Of course it will. The cereal is sugary aka frosted mini wheats. My favorite!)

"Mmmn. Yum." Sounds just like those.

I'll have some, too.

"With your cereal?"

With my granola. Splash. Big smile. It IS good. Mmmn.

"Mmmn."

Before I blink her cereal is done. Smoothie by the wayside, needing to be cupped up and put in the fridge. A small bonding moment passes as she runs out the back door to chase the dogs.

Chocolate milk in our cereal. Not one of my finest mommy moments, but one I will remember with hopes she does, too.

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I thought I knew what I wanted.

Write On Edge ... it's been a while. This prompt got me motivated.

This week we asked you to write a memoir piece about an unfulfilled goal or a broken resolution, beginning with the words, “I knew what I wanted”, keeping your words under 400. I'll admit I'm not counting my words this week, I'm just happy I am writing. And though I stuck to the prompt my unfulfilled goal was fulfilled and then not, and then it was again ... and I hope that's okay! I'm also linking up with Shell over at Pour Your Heart Out as I'm in the mood to talk from the heart about the past and this post is perfect for both, I think.

I knew what I wanted.

I wanted so much. I wanted to be part of a couple. I wanted to feel that we were normal again. I wanted to be with him. I hated that we were apart. It hadn't been that many months, but felt like so much longer.

Mix in a few drinks, a few random moments of eye contact and me flirting with the bartender and I had him. I don't think I meant to get him back that way. The ex, sadly. Not the bartender. The bartender who kissed me. Just a peck. Maybe it was even on the cheek. But it was the highlight of my life at that point. Because, G-d, he was hot.

But the ex was there. And I knew it. I wanted him to see. I wanted him to know I had strength. I didn't NEED him. And yet ...

I wanted him to get jealous.

We split on good terms. Tears. Emotion. Sadness. "Friendship."

But we saw one another five days a week. How could it end easily? We tripped over one another walking down the halls. I turned a corner and walked directly into him. It hurt, but I knew it was right. And yet - it hurt. My first true break-up. My first real relationship. What was I holding onto? I was the one who said something. Spoke up. We knew it was time.

And yet ...

I knew what I wanted.

Him to see the bartender. See me. Happy. Flirting. Hiding whatever sadness I had inside. Raising a glass. Or two. Or however many. Side by side with friends. Guys. Girls. Mostly guys. It was how I spent many years of my life. I'm a guys' girl. I'll drink, watch sports, shoot the shit and let them talk about it. Still am, but sadly most of those guys have disappeared from view. The two I am closest with can say they knew me when - and know me now. I'm much happier.

Anyway - I knew what I thought I wanted. And then I got it. And after a few months I knew I didn't want it anymore. It was time. Again. To say goodbye. And shut that door. To open new ones. One new one, specifically.

And then, well, slowly. Surely. I let go of the fear. And ...

I knew what I wanted.

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Books to read in 2012

You know I have a truckload of books on my to-read shelves. And then some.

So I'm making a list of some I want to read in 2012, that are not a part of my review list. I have some interesting sounding reads lined up for the first quarter of the new year, but I am hopeful that I can also fit in a few reads I have had waiting for me for way too long.

Here are a few:

* Room, Emma Donoghue
* Little Bee, Chris Cleave
* Sing You Home, Jodi Picoult
* Say You're One of Them, Uwem Akpan
* The Invisible Bridge, Julie Orringer
* Pretty in Plaid and * My Fair Lazy, Jen Lancaster
* Skipping a Beat, Sarah Pekkanen
* Lime Tree Can't Bear Orange, Amanda Smyth
* Winter Garden, Kristin Hannah
* The Forgotten Garden, Kate Morton
* Cinderella Ate My Daughter, Peggy Orenstein (waiting for review copy)
* Father of the Rain, Lily King
* Left Neglected, Lisa Genova
* Dirt is Good for you, Babble.com editors
* The Sweetness at the Bottom of the Pie, Alan Bradley (need to buy or borrow for book club)
* Bossypants, Tina Fey (waiting to buy paperback)

So obviously I wrote part of this a few weeks before the end of the year -because Room was one of the last books I read in 2011. And I read it in like a day! It was incredible. Absolutely amazing. But in my typical fashion of wanting to cross things off my lists, I'll leave it there. Fortunately, many of these books are already in my home, so I don't have to buy too many this year. Let's see how that works. I should give myself a book budget. Oh my - I think I might actually be onto something. Hmmn. I could never do a read all you have before you buy another book because it'll take me forever and a week to read what I have. But it might still be money-saving if I try to read like 5 books before I can buy one. Because I really want to buy Bossypants when it comes out in paperback. I love me some Tina Fey. Let's add that to the list!

How about you? What's on tap for your reading pleasure this coming year? Have you made a goal of how many books you want to read? I hope to hit 70 this year. We'll see how I do.

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Not *so* lazy granola ...

OK, so a week or so ago I was itching to make homemade (sort of) granola. And I was scouring Pinterest and anywhere else I could think of to find some easy ideas. Eventually I mixed up a bunch of recipes and came up with this:

1 c oatmeal
1 c flake cereal (crushed)
1 c chopped dates (bagged, dried, not me doing it myself)
1 c chopped walnuts

Mix together and bake at 350* for 10 minutes.

Take off pan - I used wax paper so as not to deal w/a mess - and mix in bowl while pouring honey on it (I didn't measure, just 2-3 heavy helpings splashed on). Lay back out on the pan and bake another 10 mins at 350*. Take it out, mix it up/turn it over a bit and put back in the oven for about 5 mins. I actually shut the oven off at that point.

We had it for dinner over low-fat vanilla yogurt and I tossed a handful of chocolate chips on top. Mixed it all up and OMG, it was so good!

Now this morning I tried it again, with a different flake cereal (it had some slivered almonds in there), with roasted sunflower seeds (I couldn't find plain ole' simple sunflower seeds!) and the walnuts again. And I used WAY too much honey, I know. But who could resist?

It came out well, minus a few small walnut pieces burning ever so slightly.

Anyway, it smells really good, and having it for breakfast - minus the chocolate chips - and with some low-fat vanilla yogurt (yes, again!) definitely filled me up for the morning.

Do you have some tried and true granola recipes? Care to share?

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Wherever You Go ~ Book Review

So I started reading Wherever You Go, by Joan Leegant, a day or so ago. And I finished it last night.

I really loved this book. It was such a good read. It was a splash of current events, a touch of romance (minimal, but just enough), a lot of family relations and a struggle with religious beliefs and observances.

Ms. Leegant contacted me via email regarding reading and reviewing her book. I took a moment to read the synopsis and I wanted in. I knew I wouldn't have the time to read it straight away, and in fact, it's taken me a little bit longer than I planned to get to it, but because of the subject matter I knew I had to be ready. And when I was I flew through this read. I've already recommended it to my aunt, as she is always looking for great books to read that have some historical flavor.

Flavor is weird to say when talking about a book, but this wasn't historical fiction. It wasn't true current events. Though it certainly could have been. So it encompassed history and current day in Israel as I'd anticipate things being. But she brought me her love of the country, and refreshed my desire to get there someday.

My dad spent two very early years of his life there. He went back once, I believe. I had an opportunity to look into going there after high school but he said no. I forgive him for that. It wasn't safe. But will it ever be in my lifetime? I know I want to go. I also know I wouldn't bring my daughter at her young age. But I'll get there. Someday.

But back to the book. Sorry - I had to tangent. This book brought out a lot of things for me, but most importantly showed me so much of the characters who struggled with their relationships. Relationships with family, friends, yes. But relationships with their religion, as well. It's a struggle so many people experience beyond what any of us know. I think the author hit the nail on the head with how she described it. She walked us through the three primary characters and their experiences in a way that helped us relate.

I will say that of the three primary characters, the one aspect of this book I engaged in the least was with the character of Aaron. Now, when you read the book you'll think you know why, but it was more that his setting seemed out of place. Ultimately I get it. I know why he was there, and the people around him were. He ties it all together. But some of the pages of his earlier story were confusing, a bit off for me. And his ending leaves me hanging a bit. But it's supposed to. We're supposed to use him as the tie to connect Yona and Mark. In an unpredictable way (which is one of the best parts of the book, I think. I love the unexpected!).

Overall, so as not to end up giving too much away, I definitely enjoyed this read. I recommend it to those who like historical fiction, stories about Judaism or even simply enough to someone looking for books set outside of the day-to-day of the US. This was a strong work, and I thank Ms. Leegant for the opportunity to read it. I hope you'll decide to do the same.

* This book was provided to me by the author. I was not compensated for the review and all opinions expressed are completely my own. Photo was borrowed from joanleegant.com and I hope the author doesn't mind!*

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Do I really have to wrap up 2011?

I don't - right? I mean, you guys are here. You read my day to day. Or every few days. Or whatever, whenever I decide to post.

So I don't have to totally recap for you - right?

Thanks. Because I was starting to feel a little bit guilty that I hadn't, and then, suddenly, I realized I wasn't feeling guilty at all. I was feeling like I was supposed to do a recap/flash forward kind of post, because that's what most bloggers do and that's normally what *I* do. But then, who is to say I can't change? Because guess what? I can! And I am. Now.

So instead of recapping I'm going to just think of a few relevant things to say for today. And maybe at the end I'll link up to a post or two that represent 2011 for me. Or not. It's my space, so I'll decide. And you'll still love me - go on - I know you will. I know you DO, even if you don't read me every day. Because, hell, I don't read anyone every single day. Not even myself! Bwahahah! Or the newspaper - for that matter. I do read twitter every day, though. So if you're not on there you really might want to consider it. I promise it'll be worth it. And that's all I'm going to say. Because you know how much I love when people pressure me to join FB, and I remind them that I have no interest whatsoever. But I think of Twitter as something SO different. That's why I like the twitter. You don't have to, though. I'm cool with that.

Anyway, happy Wednesday.

I was sick, and now I'm better. And in a total reversal of all illnesses that have ever passed through our home, my husband now has this cold AFTER I did. Impossible. I am never sick first. I'm always last. Always. The kid woke up with a stuffy-ish but said 'I'm better now,' after a cup of cereal and soy milk. Love that kid. She bounces back incredibly quick.

And the doorbell just rang and it was my UPS man. Ah. Is it sad that I so love the UPS man? I mean, nothing better than a surprise (that's now on my feet - stay tuned for a review in the coming weeks).

OK. So that's enough for now. I'm going to sit back, relax with my current read (see my widget in the sidebar for the cover image - that review will come soon, too) and my gingerbread coffee (with gingerbread latte creamer, because you can never have too much gingerbread - unless you're our house, as in the gb-house that the kiddo and I just demolished by hand because the roof had officially caved in for real. I mean, it was time - ya know?) and cozy feet.

Til we meet again!

* And consider this an IOU for those links. Or just click one of my categories. You'll find you'll know me better if you click randomly instead of my pointing out posts for you!*

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2011 in books!

I was reminded of this fun recollection of 2011 by reading Lisa's post for this year. She encouraged me to link up with Christine and so I'm posting again this year.

If you want to see my recollections for last year - hang on and I'll provide the link at the end.

Using only titles of books that you read this year (2011), complete the prompts below. Try not to repeat any book titles. Think creatively and have fun!

Describe yourself:
Flirting With Forty, Jane Porter

How do you feel:
Not Ready for Mom Jeans, Maureen Lipinski

Describe where you currently live:
South of Superior, Ellen Airgood

If you could go anywhere, where would you go:
Jerusalem Maiden, Talia Carner

Your favorite form of transportation:
Far to Go, Alison Pick

Your best friend is:
Sisterhood Everlasting, Ann Brasheres

You and your friends are:
Everything We Ever Wanted, Sara Shepard

What's the weather like:
Light on Snow, Anita Shreve

What is life to you:
Clutter Busting, Brooks Palmer

Favorite time of day:
Night Swim, Jessica Keener

Your fear:
Before I Die, Jenny Downham

What is the best advice you have to give:
Best Staged Plans, Claire Cook

Thought for the day:
When Did I Get Like This? Amy Wilson

How I would like to die:
Hello, Goodbye, Emily Chenoweth

My soul's present condition:
Happy Chaos, Soleil Moon Frye
Stay tuned for a list of "to-reads" for 2012. My Goodreads shelf is empty and ready to be filled with some incredible books. How many are you hoping to read this year? I just want to beat my recent totals of around 60 or so. Maybe 2012 will be the year I read 70 books?

And a link to the recap for last year: is here!

And if you want to see a complete list of the books I read in 2011, with the links for any reviews I completed, click here to check out Reading with Redneck.

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